The Further Adventures of Ennui and Dementia

Well, that's a pretty pretentious name if I do say so myself. It implies there was another story before this one and there wasn't, at least not one that got written. They say the naming of something is the first step though and I kind of like the sound of it. You could say Dementia's arrival many years ago would be the first adventure. Maybe some day she will set it down, or walk me through it so I can.

My friends have convinced me I should try and write down the stuff that has happened to me and so I am trying. Partly for myself and partly to humor them.

I should start by saying a bit about myself, so you know who I am. My name is Ennui, although I didn't start out with that name, but more on that in a bit. I am five foot five inches tall and one hundred and twenty pounds in the measurements of my place of birth. Right now I have black hair with purple and white streaks in it. Right now because I like to change my hair color often. Some say I'm pretty, but like most people I am not objective about how I look. To me my face is too heart shaped and wide with eyes set too far apart and too much pointiness to my chin. I wish my tits were bigger and my ass and hips a bit smaller. At least I'm not too thick around my middle and I'm in good shape physically. So it could be worse.

I was born in the circus. My birth certificate was signed in Seattle, but my mom's residence is listed as the circus train, the city without a postal code. My given name is Anna-Elisa Marie Thomas, after mom's favorite performer. We lived with the circus until I was twelve and it was the most fantastic of times. There were a few of us that had parents in the show. We had our own teachers and while we learned the usual stuff, like math, language, science and history we also learned circus arts. I was studying acrobatics and had just convinced Darlene to start me on high wire work. Looking back that may have been one of the reasons for my mom's decision to run away from the circus when I was twelve.

Mom loved me, took care of me, and watched out for me when I tried to do really stupid stuff. She had the worst luck with men, though. In the circus most everyone has strong egos. You need the arrogance that says, 'Yes, I can do that. I don't care what you say...'. Mom would find the ones with a thin veneer over insecurities, self loathing, and sometimes nastiness. Her relationships never lasted more than a month or two.

While she was at university the circus came through town and she just snapped. She stayed after one of the afternoon shows and just kept hanging around. When my dad invited her into his compartment she jumped in and stayed. She started helping the costumers and rapidly developed a talent at it. After three years she was the head of the costume department for the train. Dad on the other hand wasn't good at anything he did. He jumped the train in one of the bigger cities before I was born.

There has always been an us and them barrier between the circus and the townies. I think it comes from the way we pull into town, entertain them for a while, and then go away. Our life must seem like a glorious escape. Most of us agreed with that even with the hard work and danger. By the time I was twelve I could see that my mom didn't share this view. She faded a bit more with each town we passed.

We were in an average mid-western town when she announced we were leaving the circus. I was devastated. In an instant my whole life disappeared and I went to join the ranks of the townies. Mom had planned this out much more carefully than I have detailed here. She had been corresponding with an old high school sweetheart for years. When his wife died they had decided, through quite a few letters, to try a life together. I might have known if I had been paying attention.

My step dad and I got along well and he treated mom wonderfully. He had a younger daughter, my step sister Cindi (Always with an 'i', unless you wanted to piss her off), from his previous marriage and she was awesome. We got along from the first and remained close until I left. She is the one person I miss the most. I think about checking on her sometimes, just to make sure she is still ok.

I started school and found the townies were harder on outsiders than they were on circus folk. The circus isn't always kind to the 'may days', uh new-comers, either, however we try to make them feel at home, unless they are complete creeps. I was miserable for the first several years we were there.

I took to hiding in the school library or getting into trouble to avoid the playground breaks. The library was better than getting into trouble because I could loose myself in a book. Not long after I started hiding in the library I came across a book that helped me quite a bit. It was the story of a townie woman that had gone to live with gypsies. It read like the reverse of my life, although the results were the same. We both were in social groups we didn't understand. I lifted the gypsy term gaje from the book to refer to the townies, particularly the ones I couldn't stand.

In high school things began to improve. There were other outcasts that I could make friends with. Slowly a small group of us banded together and helped each other survive.

I hated the gaje world. It was all about obligations, mortgages, jobs, retirement benefits, and more obligations. Mom was thriving while I was dying inside. To cope I wrote constantly to my friends in the circus. At first it was snail mail letters. When the computer networks came along we switched to electronic mail. We would send each other pictures and they would tell me about their latest performances.

It all led up to the worst fight mom and I ever had. I was in my junior year of high school and had just gotten a letter from Terry, my best friend in the circus. She had just been in her first full performance and she had sent pictures and a review. Mom came in and wanted to talk about my grades again. I wasn't the best student and it was hard to keep plugging away at some of the subjects. The contrast between Terry's achievement and the gaje school was too much. Suddenly I found myself screaming, "Fucking gaje schools. All they care about is bullshit. Fucked up soul sucking bullshit."

"How dare you! You don't know how lucky you are to be here. You keep that attitude up and you will have no internet or social privileges for the next month."

The anger froze to ice as I said in a cold and steady voice, "You take away my privileges and my grades will go down to 'F's and stay there."

"You...you wouldn't... You'd be destroying your life."

"Try me," I responded still in that cold voice. Later I apologized profusely for the outburst, however the effect remained. It was the last time they threatened me with removal of my coping mechanisms.

It did explain why so many gaje children really cut loose when they went off to university. After years and years of control and enforced order they were suddenly released into a place where they had to figure out their own way. They hadn't learned that you can accomplish great things and still have fun along the way.

It was also in my junior year when I got the name Ennui. My class mates had noticed my spiraling decline. Some of them would point at me, put a hand to their head and say, "Oh, the ennui of it all." Which wasn't actually the way the word should be used. Then they started using it as a name to call me when I walked by. I found I liked it and took to it as a preferred name. I got my friends to start calling me by it all and it was soon in common usage. Anyone who didn't already know me thought it was my name. It was even easier to keep using it when I went off to university.

University was like a breath of fresh air. There was diversity of thought, you could choose the classes you wanted, and no one was on your back to perform. The only pressure was the need to keep the grade point average high enough not to get kicked out. My parents thought I should be a legal secretary or a nurse or something with a solid future. I enrolled in the theatre program and remained happily there. Even knowing it would be a constant fight whenever I returned home didn't stop me. To be fair, they were very happy that I had become a good student. I even made the dean's list a couple of times.

The theatre program was as close as I had been to performers and odd-balls in years. You'd work your ass off, put on a great run of the show, and party like crazy when it was over. For a little while I didn't miss the circus quite so much. Plus the university was in a town where the circus train stopped every year. For a glorious week each year I got to see old friends and catch up.

University wasn't all fun and games, although at the time it seemed darker than it does in retrospect. I had tried relationships a few times. Being a relatively normal ex hormone bomb I went after the boys. Some were nice, some were not, but most just wanted to fuck and run. Truthfully that was mostly all I wanted as well. However there was one guy I wanted to be more serious with. It didn't work though. I wasn't comfortable with open relationships and he was doing the 'sleep around' thing. It hurt like hell when I found out.

Cindi was having a hard time of it too. She was quite a bit more alternative than I was. She's six years behind me so when I was off to college she was in middle school. Her last year there she told me she didn't like boys. Once I convinced her she could talk to me she told me she was gay. It didn't matter to me but I knew da would flip. We agreed she'd send me e-mail whenever she needed to talk. We set up an encryption utility to keep it encoded in case someone else was trying to read her e-mails. She was able to find a few friends by the time she was in her first year of high school so that made her life better.

It was another late fall holiday break at university and my friends and I were at the Inferno dancing and hanging out. I was whining about heading home. I wanted to see my family but I didn't want to sit through the routine lectures about what I should do after university. I was looking forward to talking to Cindi about her troubles and trying to forget my recent disappointment in love. It was with a certain amount of trepidation and anticipation that I boarded the bus for home the following morning.

Memories overwhelmed me as the bus pulled in to the stall of the dingy, faded brick bus depot. All the recent fights with my parents rose up and pushed me into my seat. I had once more broken my promise to myself to take a longer break from them. The thought of seeing my step-sister Cindi finally dragged me to my feet and I hurried off the bus under the annoyed gaze of the driver.

A lackluster wind nudged the last of the fallen leaves around my ankles and the wheels of the bus. It hurried me along to the baggage cart and my two bags. I had just lifted them to my shoulders when my parents burst through the door and stopped short.

"Anna, my god, what have you done to your hair?"

'Damn, I forgot, how the fuck could I have forgotten,' I thought at myself. I had been going to pull out the extensions and wash the color out before heading home. Normally I loved the head turns it prompted but at home it was just one more target for the lectures. This particular instance had been really outrageous too. Wild orange and cherry red woven into hair I had dyed ultra-black. I had prepared it for the Day of the Dead celebrations and it had gone off gloriously. "It's temporary..."

"I do wish you'd washed that stuff out of your hair before coming home. I'll have to go to work on monday and listen to people talk."

"It's extensions da, not all of it washes out." Resignation was thick in my voice. I loved them but I didn't understand them. "I'm sorry I didn't get it out. There was a party for the Day of the Dead last night and it went really late..."

"I know you're, what is it these days, 'finding yourself' at school, but is this really the way you want to do it? Your mother and I tried to raise you as a good christian girl and there you are painting yourself up like some cheap whore and running with the devil crowd. I know we can't make you do things anymore, but could you try? At least for me?"

"Come on da, it's good to shake people up some times and it's university."

"Henry! I can't believe you actually said that to her. And you, Anna, why can't you take this more seriously? There'll come a time..."

"I know mama, there'll come a time when I look back on this and I'll cringe. At least I'll have had some experiences. It's more than Bobby Alexander can say. He could have gone to school, instead he's working at the family business with no interest in anything beyond it."

"Anna..."

"Can we stop now, please? I don't want to argue. I love you guys. Where's Cindi?"

"The school dance. She has some of your habits, although she is more studious. I still can't believe you're wasting your time on theatre instead of medicine."

"I don't want to be a nurse. I don't cope well with sick people."

"But there's no future in theatre. Your mother figured that out when she left the circus."

"Da, that's not true. The circus had to add a second unit to handle all the requests for shows and smaller circuses are starting up everywhere I am glad the two of you got together, and I love Cindi. It's just I miss my friends. I miss the thrill of the show. Most of all I miss the travel. Can't you understand? Not everyone is meant to settle down."

"Anna, I had my time being wild with the circus and I outgrew it. I don't want you to have to go through the same things I did."

"And what did you go through mama? We had friends and I was learning so much beyond the boring stuff the gaje taught here."

"Now don't you start. And don't use that damn gypsy term, you know I hate it. There's nothing wrong with being a settled person. We tried to give you a good life..."

"And you did in a lot of ways. I just don't want to settle down. I see others at university already giving away their options chasing security. I understand the desire, but the cost is way too high!"

"Now my dear, how many times have I tried to tell you that life isn't always about what you want."

"I know da, but can't it be once in a while?"

"Now Anna, we have these conversations every time you come home. Could we just leave it for now?" mama pleaded.

"Ok, let's go home. I'd like to wash the trip off and get one of your good meals as well."

It worked as a distraction long enough to walk to the family van and get in. Then the onslaught started again. "You know dear you should try and be more of a role model for your sister. She sees you going off to university and carrying on the way you do and it makes her think she should. She's started hanging with that black wearing crowd like you did. Do you really think it's good for her?"

"Mama! You said she was off at the dance. It sounds like she's doing ok."

"Well, yes, but I'm a bit worried. You had boy friends in school. Cindi doesn't. I'm worried about her. I don't want her socially stunted or anything."

"She'll be ok. I have friends at university who didn't start dating until then."

"I just don't want her to have a hard time is all."

"She's going to be fine. She's a great kid." I turned and stared out the window, watching the run down buildings of down town pass by. There were more "For Rent" signs and fewer shop signs than there had been two months before.

Da pulled into the driveway of the mustard yellow ranch house. To forestall even more discussion I made a quick show of getting my bags while da opened the front door. On the way in I called as I headed for my old room, "I'm going to go unpack and take a shower." I dropped my bags in the room and slipped quietly through the kitchen instead of toward the bathroom. I needed to get my head together before round two of the 'discussions'.

Using a well practiced series of steps I silently opened the back door, darted across the yard, across the neighbor's yard and along the side of their house. I gave a quick wave to Ms. Murchase where she was on her front porch and stopped abruptly. Cindi was sitting on her front porch swing with her arm around another girl. They were leaned in close and cuddling, one more thing our parents wouldn't know how to handle. Ms. Murchase gave me an exaggerated hush sign and smiled. I smiled back, gave her a thumbs up sign, and continued into the far street.

I hurried through the neighborhood of newer homes, turned down Elgin St. and into a section where the houses were older and more varied. At the end of Elgin I turned left and followed the fence bordering Mansen's Cemetery. It followed the line of the driveway to Mansen's Mansion which had been converted to a high class bed and breakfast.

Half way up the driveway I slipped through the old gate and into the overgrown section of the cemetery. Most of the Mansen family were buried in this section under wicked awesome old statues and monuments.

The night was warm but overcast, threatening rain at any moment as I followed a well known path through the cemetery. I had spent many long hours in that cemetery. The worn paths, overgrown sections, and crumbling old grave markers were dear friends. None of the gaje wanted to be this close to dead people and my parents would never have thought I would come here. It became my refuge whenever the gaje or school or my parents got on top of me. That night I needed to calm my shaken nerves. Every time I went back it was the same. I would forget just how intense the pressure would get. I'd vow never to do it again. Then the next holiday would come along and the desire to see them would overwhelm the last decision.

The tension drained out of me as I made my way to my favorite place. The tall ragged grass whispered quietly against my boots as I carefully I pushed my way through a half dead weeping willow. A heavy sigh escaped as I settled onto the crypt for Rachel Stevens, born 11 January 1935, died 4 June 1955. The bent headed angel watching over her grave stared down at me as I leaned back against it. I stared through the twilight and willow branches across the leaning wrought iron fence and to the empty railroad beyond. Many times I had come here to stare and dream.

"So, Ms. Stevens, what should I do? They want me to be something I can't even figure out. It's hard, you know?" It was a bad sign when I talked to the woman buried under my favorite marker. She had heard so many of my woes over the years. Made me hope she had moved on, otherwise I figured one day she'd get really angry and yell at me for constantly whining.

The wind whipped up suddenly and lashed me with willow branches. Its bitter edge reminded me it was late fall in the mid-west. In the distance lightning flashed. "I guess I should have brought a coat, shouldn't I?" I laughed into the wind. "Seems like every time we see each other I'm talking to you about my home life. Bet you wish I'd shut the fuck up don't you? We could talk about something else. I could tell you about university..."

More lightning flashed in the distance as the sky opened up above me. Freezing rain slammed down soaking me immediately. I jumped off the marker and thought of running for home. It brought another sarcastic laugh to my lips. I'd be just as soaked either way, walking or running. I had decided that running would be warmer when another flash of lightning revealed a shape on the railroad in front of me.

Lightning flashed again revealing ornate gilding and carving on the cars. My feet moved before my brain finished thinking. I vaulted the fence and approached the train at a half run. The back car was an executive car of some type with large windows and warm light. Through the streaks of rain I saw comfortable looking chairs, fancy wall coverings, and artwork. The next car forward was an ornate circus baggage wagon and in front of that was an old diesel engine.

Another gust of wind knifed through me and I dashed around the back of the train. There, on the tracks, the wind wasn't quite so brutal. For a moment I thought about pulling myself up on the platform until the tales of gaje rapes and abduction passed through my mind. I turned to run for home.

A warm, low alto voice called to me from the platform, "Hell of a night for a wet T-shirt contest don't you think?"

"It's raining out here in case you hadn't noticed." I turned to face the train again.

"Yes, however most of us are inside when it happens."

"Maybe I was going to take a shower when you ruined my privacy."

"Cheeky, I like that. I can toss you some soap or you could come in for a warm drink, the choice would be yours."

"Let's see, shower or warm drink, it's a hard choice..." Defiantly I stood there as if I was thinking seriously about it. Actually I was trying desperately to keep from shivering and ruining the game. I managed about a second before my frozen legs propelled me toward the steps up. "Looks like warm drink wins."

I reached for the stairs but stopped as the woman said, "What do you say?"

The words flashed into my mind with the intensity of the lightning storm, "I enter freely and of my own will."

"Then enter and be welcome aboard the Death City Railroad, lady..."

"Ennui," I replied as the woman raised her eyebrows. A shivery tingle rippled through me as I pulled myself onto the platform steps.

"Welcome Ennui and Blessed Be," she said as she motioned for me to precede her into the carriage. "Interesting name, is it really yours?"

"It's the one I chose to go by. I hate the one my parents gave me."

Oil lamps hung from wrought iron hooks and cast yellow light around the warm and dry room. Large comfortable chairs in muted reds and blacks huddled together in comfortable clusters. An ornate golden samovar perched regally on a side table and fine china cups rested nearby, promising the warm drink that had been offered. A fire burned in a small wood stove providing heat against the chill air. The faint scent of jasmine tingled the air.

My would be rescuer was beautiful. She wore a long sleeved silk top with a ruffled front. It was open in the front just below her breasts and revealed a blue gem topped navel piercing. She had a black mesh short skirt over a crimson velveteen long skirt that came down to the tops of her black button front boots. Her hair was a rich auburn and hung in loose waves to the center of her back. It framed a heart shaped face with a generous mouth and warm brown eyes.

She must have seen my scrutiny because she gave a short pirouette and asked, "Like what you see?"

I blushed and said softly, "Ummm, yes, I guess, uh thanks for letting me in out of the rain." 'Smooth, bet she thinks you're a dork.' Normally I wasn't that tongue tied around other women.

I was still thinking about how to add to my first stutterings when she continued with, "I fear you are dripping on the carpets. Please, the bath is forward through the door, first compartment on the right. You'll find towels and dry things. You may draw a warm bath if you wish."

I glanced down and saw the spreading wet patch on the rich red oriental carpet, "Uh, sorry about that. Thanks, uh, ms.?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I am Dementia."

"Dementia, riiiight. And you asked about my name..." She just smiled as I headed to the passage.

I quick timed it down the light wood paneled hall and into the bathroom. The scent of vanilla enfolded me as I stepped into the room. An enormous claw foot bath tub almost filled the small compartment. Thick, fluffy burgundy towels hung from a gold rack on the far wall underneath closed wine colored curtains. A large black silk dressing gown was revealed when I swung the door shut.

I stripped off my wet things and started the tub. Once I had the water adjusted I dropped in and let the warm water rise to cover me. Slowly the cold cramps eased out of my muscles. I was able to slide down until just my head was out of the water and luxuriate in the warm water. When the water had cooled to discomfort I longed to drain it and fill it again, and again, but courtesy won out. Reluctantly I pried myself out of the tub and dried off with the soft towels. Feeling better than I had most of the day I slipped on the dressing gown and padded back to the main room.

My benefactor was sprawled in one of the overstuffed brocade chairs reading a stack of papers. She looked up as I entered. "Better?" she asked.

"So much! I can't thank you enough for that bath."

"There's hot jasmine tea in the samovar. Help yourself if you'd like." She returned to her papers while I crossed to the samovar and poured a cup. I returned to a chair near her and set the cup on a convenient table. After a few moments she looked up and said, "Well now, it is time I asked you something. I am not here by accident. I'm not sure how to say any of this without creeping you out, so I guess I should just begin. I know you have dimly sensed there is more to the universe than what those around you have said. I know of your fascination with things dark and other worldly. Because of this I can offer you a chance to ride the Death City Metro. I can take you away from here. Away from the what do you call them? Gaje?"

I choked on the tea. "Whoa there. How do you know about that? Just who are you anyway?" She was right, serious creep out time. I stood rapidly and headed toward the bathroom. "I'll be getting dressed and leaving now."

"Wait, hear me out. Consider it payment for the tea and bath."

When she made no move to interfere with my actions I stopped at the passageway door. Slightly less terrified I leaned against the frame, and waited. After a minute I prompted, "Right, and I'm just supposed to believe this too good to be true, offer not available in stores anywhere, kind of deal? I don't think so." I turned again, more to force the issue than out of desire to slip back into soaked clothes.

"You entered freely, you are free to go as well. Back to the school work and the failed relationships, back to the good christian parents, and the boyfriends who screw everyone else behind your back. I can offer you so much more than that. All you need to do is come with me. You wanted to thank me for the hot bath? Then let me try to explain." She must have seen me wavering, and I was. Cindi was the strongest reason to stay followed by my mom, then my step dad and my friends in the circus, but I was curious in spite of all that. "It's a dream you've always had, isn't it? The ability to step through the wall, turn the corner and be someplace new. Well I can give you that. And if you don't like it, you can return. Some disclaimers apply of course, but I'll explain them only if you sit and drink your tea. I have it on good authority that the rain will last at least another hour, maybe two."

Slowly I returned to the seat, sat, and took a long sip of tea. "Go on then."

"The offer is you can come and look around, you can participate, and you can leave whenever you want. You can and will be changed by the events and places you see. The longer you stay or the more intense the experience the quicker you will change. In Death City we become how we see ourselves. So, while you can return at any time, those that you knew may not recognize you if you have changed too much. You were chosen because you have abilities that will help us in our mission. What those abilities are will become apparent as you spend time in the service of Death City. You will lose those if you choose to return to your previous life. The biggest disclaimer is if you die in the service of Death City, it is the Final Death. This is the issue that stops most people we talk to. Your soul ends, you end, no more times on the wheel. No heaven, no hell, just total oblivion. So if you were looking forward to an afterlife or another turn on the wheel, this would not be the choice you'd want to take."

My mind blanked for quite a few minutes. "So, let's see if I have this right. If I thought there was an absolute, forever, heaven and hell with only one evaluation to determine eternity, this would be a way to opt out of that whole thing?"

"Basically, yes."

"And if I didn't believe much of anything but was scared by that scenario anyway?"

"It doesn't matter if you believe, or what you believe. You have qualities we desire in a member of the Death City Metro."

"You aren't very good at the sales thing are you? You offered me this 'adventure' but you haven't said anything about what it is. Just all the things that could go wrong."

"It isn't about selling anything. We only want those who know up front what the risks are and accept anyway. As for what the adventure is, Death City exists to rescue the beauty created by life. The gods and such take care of the living things, the 'people', animals, and plants but they don't do anything with the beauty that the various peoples create. When war and destruction ravage a place it is Death City that recovers the art and science and then carefully filters it back into growing and thriving realms. Have you ever wandered a second hand shop and wondered where some of the truly unique things come from? That's where we have been."

Outwardly I tried to project as much calm as I could. Inside my thoughts were a sea of chaos. To slip the bounds of religious bullshit without taking any chances balanced against never seeing my friends and family again. Contrasting an easy sounding job that was probably more dangerous than Dementia was saying against a life of maybe returning to the circus. Although more likely ending up in an office or something like it, bored out of my fucking skull. Those were the thoughts chasing in my head that night. Every time I would just about have it settled Cindi's face would pop into my mind. At last I answered, "Can I think about it?"

"For as long as the train remains here, yes. Once you step back off the train, the offer is withdrawn. The Lady may see fit to offer again later, or she may not. I know it's not an easy decision. And now I'm going to read these documents and leave you to your thoughts. Take your time. We can stay here as long as it takes. Interrupt if you have any questions."

"What about the people I know?"

"It will be as if you walked out into the night and disappeared. This isn't for everyone and none of us really have any idea how the Lady chooses." Dementia picked up the stack of papers and began reading once more.

I stared into my tea, slammed it, stood and paced, stared out the window, stared at Dementia, got more tea, stared into it again, threw myself back into the chair and then kind of growled at Dementia's calm figure, "And if I say no?"

"Then we wait for the rain to stop, you get dressed in your own clothes again, and you leave. It really is that simple." Dementia replied calmly.

I stood up again, headed toward the bathroom to make room for more tea. Dementia looked up and said, "By all means, look around if you like. Not all of us travel in this much style though. Usually this is only for those of us that live aboard the rescue trains."

"I was headed to the facilities, however I think I will." Once I finished I turned to follow the passage deeper into the train. The next compartment held a largish bed with an intricate brass work frame. Tall brass candle holders held column candles casting dancing shadows over the rich tapestries masking the walls. Thick black curtains screened the window.

The next door opened into a small kitchen with an attached dining area. The kitchen gleamed with stainless steel commercial grade appliances and neatly arranged equipment. The dining area featured a narrow table with two booth style vinyl bench seats.

The last compartment was a mixed pantry and storage area. At the end of the passage was the connection to the rest of the train. For a moment I thought about checking out the old circus wagon but I turned around instead. Slowly I retraced my steps as my mind continued to churn.

As I stepped back into the room I spoke, "OK, I'll give it a try. Show me what this is all about."

Dementia pulled open the top drawer of the table next to her, lifted a headset style com and spoke, "We can leave now. Let me know when we are nearing Escatcheban. I still need to deal with that situation." She looked up at me again, "We will be making a short detour on the way to Death City. I have information one of our teams needs to complete their mission. I suggest you make yourself comfortable. It will be a couple of hours."

Faintly I heard the sound of a diesel engine powering up. With a slight lurch the train slowly started to move. I quickly sat down in the nearest chair as the motion threatened to unbalance me. I had a moment of regret as I realized that was something else I had lost while living in the gaje world. The beat of the engine rose to a steady roar, muted by the coach work, while from below came the rhythmic sound of wheels over rail joints. Regret and uncertainty welled up as the train gathered momentum.

Our speed continued to rise, well past anything I remembered from the circus train. The coach rocked and swayed until there was a strange little lurch and the ride became silky smooth. I pulled back one of the curtains in time to see us pass through the clouds and out into a moon-lit cloud-scape. Panic flashed across my mind and I clung desperately to the chair I was in. "What the hell is happening here?"

"We are leaving. Don't worry you get used to it after a while. The magic of Death City Metro allows us to travel this way. Someone who understands magic might be able to tell you how it works."

We sat in silence for a while until I asked, "So, what do I do while I wait? Don't you at least have some music to listen to or something?"

"Try in the cabinet under the samovar. There might be something you like in there." I slowly stood up, not certain what to expect in the way of motion. It was very similar to the circus train on good track. With increased confidence I walked to the samovar. I had thought there was a plain table under it but it was actually a teak cabinet with large doors on the front. Inside was a decent sound system with a large stack of audio disks next to it. I saw a faint shimmer pass rapidly over the stack as the titles resolved into clarity. "Oh yeah, things you need will seem to appear as you need them. It only works for small things, like clothes and stuff, but it is convenient," Dementia commented without looking up. "I forgot to mention that. Sorry." I selected a couple of my favorites with a slightly shaking hand. shoved them into the player, hit play, and cranked up the volume. Mind shattering Goth beats thundered through the carriage. Dementia's head snapped up.

"So, finally I got you to react. This is what I like and, as my da always said, guest's choice."

Dementia listened for a while and nodded in approval. "That's good. I haven't found many who like what I like."

"Where do you go clubbing in this Death City place? Seems you could always find a place that plays this."

"There isn't a place, at least not that I know of."

"Shit, that sucks. Turn the train around and take me back or open one yourself. I can't believe there'd be a place without a good club."

"I could I suppose. Never really thought about it much. What would you like in a club?"

"What would I like? What kind of question is that? I haven't said I'll stay. Hell, I haven't even seen the place yet."

"Well, just give it some thought. I've never seen this thing of which you speak."

"What sort of...not seen a club? I don't get it."

"Death City is outside of time in a way. Those who come there come from all kinds of times. I come from a place that is nowhere near what you come from. In my time there were Music Halls and theatres certainly. I have heard the term club used for a place of dancing, however it is usually called a meet market as well and not seen as a particularly inviting thing."

"Must have been some eighties guys. Eighties clubs sucked from what I've heard. No, I meant a goth club. People dress like you do and play music like this. Only people who are into the scene show up. Everyone is respectful and friendly. That's the kind of place it needs to be. Music Halls? I've seen that in a TV show or two. Wasn't that in London?"

"Yes, in the nineties, the eighteen nineties of my world. I once saw Sherlock Holmes come to the theatre where I was working. I think he was on a case."

"Sherlock Holmes, get out. That can't be right. He wasn't even real."

"Maybe not here he wasn't. Eternia touches many dimensions and many realities. He was very much alive in mine. Now tell me more about this club of yours. It sounds like it could be a good thing."

"Uh, well, it is usually a largish dark room with strobing and dancing lights, loud music, and a dance floor. The lights are kept low to encourage even the most embarrassed people to dance. Often there's a section with tables and a bar where you can get various drinks. The music is often played by DJs. Uh that would be people who play various pieces of music from music disks like these. Sometimes there are live bands. I don't know, that's about it I guess. Could be an old bar or an old warehouse or just about anything. The only requirements are enough room to dance and hopefully far enough from neighbors who would call the cops on the noise. There was a really cool one near where I was in school. The people who ran it lived above it in the apartments there and used the main floor for the club. I always thought they were really lucky."

"You could do that you know. We could start one of these in Death City. There are plenty of places to find an empty building. We could have apartments above and make it any way we wanted."

"Who's we white girl? Just visiting, remember."

"Of course. I just thought you might like to help me get it all sorted out. You know, make sure I do it right and all. But that's ok. I'm sure I can do it. You wouldn't want a hand in how it was set up or anything I'm guessing. What with just visiting and all."

"Nice try girlfriend. Gotta give you points for that."

"Points? What an odd expression..."

"Uh points, credit, uh let's see, it was a good try at convincing me. Points would be like viewing conversation as a sport and awarding game points to those with the better arguments. That help?"

"Yes, thanks."

"Why don't you just go back to your papers and such. Unless you can tell me where to find something a bit more appropriate than this robe. Now that I'm staying for a while it would be nice to get dressed."

"Check the storage area. There should be something in there you'd like to wear."

I hurried back to the storage area and began digging. It wasn't long until I found the low cut belled jeans and baby doll shirts that I favored. I emerged in faded blue jeans and a black top, settled once more into my chair and glanced out the window. This time I stared out at the passing star-scape in wonder rather than terror. "Should I even ask how we are still alive?"

"Same thing as how we left in the first place. The magic creates a bubble around us. Inside it there is air and bits of track and everything else we need to move. It appears in front of us and disappears behind us. It is pretty wonderful really. That's about all I know about it though." She lapsed back into silence for a long while, then stirred once more. "I should tell you what to expect on Escatcheban. This world died from severe tidal forces generated in its core. The inhabitants were developing some new type of weapon based on gravity and didn't get it quite right. The devastation is pretty much complete. You can stay inside if you like. It won't be pretty. It never is. I need to tell the team how to find a particular vault. It appears one of the factions was stock-piling treasures in an unexpected location. Our original information didn't reveal it."

"And you just happen to have found it?"

"No, I just happened to 'See' it. It is my 'gift' I guess you would say."

"But you wouldn't?"

"Not really. I see the information in the context of what will happen to the team in question if they don't have the data. This time it's several acid spraying devices."

"Ick."

The com chimed softly right then and Dementia picked it up, listened for a moment, then put it back down again. "Now you can see what it looks like going the other way. We are arriving soon."

I watched as the train entered the fringes of the atmosphere and silently sailed downward. Even with magic the ionization layer build-up was impressive as we shed speed to drop to the surface. Some of the bad science fiction movies had gotten it pretty close, others obviously hadn't. It was an impressive sight to see the fire streaming by outside. Once the burning flare passed we could see dark roiling clouds far below. Rapidly we descended to them and then into them. Greasy rain streaked the windows and pounded on the roof. "More rain?"

"Afraid so. I won't be long though." As we dropped below the clouds a nightmare landscape came into view. Shattered buildings littered the ground. Flares of burning gases lit the scene in red and yellow flickers. Steel skeletons reached broken fingers toward the sky. The train shook and shuddered whenever it touched real world track as the earth convulsed in pain. Everywhere the greasy rain left oil slimed puddles on the shattered ground.

Around a curve another train was pulled off on a siding. Powerful spot lights beamed from the roofs and doors of several cars. In the glare groups of figures huddled against the wind and pulled various items from the rubble around them.

As we slowed to a stop Dementia stood, ventured back into the passage, then returned a few minutes later in a long woolen cloak. Pulling the hood up she stepped through the back door and out into the wind. It gusted briefly around the warm interior bringing with it the smell of fire, smoke, and burnt things.

Dementia struggled over to the nearest group of figures and began gesturing and motioning toward a shattered pile of building. It was clear she was issuing detailed information about it. Once she violently shook her head and gestured firmly. After about ten minutes she turned and struggled back to the train. Once again the door let in the howling wind and terrible smells of the dead world. She slumped against the door for long moments, breathing hard. "Goddess, I hate this part. So much death and misery. You can feel it in the air, hear the screams on the wind, smell the blood..." Sobs wracked her as she slid to the floor.

I walked over to her slowly, not certain what to do. Carefully I pulled her into a hug, the kind I used to give Cindi when she was hurting. "Shhh, it's ok. It's ok. We can leave now. Let the others handle it." I helped Dementia back to her chair and settled her into it. Next I pulled the com out and stared at it for a moment before speaking, "Hello? This is Ennui. I'm back here with Dementia. She did what she came for. Can we please leave now?"

A soft genderless voice replied, "Certainly." I replaced the receiver as once again the train gathered speed and soared off into the sky.

"Thank you," Dementia murmured quietly.

"Hey, no problem. Can't leave my club partner to suffer alone now can I?" I replied with a forced grin. "You going to be ok?"

"Yeah, it's only really bad when I'm out in it. It's not just visions for Death City personnel that I get. I can see it all. The wars, the deaths, the terror..."

Quickly I pulled her close again, "Shh, stop now. Don't think about it. We are leaving. Don't make it worse than it has to be. Tell me about Death City."

"Death City is the center of Eternia. It's not the only city, it's just the one where I park this carriage when I'm not out on a mission. There's a larger, more industrial city between Death City and Portal Station, it's know as Goth City. Portal Station is the main entry to Eternia. It is the Gate between the Realms, where we are now, and the 'otherness' of where Death City is. It is beautiful there. It's a place of healing, peace, and rest." A huge yawn suddenly stopped her. "I'm really tired all of a sudden. Would you mind terribly if I were to take a short nap? It's another hour at least to Portal Station and suddenly I can't keep my eyes open."

"No, I wouldn't mind. Let me help you." I supported her as we walked to her room. She was much more solid than I had thought when I first saw her. Once she was comfortable in the bed I went back to the sitting room, got yet another cup of tea, and settled into Dementia's chair.

Curious, I picked up the papers Dementia had been reading. They had 'Escatcheban' printed in a title block and were plans and diagrams. I was about to place the stack back on the table when my eyes were drawn to the last few. These pages were hand written in a neat block print. On them was detailed the fall of Escatcheban. On the very last page the ink had smeared a bit, as if it had gotten wet. Under the last paragraph was a simple tag line saying, 'Recorded by Dementia - DCM'." Slowly I straightened the stack of papers and set them back on the table. I leaned back and sipped the tea. 'What have I stepped into?' I finished the tea and leaned my head back. Soon I was half dozing, staring at the ornate curved ceiling of the carriage. At last I drifted into a fitful sleep.

The soft buzzing of the com pulled me awake. It took a few moments to realize why I was sleeping in a chair and my neck was all kinked up. Still in a sleepy daze I growled, "What?"

"Portal Station in ten minutes."

"Portal Station? What's that...uh...right...sorry. Didn't mean to be rude."

"That's ok. This is Lady Ennui, right? How is Lady Dementia?"

"She's asleep. I think she is doing better. Should I wake her?"

"You might make sure you're nearby in case the transition wakes her. It's quite intense. You can let her go back to sleep if she wakes up. It's another two hours from Portal Station to Death City and if I know her she probably really needs the rest."

"Uh...ok, and thanks." Swiftly I walked to the bed chamber and settled into a position where I would be in plain view if Dementia woke. I waited with growing trepidation for the Portal.

I knew the instant we passed it. Every cell in my body screamed in unimaginable raw sensation. The air shimmered and danced, while everything solid pulsed between thin fog and thick veils. For a moment I glimpsed something indescribable behind it all. Then as quickly as it had come it was gone. I glanced fearfully at the bed but saw Dementia was still asleep, although a small smile had appeared on her lips.

I looked through the window in time to see the last lights of a building as the train thundered into a long tunnel. Dementia stirred at the rising tide of sound as the tunnel echoed the train noises back on top of each other. "Ah, home! Welcome to Eternia Ennui."

"Thanks. The engineer told me you can sleep some more. Don't wake up for me, I'm fine."

"I probably will once we are out of this tunnel. This is the longest and loudest on the route. You should see this during the day. Once we clear the tunnel it is spectacular!"

"I'm sure I will."

I leaned back against the bed before sliding down to the floor. Sleep stole over me as well as the night's activities caught up with me.

"Ennui, Ennui..." The sound of my name slowly filtered into my awareness. Sleepily I opened my eyes and saw Dementia leaning off the bed. "Hey, you want to share the bed? It's more comfortable than the floor and there's plenty of room." Dementia patted the side next to her. "Come on. It's late and there will be time enough in the morning to show you around." I started to shake my head. "I don't bite and we're both dressed if that's what worries you."

That brought a bright red blush to my face. "No, no, that's not a problem. My sister is the one who likes girls, although she hasn't told anyone but me yet, and I'm babbling," Boy was I babbling. At the time I couldn't understand why her offer affected me so much. "I just don't want to invade..."

"You aren't invading. I seduced you," Dementia grinned wickedly before finishing the thought, "into coming on this adventure. If you were invading I wouldn't offer. Now come on. We both need the rest." She patted the bed once more.

Reluctantly I slid in beside her and more swiftly than I thought possible fell back asleep.

Hours later I slipped back into wakefulness. Dementia still slept beside me. Moving slowly and carefully I slipped out of bed and down the hall to the water closet. From there I padded softly to the kitchen intending to start coffee. Bright mid-morning sun streamed in through the window and glinted off the kitchen fixtures. Distracted by the light I opened the window and let in the smell of old creosote and flowers. I heard movement in the bedroom as the scent of coffee drifted through the carriage.

Soon a sleepy looking Dementia staggered into the room. She flopped down in the small eating alcove. "Hey, morning, you didn't have to..."

"I know, I wanted some anyway." I filled a cup of coffee and asked, "You take it with anything?" When she shook her head I handed it to her. Once I was sure she wasn't going to drop it I filled a second one for me, dumped in a liberal amount of sugar, and sat down across from her at the small table. We sipped in silence for a while before I asked, "So, now that I'm here, what do I do?"

"First I show you around a bit and we find you a place to stay until you decide what you want. If you're hungry we can eat here or there's a place nearby that serves great breakfasts. Choice is yours."

"How about out then? I don't want to be a bother."

"Ok, let me get ready and we can go."

A few minutes later we stepped out the back of the coach and into a medium rail yard. Tracks stretched off in crossing patterns forming numerous sidings around us. Rail cars of all types were parked in random patterns on various sidings. Inside a couple of distant sheds small figures bustled about working on various bits and pieces. "Welcome to Death City Carriage Works, where the rolling stock gets parked and maintained. Further in towards Central Station is Temple Heath Locomotive Works. That's where the locomotives are worked on. This keeps the grime from the locomotives away from the rolling stock. This is where I have my car parked when I'm not out on a run."

Dementia pointed across the sidings to the river beyond. "We are going to follow along the river to the rail bridge that feeds Central Station. Across the river is the Temple of All Faiths, Central Station, and the Adam and Eve Pub. There are homes, shops, and restaurants over there as well. Big Jo, at the Adam and Eve, sets an excellent table. I thought we could head there for today."

"Sounds good. Why is your coach parked here?"

"Central Station has very little track space but I still like to be near the center of town. Steven and I came to an understanding after I found him a few choice rescues that helped him repair some of the carriages under his care." Dementia lead the way along the river walkway. The river sparkled and danced under the yellow sunshine to our left. To the right were shops, sheds, and a scattering of houses to support the carriage works and Temple Heath yards.

We followed the curve of the river to the base of the great rail bridge that fed Central Station. Massive iron girders arched above us. Near us a broad stairway lead up to a walkway beside the tracks. The bridge was immense, supporting four sets of track and a pedestrian walkway on each side.

Walking across the bridge gave us a great view of the river and the parts of the town laid out along its banks. There were gardens and plants and growing things in every place there wasn't a house or a lane. Across the bridge the spires of a temple poked skyward. Ahead of us sunlight glinted from the glass and iron of the Central Station platforms.

Once we were across the bridge Dementia turned left down a narrow set of worn stone stairs. At the bottom she turned left onto another river walk. We followed it under the bridge and along the river until we reached a high wall with a gate set into it. "This is the cathedral close. The Adam and Eve is on cathedral lands." Dementia opened the gate and we entered the close. It was beautifully maintained park land with flower gardens and shrubs scattered tastefully about. I wanted to stop and soak in the peace and tranquility it radiated but Dementia was walking rapidly up the path. She turned up the first branch we came to and then followed this new path to the pub.

I had been thinking in terms of the meet markets I had seen, or a university bar set in a big building. This pub was in a small, old brick building. It had several visible levels, distinguished by the rows of windows.

Inside there was a small common room directly behind the entry door and extending to the right. Directly across was the modest bar with a cheerful young woman arranging glasses behind it. She looked up as we entered and said, "There's no room up here. You'll need to head to the vaults."

Dementia turned left and led the way down a partial flight of stairs to an additional common room. She turned left again and pointed out an almost hidden spiral stairway down. As we descended Dementia explained that the proprietor and his family lived in rooms above the main section of the bar.

I expected a cramped, low ceiling room sandwiched in between the foundations, instead we emerged into an enormous vaulted chamber. Massive brick pillars supported the smaller building above. Large tables were scattered about the spacious floor. Only a few were occupied with groups digging into large plates of food.

"Damn, left my ID at the train..." I muttered.

"Reality check, you aren't in the Realms any more. Here you are assumed competent until you prove otherwise. Also, everything is a loose form of barter. The pub provides food for you, you provide services in some manner for others. It's as close to communal living as I've ever seen and it works remarkably well here." Dementia waved toward a table. "Sit, Jo will be down in a minute or two." Right on cue the young woman from the counter came bouncing down the steps. "Hi Jo. What's the special of the morning?"

"Hi stranger! Shepherds pie, although the four mushroom omelet is a good second bet. Coffee first?"

"Of course! And Jo, this is Ennui. Ennui, Jo. Ennui is visiting us for a little while. She hasn't decided yet if she plans to stay or not."

"Pleased to meet you! Coffee?" Jo exclaimed as she gave me small bow.

"Coffee would be great. And could I get grapefruit juice as well?"

"I think we have some, I'll bring it if we do." Jo disappeared up the stairs only to return a few moments later with two huge mugs of coffee and a pint glass of grapefruit juice. "Know what you'd like yet?"

"Shepherds pie," answered Dementia.

"I would like the omelet please," I added when Jo looked my way. She moved almost like a bird, hopping from place to place and then tilting her head to one side a bit when waiting.

"Great, they'll be up soon."

"Jo, Josephine, is Big Joe's daughter. Big Joe runs the pub and Marta, his wife, does the cooking and rarely emerges from the kitchen."

"How did they get here?"

"That's one of the social rules here, I'm afraid. You can tell someone how you arrived if you want but it is considered extremely impolite to ask someone else how they did."

"Ok, then I won't ask you about yourself then."

"That's ok, I will tell you if you really want to know but it's best shared in a bit more privacy. I can try and answer questions you might have though."

"Well, for starters, there is the obvious 'why me' one..."

"I'm glad I said try. That's one none of us knows. The Lady makes the choices. She hasn't yet revealed how. We do know you have skills that we need and you will probably adapt to our loose communal society."

"And if I stay but don't adapt?"

"It has happened. Usually the person who can't adapt moves on in some way. Either they take a Sacred Unit to the more traditional afterlife or they die on a mission. You don't seem like someone that will end up on that path though. Ah, and here is our food." For the next few minutes we dug into the delicious fare. I learned later that the Adam and Eve was the place to go for excellent food. While we were savoring ours more people came in until every table in the large chamber was full.

When we finished Dementia lead the way back out into the cathedral close. "How about I just take you around the streets for a bit? Give you a general sense of the place."

"Sounds good. I must say I was expecting something a bit more brooding and gothic though, with a name like Death City."

"There are places like that. There is a major industrial city a few kilometers back toward Portal Station that would fit that description better. Here we are even older in feel actually."

She showed me a beautiful city. We walked cobbled streets past timber frame and stone houses. There were brick buildings and row houses all painted in warm colors. Flowers and plants were everywhere there was either a space for grass or a place to put a container. The streets and alleyways snaked and twisted between buildings and places. Many would be too narrow for automobiles, however it turned out that particular curse was absent from this city. Finally I turned to Dementia and said, "There was something you started to tell me at the pub. About how you came to be here."

"Ah yes." She lead us to an outdoor table near a small coffee house and motioned toward the door, "Coffee?"

"Sure." We walked in, ordered, then went back out to the table after collecting our drinks. Plant holders surrounded the small terrace near the door where our table was. Beyond it was the cobbled street we had followed to get here. Odd sculptures peeked from behind various plants and peered down from the window ledges of the coffee shop building. The table and chairs were fancy wrought iron work with thick cushions. I settled into mine grateful to get off my tired feet for a few minutes.

Dementia began talking after a sip of her drink. "There is something I need to tell you first though. This place is called Death City because most of us die to get here. You did not. You are what is known here as a Shadow Walker. You could return to the Realms and your old life just by stepping off a train in the Realms. There are some here who are not kind to Walkers. It has to do with a weird mix of envy and pity. They pity you because they feel you aren't complete and they envy you because you can return to stay. It's best not to let people know this about yourself."

"But you told Jo..."

"I told Jo you hadn't decided if you were staying. Every new arrival in Death City has a choice. Usually it is the choice between journeying to the afterlife or remaining in Death City. For Walkers it is deciding whether to return to the Realms or remain. Jo will assume you are just another new arrival. Even the dead can die here. Once again it is the final death. This becomes the last afterlife you would get."

"Oh wow. So you are dead then?" I sat back and stared at her. She looked good, alive, and healthy. She had felt warm next to me on the train. "How does this work then? You aren't cold, you have a body..."

"My Realms body died and I came here. Something in the transition provided me a physical form. It started out just like the one I left behind and then it morphed into the one you see now. It's how I would have chosen to be if I would have had a choice in the matter. I guess it counts as death and this is the afterlife. Some of the religious would say you have seen heaven, although they would be technically wrong."

"I don't get it."

"Heaven is a place, so is Hell, and Valhalla, and the Summerland, and a host of other afterlife places. Death City is Death City. We are not a part of that either. We are our own place. What I have managed to piece together during my time here is that the Lady predates many of the other deities. She was not interested in playing the worshipper proxy wars that so many of the others like. As a result she created this place. A neutral place where beauty could be preserved. A place where those of us that didn't want to sell our thoughts to a younger, petty minded god could come and be. Her feeling was let the gods fight over the other souls. Here we would preserve beauty and we would provide healing for those who had tired of the proxy fights. Our charter is to go out into the Realms and rescue the beauty that no other deities really care about. There is danger from the others. Some see us as evil minions to be destroyed. Others see us as offshoots of the powers of good. While out in the Realms we need to maintain scrupulous neutrality, otherwise the gods and such may decide to attack us as well as each other."

"I still can't believe you are dead."

"It's complicated. You can touch me. Obviously you did when you helped me in the train. My body died and my soul transitioned. Now you know. There is an afterlife and everyone gets some version of it. Even those that choose oblivion can have that as well."

"Wow. I could really freak my parents if I went back."

"They wouldn't believe you. Trust me, other Walkers have tried it. The results are always bad. Now they just send you to a therapist. Some Walkers were confined to institutions in the earlier days. We got them out of course. Still it is a pain in the butt to get into some of those places."

"So how did you, you know, die?"

"It was kind of stupid really. I was working at this theatre in London. It was in a rough section, the border between Whitechapel and a more genteel section of the city. Anyway I saw someone go down into the cellars of the theatre one night after the show. Rather than telling Mr. Jago, the owner, about it I went to investigate. I thought I was being clever and I guess I sort of was, I just wasn't being very careful. I crept up to where this person was and saw that he had an open trap in the cellar floor. Out of it was climbing a very old oriental man. I dodged back into the shadows but I thought for one moment his emerald green eyes had locked with mine. I had convinced myself that I had gotten away with it and left for my home. Someone followed me to my flat above the Fox and Hounds pub and once I was safely in my room they slit my throat and left. I awoke on satin sheets aboard a Death City train. Marta, Big Joe's wife explained to me what had happened and where I was as we left my London behind. The rest is history."

"How long ago was that?"

"I have no idea now. Time passes here but we don't really pay much attention. You live until you choose to no longer do so here. Or until misfortune finds you on a rescue mission."

It sounded so reasonable and so bizarre at the same time. Was it possible I was dreaming and would wake up cold and soaked in the cemetery? Although if I had been this long in the cold and wet I might not still be able to wake up. I shook my head sharply to try and banish the thoughts and slammed the last of the very good coffee. "How long has it been in the Realms? How long have I been gone?"

"I don't know exactly. It varies a bit from Realm to Realm. Very likely though not much longer than apparent time. Although it could be as much as two full days. Why? Still thinking of going back?"

I couldn't quite meet her eyes. "Yes. I... I'm worried about my sister and I...it doesn't feel right to abandon my mom either." I stood up and paced around the table. "Damn it, this is a dream come true and I can't seem to embrace it. Why the fuck couldn't it happen when I was angry with them or after they died or something? This just feels so cruel, so wrong..."

"Maybe what the Lady sees in you wouldn't survive until those cases you suggest came along. Let me ask you a question. What would happen to your spirit if you didn't get back into the circus, but had to go to work in a traditional way? Theatre is never a high employment opportunity even at the best of times."

"I guess I would keep plugging away..."

"How long would it take before your dreams started to die? How long before bitterness, resentment and resignation ate away your joy? Maybe the reason the offer is now is you are still able to accept what is offered and have the inner resources to benefit from it."

I stared at her in silence as the words whipped around in my thoughts. It went on and on until I grabbed my head and moaned. I looked up with tears streaming from my eyes, "I love them. This will hurt them very badly. I don't want to hurt them but I don't want to go back. They aren't quite enough to make up for the dreariness of the gaje life." I thought about it again. I had friends that could put in a good word for me and I knew what the life was about. Unbidden images welled up. Images of some of the fights between the ring master and the money people, or between the boss clown and the money people. Terry's last e-mail hinted that the owners were meddling even more than in the past. There was even talk about background checks, drug testing, surveillance, and other gaje style interference even though there hadn't been anything to prompt it. I moaned again and looked up finally. "I, god, I will stay."

"It's ok to mourn them. Any big change is very much like a death." Dementia stood and walked around behind my chair.

She wrapped me in a tight hug and held me until I finally pulled away. I gave her a shaky smile and said, "Thanks."

"Hey, no problem. Want to continue the tour?" She asked as she handed me a napkin moistened in one of our water glasses.

I gave her a trembling nod and we resumed our walk through town. As we approached the massive structure of Central Station I asked about something else that was on my mind, "You said something about changing. What did you mean by that? I haven't had much luck changing myself in the Realms."

"Here you become how you see yourself. It's one of those things that's really hard to put into words. Inside each of us is a sense of self. A sense of how we think we look and how we act or react to life. I vaguely remember when I was in the Realms that I would see my reflection in a mirror and it wouldn't quite match how I saw myself in my head. Here you will slowly change to match that inner view."

"Gods, I am so fucked."

"Not necessarily. It isn't the conscious nasty little voice view. It's something deeper than that. It will happen to you as well. Although as a Walker the changes will be much slower. Since you arrived with a physical form already existing. It is one of the greatest gifts of Death City and the Lady."

"This Lady, is there anything more you can say about her?"

"Not really. I have heard many names for her. Lady, Mother, Kali..."

"Kali!?! The Destroyer?"

"And the loving mother. Never forget, Kali is both. I can see you have much to think about. Maybe we should think about finding you a place to stay?"

"Maybe we should look for a suitable club building instead. If we were to find that we would also find me a place to stay. At least we would if this works the way you said it did."

"If you really need this then it should work that way. Do you really need this?"

"Yes I do. I think you do as well. What do you do right now when you aren't out having your brain hammered by visions? Do you just stay in that rail car of yours?"

"I wander the streets. Sometimes I help out in the Hall of Records, cataloging and adding to the records of the worlds we have recovered items from. Once in a while I will go along when a shipment of items is taken to a thriving Realms world."

"Sounds very selfless of you. Now what do you do for yourself? What makes you happy?"

"Uh, well, I listen to music and I wander around talking to people in the city. I like to talk to people. It's just hard to connect with them sometimes. It's a matter of finding someone with similar interests."

"See? If we had a club people of some similar interests would come to it. It would save having to hunt for them. We should decide what this club needs and then start looking for a place we can turn into it."

"Ok, we can do that," Dementia replied as she turned and started toward the rail bridge. She stopped after a few feet and said, "We could go back through another section of the city and cross the river near the carriage works. You'd get to see more of Death City and maybe we'd see something as well"

"Lead on then."

Dementia started off down another maze of streets. Soon I realized I would never be able to find my way back if it were just me. Meanwhile she was saying, "I have no idea what should go into a club. I'm guessing we should have a bar of some type, a kitchen, sounds like a dancing area, and some type of sound system. You're the expert. I've never even been to one of these things."

"I think it's time for a field trip. How do you get an engine for your carriage? I need to take you to a club or two. I know several great ones where I came from."

"It's not that easy..."

"Are we prisoners here?"

"No, no, you can leave whenever you want, well as soon as we could get a train. It's just we aren't encouraged to wander into the Realms. There's too much chance of something going very wrong."

"Are you forbidden then? Do you melt or turn to vapor, or die? If not, what's the deal?"

"It's too easy to upset the balance of things."

"We are just going clubbing. That won't hurt anything. Look, if I really am wanted here then I have some type of purpose right? Maybe this is it. Now how do we do this?"

"There's one more thing," Dementia began hesitantly. "Those of us that died to get to Eternia aren't usually seen by those in the Realms. It takes either a very sensitive person, or a great deal of effort on our part, to be noticed. For you it will be almost like going in alone."

"What happens in a mix? Where some see you and others don't?"

Dementia smiled thinly, "Then it gets interesting."

"Then we hope the person on the door isn't sensitive, or that we enter alone, and then slip you to a dark table. Still doesn't seem like a big problem."

Dementia sighed heavily as she lead the way back to her carriage. "Usually dispatch sets the schedules and trips. I guess I could call them and see if I can set something up. I've done it enough with the visions. Once that's done Bart controls which locomotives are available. Once something is scheduled he will release one with a driver and then we go when the routing is cleared."

Suddenly I was in a hurry to get going. "Cool, how much longer until we get back to your carriage?"

"Patience," Dementia laughed as she picked up her pace. After an eternity of streets and buildings we reached the coach yards and Dementia's car. Inside she reached for the com set and punched a couple of buttons. "Dispatch, this is Dementia. I need to schedule a trip back to Ennui's world...no, the first one I went to last night...that's right...no, not the same place, no...just a minute, maybe Ennui can explain it better." She handed the handset to me saying, "Merris is the head of dispatch. You need to tell her where we have to go."

"Merris, hello. I'm Ennui...that's right...the city is called Madison and it's in a state called Wisconsin...you do? Wicked!...no, I'm from Indiana. I was going to school in Madison. I never made it to that part of the state...yeah, the east side, kind of...no, I don't remember the address. It's called Inferno and it's right near an active railroad...you can? How wicked is that!...I'll let her know. Thanks." I handed the handset back to Dementia and said, "The route's cleared for tonight. All we need is a locomotive. We should arrive about the time the club opens. Now I need to find something suitable. Where in this town can I go shopping?"

"You can check the storage area again and if you don't find what you need there are some shops back in town." Energized I bounded out of the room and dashed to the storage section. Clothes rapidly piled up in the passage as I pawed through it. Finally I found some items that appealed. Spider web stockings under a skirt cut to mid thigh in the front and nearly to the floor in back. A tight crimson silk top with short sleeves went on under a spider web lace long sleeve top. Button up granny boot completed the outfit. I took a couple of minutes to survey myself in the bedroom mirror before returning to the sitting room. It wasn't a look I normally would have chosen. Normally I favored more outrageous, but it seemed perfect for the occasion.

Dementia looked up as I returned. I hid a smirk as I saw her stop and stare. She mouthed a silent 'wow' which did indescribably wonderful things for my ego before saying, "Bart will have a locomotive for us in time for departure. I wasn't sure how long we would be there so I told him we'd be back by morning."

"The club closes by two in the morning so we will be fine." We sat quietly for a few minutes until a restlessness started to eat at me. "You know, this is really weird. I feel like I should be somewhere or doing something. If I were home I'd either be hanging with friends or doing homework in preparation for monday classes."

"You get used to it after a while. Once you've been here a day or two you can start hunting things to do. Temple Heath or the carriage works are pretty good examples. They combine the better parts of a full time job with a lot more slack and ability to set your own time schedule. There are other places where the schedules are a bit more fixed. For example the Adam and Eve has pretty standard hours, so people there have to be more aware of that schedule."

"What do you do?"

"I'm between positions at the moment."

"That sounds like you got fired. Can that happen?"

"Not really. Actually I took a few days in case you wanted someone nearby while you got settled. Or until you decided to return. Then I was planning to return to the Hall of Records. Although we recently picked up a group of historians so they are doing more of the actual cataloging and compiling now."

"So you could be between projects..."

"Look, I'm interested in this project, but if you keep beating me with it I'm going to get pissed off." Dementia growled through a grin.

"Ok, ok, I'll stop. Maybe we should get something to eat before we go. It will be a long night."

We returned to the carriage just as a huge man was coupling a locomotive to the car. "Ennui, this is Bart. He's in charge of Temple Heath. Bart, this is Ennui, new recruit and possible pain in the..."

"Hey!"

Bart was an impressive man. He easily topped six foot two and was wide shouldered and barrel chested. Muscles rippled and bulged as he made the final connections between the locomotive and car. He smiled as he stood towering over the two of us. "All set then ladies. Allen is in the cab and awaits your instructions. Dementia, I want you to stay out of trouble." Dementia turned and stuck her tongue out at him. He turned to me, "See, you just don't get any respect around here. Nice to meet you Lady Ennui," he said as he thrust a huge hand in my direction. "Dementia mentioned you'd talked her into this little joy ride. Are you going to be trouble as well?"

I flashed him my best innocent smile as I took his hand, "Who, me? Of course not." I had expected a handshake, instead he briefly touched his lips to the back of my hand.

"Well I won't keep you. Have a good trip. I just came down to meet you and ask you two to please stay out of trouble," Bart turned and headed back toward Temple Heath.

A young handsome blonde head appeared at the window of the locomotive cab. "Ladies, if you could get aboard. Merris has given us a pretty narrow window on the main lines."

"Certainly!" We scrambled aboard as the whistle sounded and the train moved off down the track. Dementia pointed at the windows. "You should watch this time. There is some incredible scenery on this trip." We rolled out of Death City, through a section of farm land and then through an industrialized valley. Climbing back out of the valley we passed through more farm land, then into the industrial district of a large Victorian city. Looking at the buildings we passed I was struck by how much this looked like what I had expected. Factories, mills, and brick works stood along the rail lines. Wagon ways wove a tight web tying the rest of the city to the tracks. Ahead, on a hill rising higher than the chimneys and warehouses, were buildings of white stone, surrounded by spaces of green. Suddenly we were running straight into a gradually deepening cutting. The twin tracks we were on branched to the right and ran through a valley of rock walls, swinging away from the city center and arrowing toward the distant mountains.

Inspired by the city we had just passed through I walked to the sound system and put in several old favorites. Soon the carriage was filled with dark, moody sounds. The music and the motion of the train soon lulled me into a trance. The scenery flashing by outside blended into fuzzy remembrances of Thaalasa, my favorite gaming character. As we climbed into the foot hills and towering trees I imagined her stalking through the forest. I could almost feel her magic singing along my nerves.

The darkness of the first short tunnel startled me. Suddenly I felt warmth in my hands. Staring down into them I thought I saw a faint glow before we crashed back into the late sunshine.

Shaking my head I tried to wake up. For a time I succeeded. Outside I watched the steep slopes of the mountains. Twisting and turning, the train clawed its way up, winding through narrow valleys and soaring over high bridges. Suddenly we rounded another bend, soared out on an impossibly long bridge, and then into a long thundering tunnel. "We're almost to the Portal aren't we? I remember this sound from last night." I had to shout to be heard over the thundering echoes.

"Yes. We come out of the tunnel, pass Portal station, and then go through the Portal." As Dementia shouted back we cleared the tunnel and roared past the station.

The ripping and twisting of the Portal threw me back into somewhen else. Energy flared and rolled from huge red suns. White hot plumes of light flickered through me and traced fire patterns in my skull. Vaporous, I floated in the whirl. Tendrils of forgotten dreams teased at my vision. I reached for them, almost succeeding in touching them, when reality ripped me back and slammed me back into the train.

Dementia was watching me with a very strange look on her face. When she saw my eyes focus on her she said, "Intense isn't it? The Portal is different for each of us, and different each time as well. Are you going to be ok?"

"This thing needs a television or something. What do you do to distract yourself?"

"Read. You do know how to do that, right?"

"Oh very funny. Yes, I know how to read. So where's the library?"

"There are those leather bound things in the case near the passageway. You might try them." I walked over to where she had pointed. In a small case were large hand tooled leather bound books. For a minute I lost myself just looking at the books themselves before I managed to read any of the titles. I finally decided on an H.P. Lovecraft volume and settled in to read an old favorite.

Dementia retreated to the living area of the coach long enough to change into the outfit I had seen her in the previous night. Then she settled in with a book as well.

The haunting strains from the "Ghost In The Shell" soundtrack drifted from the speakers as I read. Even more than usual it drew me into itself. Forgotten dreams tugged me down as I closed my eyes. I was Thaalassa, standing in flickering torch light, smelling the mix of old death and damp stone of a long forgotten tomb. My mouth was moving in silent words as my fingers flew through the complex web of a spell. In my brain something opened and energy poured along my nerves. A feeling of pressure surged and flowed from my head down to my hands. Just as I was about to cast the spell energy free I heard a sharp call, "Ennui!"

My eyes snapped open to see Dementia staring at me. "Are you ok? Was it a nightmare?"

I tried to focus in on her. For moments stale energy burned along my nerves in hot waves as it crashed in on itself. A massive shudder raced through my body as it flashed off. "I don't know. Ever since the Portal I can't focus on here. I keep slipping sideways into something else."

"Where are you going?"

"Dreams, day dreams, I don't know. They seem so real, so very real... More real than any dreams I've ever remembered."

"You want to not do this? We can go back."

"No, I'll be ok. It's just ... weird..." I lapsed into silence for a long moment, then drew a breath to start explaining.

The chiming of the com stopped me. Dementia answered it, listened for a moment, then said, "We're headed down. Inferno in just over half an hour. Want to talk about it?"

"I think so..." I tried to explain. Every so often she would stop me and ask a question or two.

"It sounds like you're awakening, but usually it's more subtle and slow than this. You want to stay here for a bit? We don't have to go right in if you are still drifting."

"No, I'm good."

"Lead on then."

I headed out the door of the coach and onto the back platform. We crossed the little used siding and emerged onto the sidewalk. In the distance I saw a group of people clustered on the sidewalk near the parking lot for the Inferno. They were carrying signs and waving them at anyone headed into the club.

As we got closer I could hear them chanting the usual religious tripe although with more damnation and less love than usual. Gulping down a deep breath I continued toward the door. "What's this all about?" Dementia asked.

"I don't know, maybe some church got a bug up its ass again. This is the first time I've seen them this intense here though. There isn't any risk, they'll shout at us, but let us pass."

As we came into view of the crowd a middle aged woman turned, pointed at us and screamed, "Devil spawn. It's them, the soul stealers we were warned of."

Dementia froze as she stared at the woman. Small incoherent sounds bubbled out of her throat. "Come on, don't let her rattle you. We'll be safe inside," I urged as I grabbed for her hand. I staggered, dizzy and disoriented. If I hadn't been holding her hand I would have fallen.

When my vision cleared I saw a writhing, twisting ball of tentacles and eyes where the screaming woman had been. Gibbering mouths foamed and frothed as the voice howled on, "Stop them. Save our children." The thing rushed at us as Dementia's feet finally moved.

Stumbling and terrified I dragged her across the small parking area and up the ramp to the front door. I shoved it open, hauled us inside, and slammed it shut behind us. Blinding pressure burst behind my eyes as a burning symbol flared across my vision. In a daze my hands wove a pattern then pushed shimmering blue light onto the door. Where it hit a web-like pattern flared into brilliance then melted into the door. Almost immediately rapid pounding sounded from outside but the door held firm.

"Ennui? What the hell was that?" asked a goth boy dressed in classic vampire apparel.

Still half lost in the weird almost trance my hands continued in more leisurely but even more intricate motions. At last I spun a slow pirouette and opened my hands outward. Blue energies floated to the walls and wove themselves into the wood and wallboard. Released at last I slumped against the counter. Slowly my eyes focused on the boy. "Uhhh?" I mumbled.

He stared at me strangely for a long moment, then shook his head. "What the hell did you just do?" He started to speak again when the door opened and three girls hurried in.

"Heya Mortiss. It's really creepy out there. Some christian nut balls are at it again."

"Hey guys. Should I call the cops? They've been there since before opening, about an hour and a half ago."

"Maybe," one of the three responded. "They're closer than usual and shouting really nasty stuff. Weird for Madison. I wonder what's got them riled tonight." Mortiss and the three missed the look Dementia and I shared. "Hey Ennui, who's your friend? Don't think I've seen her before. Weren't you headed home for the weekend?" The other two girls and Mortiss looked around and then back at Samantha.

"Morticia, Samantha, Melicious, and Mortiss this is Dementia. She's a friend of mine from out of town." After a look at Dementia I decided to try and brazen it out. "I was going to go home until I realized this was the weekend Dementia was going to be here. Gotta go home for the upcoming holidays anyway. Wouldn't want the pleasure too often."

The other three stared again and their faces cleared like they could see Dementia after all. "Yeah, I know that feeling. Just be glad your folks live in Indiana. It sure beats having them in town, except when it's time for laundry that is," Morticia sympathized. "Nice to meet you Dementia. See you around." She and the others passed money to Mortiss and moved around the counter into the club.

"Dementia, could I see some ID please?"

A panicked look crossed her face, "I'm afraid I don't have any."

"Mortiss, is there any way we can work this? Where she comes from they don't typically need ID like we do here. I mean she has a passport but that's back at my place. It's always bad to loose one of those. Embassy visits and all sorts of hassles. I suppose we could go get that if we have to..." Luckily Dementia saw my small head twitch just as she was going to ask what a passport was.

Mortiss paused for a moment then replied, "It'll be ok tonight, especially with those nut balls out there. Go on in. And Ennui..."

"Yeah Mortiss?"

"Some day I want you to explain what happened when you ran through the door. That was really odd."

"Uh, sure Mortiss. Catch me monday after physics, ok? And I owe you a dance when you're off the door." I passed Mortiss the cover charge and led the way around the counter. He watched us curiously as we walked into the club. "I'm glad I won't be there Monday, let him wonder... Now welcome to my world. One of the few gaje places where I feel accepted." The counter was in a wide short hall that led to the darkened dance floor. I sauntered across the edge and then across the far end to a table in the shadows, near the wall. "I'm going to get something from the bar. Do you want anything?"

"White wine?"

"Ok, I'll be right back." I strutted up to the bar, leaned across, and said, "Hey Darien, god of bartenders, supreme commander of mixologists, how about a bulls blood and a white wine chaser."

Darien smiled deeply and mock bowed to me. He was tall and thin with large hands. If he worked out he would probably be a muscular type of guy, but he didn't. He was in his standard outfit of heavy work pants with dark leather chaps, ruffled white linen shirt under a fringed brown leather vest, and a big cowboy hat with a black rose stuck in the hat band. Vampire fangs completed the look. "Thank you Ms. Ennui, complementary as always I see. Doesn't get you anything off your drinks though."

"Damn, one of these days it's gotta work." I paid for the drinks and walked back to the table. "Is this ok? We could go past the bar to the other section, but it's mostly tables and alcoves."

"From here we can see most of what you wanted to show me?"

"Pretty much. The back area looks like most bars, although darker. This is the heart of the place."

The table was small and crafted from heavy wrought iron. The chairs were done in a similar fashion. Our table was near the wall facing the parking area. Once we were seated I leaned toward Dementia and asked sharply, "What the Fuck was that thing outside?"

"A glaazraak demon I think." Dementia replied slowly, "Although why it is here I have no idea. They don't usually come to living worlds." Dementia stared back at me. "And what the fuck was what you did to the door and room?"

"Something from that dream place. It seemed the needed thing so I did it. What does a glaazraak do anyway?"

"Sows discord, fuels hate, and feeds on fear. That is if I remember correctly. We aren't supposed to have to go up against them. It sure looked like that one was about to ignore the truce."

"Ya think?" A brilliant, incandescent crimson spot blossomed on the wall next to us. Swiftly it faded into mauve, then purple, then back to blue webbing as pain exploded in my head. "Holy fuck! Oww, shit!" I dropped my head and sucked air for all I was worth. Strange violet fire patterns blossomed in my head as the pain rapidly faded. My hands sprang into motion tracing the fire patterns in the air. Just as they were about to stop I glanced at the ceiling and saw bands of white snaking between the lights. A ferocious grin split my face as my hands danced once more. This time they were under my control as I snapped them toward the wall.

Blue-violet light flared from my hands painting thick cable-like webs across the wall. The lights and sound dimmed as I pulled power from the electrical grid and fed it into the spell. At first I thought only I noticed but a quick glance showed everyone in the club looking around. I saw Darien looking straight at me as the energy faded into the walls. "Fucking thing. Let it suck on that!" I snarled in satisfaction. I took a couple more deep breaths and leaned back. "Now, this is what a club is like. Well, except for the weird magic shit. People know you at your club. There's fancier places. I remember one that was split level, dance floor on one and bar/food service on another. Then there's all the ones you see in movies that aren't real. Anyway, the sky's the limit on what we could do. I think we should..."

My voice trailed off as another incandescent white hot spot appeared on the wall. Blue web lines flared into life as the sound system and lights failed. Rapidly the white faded away. Dementia looked at me obviously expecting me to shriek again. Instead I favored her with a very self-satisfied smile.

It faded fast as Dementia grabbed her head. "No, not now..." She shuddered and drew ragged breaths. "Ennui, gotta get..."

"Hey Ennui, Dementia. I'm off the door and have come to collect..." Mortiss' voice broke in.

A shuddering crash echoed through the room as a car punched through the wall and slammed into Mortiss. The impact threw him back into one of the support posts where the car briefly pinned him until the post gave way. Screams erupted throughout the room as parts of the ceiling dropped. The building shuddered and groaned but held.

Violet energy poured through me as I sprang to my feet. Dementia was already shouting to the crowd, "Ok everyone. Leave through the nearest emergency exit."

Few of the people paid her any attention so I shouted as well. Then hollered over to Darien, "Darien, call 911."

Darien appeared near my side. "I'd love to, however I can't quite seem to pick up the phone."

"What?" I started to say.

"Ennui, what happened?" My voice died when I heard Mortiss and saw him stand up from his shattered body. "Ennui, what's happening?"

"Oh fuck, Oh Fuck, OH FUCK. Dementia?!?"

The sound of shattering glass pulled my attention back toward the car. The glaazraak had shattered the back window of the car and was crawling out. "Die creature of Eternia." A reddish yellow ball of energy flew from it and smashed me into the shattered wall. Pain seared across my back fueling the energy boiling inside. Feeding the energy into a blast I slammed a violet ball back at the creature. It howled in agony as the energy shoved it back into the wrecked automobile.

Once again it readied an energy ball as I tapped into the last of the building's electrical system. Violet white light streamed from my hands and etched away the creature pinned to the shattered car. With its last strength it hurled a ball of fire at me. Fire waves of pain leapt from where it touched, forcing howling shrieks from me. Twitching and shuddering I struggled to stay upright and conscious as nerves sizzled in agony. Its screams mingled with mine as I kept burning it. Its screams slowly faded as it smoked and faded away. Silence fell as I dropped to the floor.

Dementia's face swam into view through the tears and shudders. Dimly I hear her talking to Darien, "Hold her head." Cloth was shoved into my mouth. "Don't let her bite her tongue." She leaned closer, "Help me with her. We need to go." Strong hands lifted me and started back toward the train. In the distance I heard sirens.

The world shimmered back into focus as I was placed on Dementia's bed. I tried to speak around my cloth gag but all I could manage were sharp "Hun, hun" sounds. Spasms still wracked my body. Dementia held me to keep me from flopping off the edge. Her hand brushed the gashes in my back causing me to arch even harder up from the bed. "Darien, help hold her. I need to check her back."

"Is she going to be alright?" Darien asked.

The shudders increased without the bed to strain against. Dementia was carefully pulling cloth away when I heard her stop and gasp. Instantly her hands were gone as she said, "Goddess, forgive me. It was my fault. I never should have let her..."

"Hush Dementia, get up and sit down. You know I neither want nor require abasement," a quiet but powerful voice spoke from the passageway. Footsteps slowly came toward the bed. "Greetings child. I felt I should come and see you."

I tried to speak again but still couldn't. "I am here to heal you in thanks for the presence of mind you exhibited in the club. You sought to defend always. Resorting to destruction only as a last choice. Many would have not been able to do that." She reached out and softly touched my back. The pain and convulsions fled before a warm tingly rush of sensation. Within moments I relaxed onto the bed.

A tall woman in a flowing dark dress swam into focus first. She was bending over me. Her face was shrouded in shifting shadow. Her form flickered and changed. Just when I thought I knew what she looked like, she'd look like something else again. Power flowed off her in waves, "Oh god, you're...you're..."

"Goddess actually. It's ok. You will be fine in a few minutes. There is something I want you to do. I want you to believe with all your heart that none of this is your fault. For truly, none of it is. You and the others were just in the wrong place." Her words called forth the feelings that were building in the back of my thoughts. She was right. I was beginning to blame myself since it had been my idea to come.

She leaned back up and spoke to the room "That actually goes for all of you. You all had the misfortune to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time, when a random act of the universe occurred. What happened has been building for millennia on countless different worlds. If it hadn't been triggered here, it would have happened elsewhere." She looked around the room and continued, "Ennui, if you're up to moving we should get more comfortable, maybe the sitting room? I would like to talk to all of you before i leave."

Once we were settled the Lady continued, "I would like each of you to describe in exact detail what you saw this evening. Then I will explain to the two gentlemen what has happened to them and what they may choose next. Perhaps you should start." She said to Darien.

"Well at first I didn't think much of the crowd outside. It doesn't happen often, usually only when a club night is close to a major church event. Tonight though they gathered earlier than usual and there was a bigger crowd. Otherwise, since I live upstairs, I didn't notice too much except people coming in were more freaked than usual."

Mortiss took up where Darien left off. "I arrived fifteen minutes before the doors opened, about the usual time for my shift, and the crowd was quite large. What I noticed right away was they were chanting more vicious things than usual. Most of the time its 'Jesus loves you', 'don't go in', and things like that. Tonight it was more the 'you're going to hell', 'loosing your soul' kinds of things. Most of the action centered around one older woman. Where ever she was in the crowd the calls were more strident and nasty. The people further away from her seemed a bit less certain, more like they were disoriented or confused in some way. Anyway, it was really freaking a lot of the regulars, like Darien noticed as well. The only other really freaky thing I noticed was Ennui doing some weird stuff after she shoved Dementia into the club. Well, then there was the whole car through the wall action. That was really bad."

"When Ennui and I showed up it was like the one woman was able to immediately see us. She targeted me with the worst of the insults, yet inside it was Ennui it went after." Dementia added.

"I can answer that," I replied. "It could taste the flavor of my magic. It's a classic tactic. Kill the sorceress first, then move on to the others."

"How did you know that?" Dementia asked.

I had to laugh at that. "Everyone knows at least one fantasy role player who describes their games in nauseating detail. The one I knew played wizards all the time. I lost count of the lectures I got on magic 'theory'."

"She's absolutely right. What I'm curious about are the spells you cast."

"I'm not entirely sure, Lady. I guess they were guards and wards of some form. They just felt right at the time."

"I figured that. They were quite powerful though. By all rights you should be back in the bedroom almost unconscious after spending that much personal energy."

"Why use personal energy when there is all that electricity in the walls just waiting to do one's bidding?" I tried to keep the self satisfaction out of my voice, but only partially succeeded.

The dark Lady smiled and commented warmly, "Very impressive young lady. Few make that intuitive leap after years of practice. I have not known anyone to make it the first time the magic awakens in them."

"I am so busted. I was playing the sorceress in the game. We were quite a creative group when it came to getting out of things. This one time..."

"Hold on Ennui, I don't think we have time for 'no shit there we were' stories right now," Mortiss interrupted.

"So true young sir. What I feared has happened at last. The balance has been broken. One of the proxy gods has found a way to draw Eternia into their petty squabbles. I am sorry you to had to witness the coming of the storm. Darien and Mortiss I am afraid I have some bad news for you. The two of you died back in the club. That is why Darien couldn't use the phone and why Mortiss saw his own body. You now have a choice. You died in an event that directly effects Eternia and as a result of its existence. Because of this I am honor bound to offer you a chance to join us. You can go on to the afterlife of your choice or you may sign on to the Death City Metro. If you choose this path know that if you die in the service of Eternia it is the Final Death. If you choose instead to go to the afterlife you will return or not as fits the afterlife you have chosen. I can only give you an hour to think about it. When the train arrives in Eternia you must choose either to take a Sacred Unit to the afterlives or to continue into Eternia. You may ask Dementia and Ennui about it if you like." She bowed deeply to each in turn. "I salute you all. You have survived the beginnings of a turmoil the likes of which we have never seen. Good life to you all." Her form shimmered and faded away.

"Dead? What the fuck? What happened to you Ennui? Car crash or something?" Mortiss exclaimed.

"Uh, actually it's one of those things it's considered very rude to ask." I smiled wickedly and added just for his benefit, "You know, like asking if I have my period, stuff like that."

"Ewww, girl stuff, gross. Ok, but dead, damn. There was this new girl coming in tonight and..."

"Yeah, yeah, give it a rest will you? We need to think about what to do next." Darien interrupted. "Although it begs the question of why Ennui was here when she was supposed to be home with her folks."

"Hello, still in the room. Longish story, not really important. More important is that you ask enough to decide your fates in the next half hour say?"

"So what is this Death City about anyway?" As Dementia explained I could see them becoming more thoughtful. Finally as she finished Mortiss asked, "So, where are the good clubs? If there are good clubs I'm in. Darien, how about you?"

"I don't know. The Final Death, that seems, well, awfully final."

"Yeah, but you heard her, it's not very often that it happens before you're ready. So, about the clubs..."

"Well, now that you mention it. There aren't any, yet. Dementia and I were here so I could show her an example. We are going to create the perfect club in Death City! And we could always use the help of those who know the scene. As well as a good bar tender."

"I'm in!" Mortiss answered enthusiastically.

"Ok, I'll try it. I can always change my mind, correct?"

"Up to the time of your final death, yes." Dementia assured him.

"Darien, do you accept the charter of Eternia," Dementia asked formally.

"I accept the charter."

"Mortiss, do you accept the charter of Eternia?"

"I accept the charter."

"Welcome to the roles of Eternia. May you be a credit to yourself and Eternia." As Dementia stopped speaking her face twisted into a rictus of pain. She dropped to the floor screaming. "No, no, ..." Her muscles clenched wrenching her back into a rigid spasm.

I dashed to her and held her close, "Dementia. Hold on. I'm here."

"What the...? What's happening to her?" Mortiss and Darien asked at once.

"Vision. She gets visions of events effecting Eternia."

"Will she be ok?" Darien asked.

"I think so, once it's over, I hope..."

After long minutes the spasm passed and Dementia collapsed into a puddle of limp flesh in my arms. Her eyes opened slowly, not really focusing on anything as she whispered, "Malthasius, we have to get to Malthasius. Allen, someone tell Allen..." Her eyes rolled back in her head and she dropped into unconsciousness.

"Darien, there is a com unit in the drawer near the chair to your left. Could you reach in and hand it to me?" I reached out and took the com from him. Still cradling Dementia I spoke rapidly into it, "Allen? Ennui again. Could you redirect us to a place called Malthasius? Dementia has had another vision seizure and was most emphatic about it."

"Surely. I've heard of her visions."

I handed the com back to Darien and turned to Mortiss. "Could you give me a hand getting her to bed?"

Carefully we lifted Dementia and carried her to the bedroom. I arranged her comfortably on the bed, watched her for a few minutes until I heard Darien call from the passage. "Hey, Ennui, Allen for you."

"I'll be back to check on you," I whispered to Dementia. Then I hurried out. "Allen, what's happening?"

"We're cleared on a straight shot to Malthasius. Should arrive in twenty minutes. Dispatch wants to know what we find in case they have to send support teams."

"Ennui, what's this all about?" Darien asked.

"I don't know. I've only been here for a day longer than you. Dementia said she gets visions from time to time about dangers threatening the recovery teams. Hopefully she will be better by the time we arrive. I'd better go keep an eye on her. There's music in the cabinet near the samovar. Put on something you like." I hurried back to the bed room and sat on the floor by the bed once more. "You know, this is getting to be a bad habit."

"I know," a soft voice answered back. "Could you get me water?"

Quickly I leapt to my feet, strode to the kitchen, filled a glass with water, and hurried back. "Thanks. Are we underway?"

"Yes, arrival in ten to fifteen minutes."

"Good. You'll need to do this for me. Tonight has taken too much... I'm sorry, I know it's been hard on you as well. Anyway, find Lauren, she's in charge, I think. Tell her, 'the basement holds a door. Beware the door. It is not the way. Do not open it.' Can you remember that?"

"Don't open the door in the basement. Got it."

Dementia's head snapped back into her pillow as she hissed, "Fuck, fuck, fuck..." Her head remained smashed back into the pillow for several minutes and then her neck relaxed. "Bad...tell Lauren, 'Get them out, get them out now!' Ennui..." Dementia gasped, grabbing my hand. "Tell.." she slumped back to the bed unconscious once more.

"Ennui, is she ok? We heard yelling..." Darien cried as he and Mortiss charged into the room.

"Another vision. A bad one. I'm not sure if she's ok." I could feel the train slowing to a stop as I explained. "Good, we're arriving. Darien, could you stay with Dementia? Mortiss, come with me. We're looking for someone named Lauren." Without even thinking about it I strode for the door. There was no question in my mind that they would do as I asked.

I opened the door onto a sun baked ruin. Once again shattered buildings stretched off in all directions. This ruin looked like it had been a major population center. Mortiss stopped at the door and stared. "What is this?"

"This is what we do. We recover the created beauty of dead or dying worlds. Come on, you can look later." I led the way down with Mortiss following reluctantly after. It was slow going as we picked our way through piles of crumbled concrete and shattered brick toward a small group of people. They were loading items onto a gently bobbing cart. "Hello. I am Ennui and this is Mortiss. We have some additional information for Lauren. Could you tell us where to find her?" For a moment they just looked at us.

One of the men must have seen something in my eyes because he didn't take time to ask questions, just pointed to a large pile off to the right. "She's about four rubble piles that way. I think she said something about heading down into a basement."

"Thanks." Cold fear clawed up my back as I responded as calmly as I could. As soon as we were a little ways away I started jogging toward the indicated piles. Slipping and sliding on the loose rubble I sent silent thanks to every acrobatics and gymnastics instructor I ever had. I heard Mortiss cursing and swearing behind me as he tried to keep up. I made the mistake of turning to look for him and crashed heavily to the ground. Immediately I was up and moving again. Blood dripped from a long gash on my knee and a jagged chunk of metal protruded from my left hand. I yanked the metal splinter out and staggered on ignoring the pain and slowly dripping blood. It seemed like forever had passed before I reached a deep pit. It appeared to be the one, lights bobbed and flashed in the depths of the long passage and the slope looked recently disturbed.

I half slid, half jumped down the wall of the pit and landed hard on the tiled floor of the partial room. Cursing again I followed the faint light coming from the corridor ahead. Soon I burst into a large storage room just as a woman was reaching for a plain steel door. "Stop! Lauren, wait."

"Who?"

"I'm Ennui. Dementia sent me to tell you not to open that door. That's not the way. Beyond it lies great..." A red blush appeared in the center of the door, halting my words. Rapidly the metal turned cherry red, then white and began to sag. "Lauren, get your people out. Get them out now!" I shrieked as my hands became a blur.

"You heard the woman. Come on people, out of here."

"We haven't found..."

"Later Jeff. Dementia has never been wrong." Lauren pushed people toward the corridor as she went. "Ok Ennui. Time for you to go."

"No, get out. I'll be along as soon as everyone's clear." Lauren hesitated for a moment, then she saw the door sagging and running like thick custard. "We're gone. Get clear yourself."

I fed more energy into the spell and threw it full force at the door. For a moment the viscous liquid solidified, then it began to bubble and melt again. Staggering from exhaustion I stumbled toward the door. Mortiss, who had just reached the base of the pit, raced forward and grabbed me. He half helped and half dragged me up the edge of the pit. At the top I pulled away, spun back to the pit, and wove another pattern in the air. It flew from my out stretched hands and raced to the ceiling of the basement corridor. It exploded in a brilliant magenta flash bringing the ceiling and tons of building down on top of the corridor.

I sank to my knees and toppled onto my side desperately trying to catch my breath. "Lauren," I whispered hoarsely. "Lauren, get your people out of here. That was Dementia's other message."

Lauren stared down at me. "When we get back I owe you a beer." She watched me for a moment longer, then spun to her team. "This mission is over. Grab what we've got and lets go. You," she said, pointing at Mortiss. "I owe her. Don't let anything happen to her."

"Yes ma'am," Mortiss stammered. He reached down and carefully helped me up.

"Don't let go. I can't stand on my own." I gasped. "Mortiss, lets get back."

As rapidly as we could we limped back to Dementia's train. We stepped up onto the back platform just as a tremendous shudder rolled through the ground. Where the basement rubble pile had been a plume of dust and debris fountained upward. As it settled dark twisted beings erupted from the new hole. I dove toward the com, landing hard near it. "Allen, get us out of here." I half shouted into the com.

"With pleasure lady Ennui." The train lurched sharply as Allen applied maximum power to the locomotive. Swiftly the train pulled away from the dark screaming figures.

Mortiss helped me stagger down the passage and into the bedroom. There I dropped to the mattress next to Dementia and fell into exhausted slumber.

I awoke to Dementia saying, "You're right, this is getting to be a bad habit." She gave me the most wonderful smile, "Hey sleepy, Mortiss told me about your little adventure. Remind me not to piss you off. I would let you sleep, however Merris in Dispatch would like to see us before we head down to the city. And I bandaged your knee this time. I would consider it a great personal favor if you would stop getting hurt."

"I'll try. I'm not enjoying the pain very much. That magic shit is a lot harder when there's no local sources of energy. Gods, I thought it was over for a while there."

"You did well from the sounds of it. You've got about five minutes before we hit the station to wake up. In the future, how long would you like when I need to wake you up from exhaustion?"

"Don't? I know, not an option, so five minutes is good. Doesn't give me enough time to become properly resentful." I followed Dementia off the train and across the platform to the entrance to the station. Inside Dementia led the way to a door marked "Dispatch" and knocked.

A young man's face appeared as the door opened a small amount. "Yes?"

"Dementia and Ennui to see Merris."

"Just a minute." The door closed again, only to open a couple of minutes later. "Follow me." He turned and threaded his way past several people staring intently at computer screens. On the far side of the room was a platform with three monitors and a harried looking blonde haired woman. As they approached the young man said, "Merris, they're here."

"Thanks John, and could you bring us a couple of chairs?" She looked at the two in front of her. "Sorry, I never remember the chairs," she apologized as she ran a nervous hand through her hair. "Thanks John. Please, have a seat." Merris studied me as I studied her as well. She looked to be of average height and a bit on the thin side. Her face showed care lines and age, making her look neither old nor young. She was dressed in a faded black T-shirt and dark jeans. She spoke, pulling me out of my inspection, "So, what the Lady has feared has happened then?"

"Yes," Dementia answered. "The dark forces have broken the truce."

"I wish to apologize for interrupting your return journey, however there is something I think is critically important." Merris reached onto her desk and picked up a portable com set. "This links directly to my station and to my assistant's station. Please keep it with you and call us any time you receive a vision. No one expects the two of you to be the response team every time. This will allow us to send help as rapidly as possible when things are going to happen. Now I will let you get some sleep."

We returned to the train and fell back into bed. Immediately we fell asleep, not even waking when Allen uncoupled the locomotive at the carriage yards.

It was late afternoon when we finally awoke again. On the counter in the kitchen was a brief note, "Gone with Allen. He says to meet us at the Adam and Eve when you wake up. Mortiss and Darien."

"Coffeeeee," I mumbled sleepily. "Must make coffee."

"Come sleepy one. We can get excellent coffee at the pub. A shower would be better unless you like the look of disaster victim." I looked down at the stained and torn club outfit I still had on. There was a big tear in the stockings where I had fallen and blood stained the skirt. Dust and dirt streaked the top and bits of concrete clung to my hair. "Damn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring all this back with me." I stopped as I realized my injuries were gone. There should have been a big gash on my knee and a splinter hole in my hand. Fresh pink skin shown through instead. "Uh, how does healing work here?"

"Mostly like in the Realms, why?"

"Um, no reason..." I wondered if the Lady had healed me again, but that had seemed like a one time only deal. I gave a brief shake of my head and said, "Shower good." Twenty minutes later I was dressed and ready to go.

"You know, you could stay with me for a while. Until we find the club and all..." Dementia started hesitantly as we walked.

"Yesterday it sounded like you couldn't wait to get your space back."

"Yeah, well that was before you proved how useful you were. And before I had so many of those visions in one stretch. I kind of like knowing there's someone to drag me off the floor when I collapse."

"I guess I could... Wasn't like I had anything in mind yet." I replied slowly. "Sure, why not. That Merris person's intense."

"Nice change of subject..."

"I know, but I was just thinking about last night and her stopping us for that kind of weird request. She could have just waited, couldn't she?"

"Yeah, but she is head of dispatch, which means every train outside the Portal is her responsibility. Dispatch assigns missions, figures out train requirements, and sets crew needs. That information is then sent to the locomotive and carriage yards for train assembly and to Central Station for crew assignments. I can see where she'd want word of a threat to her trains as soon as it was available. Especially now that we aren't as safe as we used to be." We finished the walk in silence. Dementia seemed lost in thought and I was trying to make sense of everything that had happened since I first boarded her train.

At the pub the guys were already in animated conversation with Allen and a couple of others. Darien looked up and waved us over, "Ennui, Dementia, this is Gordon and Martin from Temple Heath. We've just been talking about this place. You guys sleep ok? We were going to wake you but you looked too cute zonked out like you were."

"Yeah, that's right. Pick on the exhausted. All you did was watch Dementia sleep. Mortiss gets some slack, but not you."

"I'm wounded. And after you said all those nice things about me earlier."

"Earlier I was trying to talk you down on drink prices." Jo arrived while I was teasing Darien.

"Hey, what can I bring you?"

"Coffee, must have coffee." unable to resist theatrics I dropped to my knees on the floor and looked up at Jo hopefully, "and coffee for Dementia as well."

"Any food? The specials are pub burgers or fish and chips."

"Pub burger please," was my response.

"Fish and chips for me," Dementia added. As Jo walked away she asked, "So are these guys getting you filled in on how things work around here?"

"That we are, and we were talking about the club you two want to start. Sounds like there are quite a few people here that would be interested. You know, I've seen a few in New York when I was an intern there. If you'd like my help with layouts..." Darien responded.

"That'd be great!" I enthused. "You know it's really weird. I saw you guys die and I should be grieving, yet here we all are having coffee. This really fucks with the way I've always known things to work."

"Yeah, well imagine it from our side. At least we know there's an afterlife now. But it really sucks that we can't go back and tell anyone about it."

"You get used to it. Trust me." Dementia replied as Allen nodded in agreement. "Normally you've been in Eternia a while though before you are on a mission to collect a new recruit. It really brings it all home. Although you can go back, sort of. You can return to the Realms on missions however you will look different enough that no one would recognize you. And typically you aren't sent to places where you lived. It's just cruel to inflict that on people."

"Um, yeah, I guess I can see that... So, you know, this is a little too creepy right now. What should we do next?" Mortiss interjected.

"Well Dementia and I were going to get food and then, I don't know, maybe look for club space. You guys need to look for places to stay I would think."

"I was just telling the guys they can possibly get rooms here for a few days anyway," Allen added.

"I'm wondering how that works, Dementia and I haven't had much chance to talk about it."

"Well, typically you just find somewhere were you want to stay. It's as simple and complicated as that. Dementia chose to live in a train car and there are quite a few mission loving people that do the same. Others chose to live in houses or apartments or on the street..."

"On the street!?" That one really surprised me.

"Yeah, on the street. This is a place of healing for many people. You end up finding the places that make you feel the most comfortable. There are people that don't like the closed in feeling of buildings," Allen explained. "Most of us find there is a place somewhere in Eternia that draws us in. That is usually how you find where you will stay. I work at Temple Heath, so I live in one of the houses nearby. The owners of this pub live upstairs and make their spare rooms available for new arrivals on an as needed basis."

"We could all hunt club space then. Sounds like the where to live question usually sorts itself out. The club issue seems like it will require more effort. I'll be right back after I see if Mortiss and I can stay here." Darien stood and was about to walk to the bar when Jo arrived back with food and coffee. "Jo, would it be possible for Mortiss and I to stay here for a few days? Allen said you might have a room or two we could have for a little bit."

"I think so. I'll check with my da and see."

"Do you know of any old warehouse type buildings around here?" Mortiss asked.

"Warehouses? Sure, over by the rail yards."

"I was thinking more ones that weren't in use any more. Ones that could be turned into something else rather than active ones."

Jo looked thoughtful for a few moments, "I think there are some across the river. You could go check. I'll let you know about rooms as soon as I take care of a couple of other orders." She headed away, returning five minutes later with the answer that there was one room the guys could share.

Dementia and I finished our food and then we headed back out into the late afternoon. Allen and the other two from Temple Heath headed back toward the yards as Darien and Mortiss joined us in heading toward the river.

Once across the river we found ourselves in a more industrialized section of town. There were large sections of warehouses and factories. Some sections were bustling with activity while others had fallen into disuse. Prowling around the side streets we found breweries, bakeries, slaughter houses, and green grocers, all the support services for a thriving city but nothing that called to us as the future club we wanted to build.

One section of bustling activity led to another to another. We had just about given up hope when Darien spotted an overgrown cobbled way leading toward the river. Dementia was about to move on until I pulled her down it. "Hey, you never know...and this one feels promising." The street headed straight down toward the river, crossing the city loop and ending at the riverbank. To the left and just this side of the tracks was a run down brick building. Two corner towers poked up above it on the street side to form a partial fourth floor. In faded letters across the front were the words "Feldstadt Brewing and Malting".

Walking around it we saw an overgrown cart yard and a platform next to the rail line. In the back the building extended as a two story section and then dropped to a one story section, making it three times as big as it had looked from the front.

I leapt up onto the rail platform and strode purposefully to the smaller personnel door. I hauled it open and stepped in. The smell of old grain and brewing wafted over me. For a moment I paused and just savored the smell. Surprised that it didn't smell musty I walked deeper into the building. Dust motes danced in the late afternoon sunlight as I crossed the loading area and down a passage toward the front of the building. Ahead of me light streamed in through the front windows showing the holes in the floor where vast round tanks had once crouched. Overhead pipe clips and fittings still told of a vast network of plumbing. The smell of cooked grains and fermentation wafted up out of the dark pits.

So lost in thought was I that I jumped when Mortiss spoke from behind me."We should get some lights. Then we can check out the inner areas as well."

"Wow, this is cool!" Darien added. "We could really make this place work. What do you think it was?"

"Well the sign on the building sort of makes me think it might have been a brewery. Its pretty wild how it looks like the abandoned one near my neighborhood. Kind of the same as inside too. A few of us skipped classes one day and broke in before a bunch of developers refurbished it. Now it's offices and storage spaces. It had the same openings and piping things happening. Same basic smells too," I answered from a distracted haze.

"Damn, too bad it wasn't still set up."

"Darien, would you want to run it?" Mortiss asked.

"Well, no. I just thought...anyway awfully convenient it being here like this."

"Convenient, yes, maybe, or maybe it's here because we wanted it to be here. That's the way you said it worked wasn't it Dementia?"

"Yes, that is often the way of it. The four of us wanting it badly enough could have called it here. That would explain why it looks like something Ennui remembers."

"Trippy. In that case maybe all we need is someone who knows electricity to turn on the lights," Darien added. "Maybe Allen knows someone. I'll ask him tonight. He was saying a lot of the Temple Heath people hang out at the Adam and Eve every night."

"I think that would be very likely actually."

"I say we head back, ask someone to help with the lights, and then we begin planning," I recommended. We made our way back to the loading area and out into the fading daylight.

"What's to keep someone else from hijacking it?"

"Be serious Mortiss, if someone had wanted it they would already have it. I think this is ours. I think Ennui's right. We called it."

We walked the rest of the way back in silence. I was lost in thoughts of how to turn the brewery into a club. Various floor plans flitted through my mind. The others seemed to be lost in thoughts of their own as well. At the Adam and Eve Darien made his way to the lower section of the pub and eased through the crowd to a large table in the center of the room. Spotting Allen he dodged through the crowd until he was near him. Just as he bent to talk Bart spotted Dementia and I. "Hey girls. Come to join us?" The conversations at the table slowed as everyone looked up to see who Bart was talking to.

"I guess. We came to talk to Allen."

"That's fine. Sit, join us, have some dinner and talk to Allen," he made quick introductions around the table not really noticing that I had glazed over by the end of them.

"I won't remember any of them," I whispered to Dementia.

"That's ok. You aren't really expected to." Dementia whispered back. The conversations at the table returned to whatever they had been before our approach.

I glanced toward Darien and found him in deep conversation with Allen. "Hopefully that's a good sign!"

"So, I heard the trip wasn't as quiet as it should have been." Bart prompted quietly.

"Allen been telling?"

"He mentioned there was trouble. Something about deaths..."

"Should we be talking of this here?" I asked.

"This isn't the Realms. That which effects us all often gets brought up when it needs to be," Bart answered gently. "It should be ok, otherwise the Lady would have told you not to talk of it." He laughed softly at my expression. "She always appears when there is a threat to her own."

"She believes the truce has been broken," Dementia replied. "We escaped, however our two new companions died in the disagreements. Since they were killed in an Eternia related event they were given the choice to join us. Then there was a second attack on Lauren's party. We were able to warn them in time, however this time it was an actual attack rather than a scare attempt."

Bart looked thoughtful. "I see. I guess it had to happen sometime. It is a pity, but not unexpected. We should accept the moments outside the storm as the blessings they are then." He looked down at his drink for a few minutes, shook his head slightly, then launched back into the technical conversation flowing across the table.

"Ennui, Dementia, what can I get you?"

"Jo, don't you ever get a break?"

"Sometimes. I'm working double today because Becka is out on a mission. I should be back on evenings only tomorrow. You guys have any luck with warehouses?"

I launched into an excited description of their afternoon find. "Sounds good. I guess I never was too sure what was over there other than a few of our suppliers. Skull and Bones Brewing Company, Prelate Breads and Pastries and Argonath Green Grocers. There's some heavy industry as well isn't there?"

"Most of it has moved out to the stretch between Death City and Goth City. I think there's some small industry left in town. Enough that we still run the local loop trains," Bart answered. "So what were you looking to do with this dream building? I'm not quite sure from your descriptions."

"Create a club where you can go and listen to loud music and dance. Something it seems is missing in town. Maybe create some apartments above it for living. Seems like it could be a great place to get together and unwind after the missions people are going on."

"Good luck with it then. Some of my guys might be interested as well."

"Ennui! Allen's good with electricity. He says he can come with us in the morning and see if we can get things back on." Darien shouted across the table.

"Not to rush you too much but I'd like to get your orders so I can move on?"

"Uh, sorry Jo." We proceeded to order food and drink then they returned to listening to the conversations around the table.

It was quite late when Dementia and I stepped out into the night. We swayed our way back to Dementia's coach and fell into bed. In the morning we headed back to the pub to meet up with the guys. After a large breakfast we guided Allen to the old brewery. He set down the bag he was carrying and extracted a large portable lamp. Inside he looked around at the loading area before heading off into the gloom at the back of the building. Searching through several rooms he finally found the narrow stairway he seemed to be looking for. Confidently he strode down into the basements. Periodically looking at the tangle of conduits and piping overhead he navigated his way to a large metal door. Blazoned on it was the standard High Voltage warning signs. With a grin he pulled open the door and stepped into the utility section. It took him very little time to find the main panel and reset the switches. Immediately the bare overhead bulbs sprang to life, searing the eyes of our small group. "Told you I could find it."

"Totally awesome Allen." Darien praised as he slapped Allen on the back. "Now let's check this out for real."

We spent the rest of the day prowling from floor to floor and room to room in the building. The large basement room under the tall section of the building would become the dance floor. The holes in the main floor would be left but roped off to allow people in the restaurant and bar to see the dance floor below. The floors above and the office section would become apartments of various sizes. The larger of the two towers was claimed by Dementia and I for our rooms. The loading area and some of the back rooms would become storage and kitchen facilities. At last we came to the most important decision to be made. The decision of what to name the club.

Arguments flew thick and fast as we walked back to the pub for dinner. The arguments were still raging as we entered the pub and hunted a table. Jo looked up as we passed, still deep into another shouting match. "Gods, you sound like a bunch of cats yowling along the back fence. What are you trying to figure out anyway?"

"We need a good name for a gothic, industrial style club. We can't seem to come to any agreement."

"Wait, I've got another one..." Mortiss started as everyone else groaned. "Well, part of one anyway." He stopped talking as the rest of us kept going.

"Well, were you going to tell us or not?" Dementia snapped.

"I didn't think you wanted me to."

"Damn it man, just out with it," growled Darien.

"It should have Cathouse in it. Thanks for the great idea Jo."

"Cathouse? That's..."

Darien looked uncertain and started to say something before I stepped in over him. "That's great. I've got it. I've got it. How about Devil's Cathouse?"

Darien and Mortiss stopped in mid sentence. Dementia looked thoughtful for a second before she laughed and said, "Wonderful! Devil's Cathouse it is!"

"But doesn't that imply, you know, like a brothel or something? Doesn't seem a very girl friendly kind of name," Darien said, shocked.

"I disagree. It combines a nice aura of bad girl and the levels of the abyss. We could trick it out like some sort of low class brothel and really have fun with it. It's not like this place would put up with or need a real brothel."

"We start building on it tomorrow!" Dementia exclaimed. "Allen, is Bart the one to talk to if we need to move local freight? I'm thinking we can get some of the stuff we want from the pool of rescued items. Most of that ends up in the Lower City."

"Bart should be able to set it up. I'd like to help too. I can ask for local loop duties, that way I will have plenty of time available."

"How about bands? You think there'd be any locally?" I asked.

"Bands? I haven't heard of any here that would fit the theme. We'd probably have to do DJs, unless you could find a band or get one started."

"Get one started...Now there's a thought. Although if this is like bands in the Realms it's much easier thought of than done. Could you guys ask around when you can and I will as well. I can play a bit of bass..." I added through a blush. It wasn't a total lie, I knew where the notes were. I just wasn't very good. I had started in high school, but had never found a steady enough group to work with.

"Uh, sure. I can't see any of those Temple Heath guys being into it, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask. Maybe they know others though."

"We can ask..." Mortiss began "Though we know fewer people than you, oh veteran of a day longer than us..."

The next day we started work. It was hot, heavy and dusty as we cleared out storage areas and took measurements for plans. By the end of the day we had a fair idea of how the space was arranged. Darien put his engineering training to good use as he produced scale drawings we could use for planning. He also detailed which walls we could take down and which ones were critical to the structure.

The next day we mostly spent going over the diagrams and determining what we wanted to change. It was easy to agree that the club spaces should be as large and open as possible. When we started to determine what it should look like was when the arguments started. Everyone had different ideas of how hard to push the brothel theme. Darien still wasn't comfortable with the idea and was lobbying hard for a mad scientist lair theme instead. The idea had gotten mixed reception.

A week after we began work on the Cathouse Allen lead a foppish looking thin blonde man into the kitchen area where Dementia and I were framing in a wall. He set down the framing pieces he had brought and motioned for the guy to set down his load of one as well. The guy was dressed in fancy stereotypic vampire garb. He had a hawk face, with long wavy blonde hair and light blue eyes. "Ennui, this is..."

"Danny Cleveland, but you can call me Le Mort," He bowed deeply and touched my hand. "I sing and I'm interested to know more about this goth band you want to start."

"Pleased to meet you. I play bass, somewhat. If we get lucky and get a real player you may not have to find out how badly somewhat really is."

Le Mort looked a little nonplussed. "You mean there's no one else yet?"

"Nope. You're the first. So you get to skip the audition part for now anyway. If you know of anyone else looking to play drag them down here and we can see what this will turn into."

"Sure, right." He started to continue but stopped himself. "Sure, let me know as well when you find others. Tom can get a message to me."

Two days later another person showed up shortly before nightfall. She was average height, solidly built with wavy dark brown hair, brown eyes and a rather plain face. She had followed Dementia in with a box of tile. She set her load down where Dementia had set hers, all without a word. Dementia introduced her, "Ennui, this is Audrey. She's asking about the band."

"Welcome! I guess the first question is what do you play?"

"Drums mostly, although I can do a wide variety of percussion kinds of things. What talents do you have so far?"

"Someone who says he sings and myself who kind of plays bass. Maybe we should get together soon and see what we can do."

"I'm available just about any time as long as I can get a day's warning. So just let me know. You can leave a message with Jo at the Adam and Eve or stop by where I work. I'm at the Skull and Bones Brewing Company just up the street a couple of blocks. We supply the Adam and Eve with most of their beers."

"Cool! What do you do at the brewery?"

"Brew mistress."

"Way cool! Would you be able to supply us, the Devil's Cathouse that is, as well then?"

"Devil's Cathouse? That one'll get remembered."

"That's one of the hopes, yes."

"So what kind of a theme is this club going to have? The obvious one from the name or something else?"

"Well, so far we were thinking low class victorian brothel, although there's a counter proposal for mad scientist's lair."

"You know it might be cool to combine them. Keep the weirder bits of each."

"Yeah, I could see that. It might bring the argument level down. Besides I always was a sucker for the old mad scientist monster films"

"Sounds really fun. You know, I know someone that does industrial glassware fabrication. His name's Thadeus and he made some of the stuff I needed for the brewery. You might be able to have him create some fancy things for the bar. Maybe some giant chemistry set looking thing to smoke and bubble. It would be a great atmosphere piece." Dementia smiled and nodded as well. The idea rapidly expanded to have the chemistry set piece actually dispense drinks into lab ware themed serving glasses as well.

After four more days I was about ready to tell Le Mort and Audrey that the band was not going to happen. I had just come out of the Cathouse and was starting up the street to Audrey's brewery when two women approached me. One was a medium tall blonde with wild wavy hair and a pleasant face. The other was a slightly shorter, wire thin brunette who spoke as they approached. "We heard from Audrey that you were forming a band. I play electric guitar and sing a bit. Maggie plays keyboards of all types and sizes."

The blonde spoke up, "Beth and I weren't sure we should come by. I mean she's good, but I'm just really average at keys."

I smiled, "That's ok. I'm guessing you're better on keys than I am on bass. We can have some fun and see if this goes anywhere. If we feel good about it we can play the club once we get it open."

Over the next months the Cathouse slowly began to come together. The kitchen, bar, and dance floor bar were first priorities, followed by the apartment partitions. We were going to finish apartments for Dementia, Darien, Mortiss, Allen and I. We figured the rest could wait until we had the club itself ready. Melissa, who worked where rescued items were sorted, was holding back items for the decor and for construction. She had already found the main kitchen equipment and sound system. Once a day Allen would take a small train down and pick up the supplies we needed. Dementia only woke up twice with visions that demanded a call to Merris. In both cases the warning came soon enough to avoid loss of life.

Slowly the band came together as well. We began rehearsing on the dance floor of the Cathouse once the construction had moved on. It gave us a chance to improve our abilities and figure out how we would sound in a large space. A stage was constructed half way between the bar floor and the dance floor to give us an area to perform on. It also provided another path from the bar floor to the dance floor and additional dance space when no live bands were scheduled.

Once the main section and five apartments of the Cathouse were finished everyone moved in. Eagerly Dementia and I moved our personal effects from the rail car to our new apartments. Both of us were looking forward to our own space and some additional room to spread out. Darien and Mortiss had an easier time since any items they had collected they had already stored in their new rooms.

The boys rooms were on the third floor. Dementia and I had split the larger tower on the roof. The smaller tower we had turned into the major set piece for the Cathouse. It was the interior of Dr. Frankenstein's lab, complete with a working lift table. We were quite proud of it and couldn't wait to light it up for a real crowd.

For her personal areas Dementia had chosen decor based around intricate carvings and light, airy constructions. Her doorways were arches formed of intricate designs and traceries. Brightly colored woven rugs covered large sections of the refinished warehouse flooring. Ornate brass work held candles and lights. On windows that faced other buildings she had carved wooden screens set in place to allow air flow but provide privacy.

I had chosen dark and heavy furnishings and wrought iron for decoration and lighting. I found I favored dark rich velvets and heavy brocades for furniture coverings and wall hangings. Most of my floors were the refinished scarred flooring of the original building. In a concession to light I had used lace on the windows rather than going with heavy curtains.

In the interest of more space we decided to create a shared area to contain the bathroom, a small kitchen, and storage space. We also included a door out to the roof so we could go out and watch the sun or the stars. At first we had planned to have heavy privacy doors between the two sections, but when we actually put them in place it felt too closed in. Instead we used heavy curtains on the connecting doorways.

The first night in our new apartments was really strange. After sharing the train carriage for so many months it felt odd to have so much space to rattle around in. I flopped onto the bed and sprawled out. No other body got in my way. It felt so strange I was sure I would lie awake all night. Instead I rolled around a few times to enjoy the oddness of space all to myself and then I drifted to sleep.

Sometime in the night a shriek of terror jerked me awake. Leaping out of bed on my adrenalin rush I dashed through the connecting sections only to collide with Dementia running through her door. I grabbed on to her as much to keep from falling as to support her. Slowly I lowered her to the floor as she began to shake in my arms. "Oh gods, oh gods..." Dementia sobbed. "It was awful."

"A vision...," I started, looking around for the com unit.

"No, nightmare. It was awful...."

"Shh, I've got you. I've got you. Let's get you back to bed..."

"No, not yet. Please not yet!" she said, panicked.

"How about we go back and sit down then? The floor is awfully hard." I started to help her up but she just shook her head and remained where she was. I settled back down next to her and held her until the shakes stopped. Once she had been still for a few minutes I helped her up and we settled into the pappasan chair near the front windows of her apartment. We stayed close together for almost an hour before Dementia said she felt well enough to try to sleep again. I followed her into her bedroom and settled her into bed. Then I kept watch until Dementia had fallen back into sleep. After assuring myself that she was truly asleep I returned to my own bed and slowly managed to relax back into sleep.

I don't remember much of the dreams that I was having, just that they suddenly turned dark and nasty. Formless shadows stalked me across a broken landscape. Just when I thought I'd escaped another would come around the corner in front of me. Running, I fell through a weak bit of road and ended up in a tunnel. Shadows flowed from the walls, enfolding me. Cold seeped from their touch as life ebbed away and I stopped thinking.

Slowly warmth and a gentle stroking penetrated my darkness. The terror leapt up with returning awareness as I wrapped cold arms around the warmth. The shakes hit then. I couldn't stop shaking. I shook so hard my teeth rattled. In the distance soft words promised safety. I pushed myself toward them at last opening my eyes to see Dementia holding me. She was gently stroking my hair. "P..P..payback," I got out through the ghost of a ghost of a grin.

"Are you all right?" Mutely I shook my head as she continued to hold me.

We stayed like that until the warmth finally penetrated the terror and I could move again. "Chasing me. Formless things chasing me, wanting to tear at me, feed off me. Goddess, it was so real, so real..."

"I've got you. I won't let it get you." Carefully Dementia eased us back down onto the bed. She held me until the blood red light of morning peeped through the curtains. She continued to hold me until the full light of morning had chased most of the shadows from the room. "Would you like coffee?"

I nodded, "And maybe an Adam and Eve breakfast as well..."

"Shall I go get it or would you like to come along?"

"I...I think I'm better. I'd like to come along."

"By ourselves or do you want to invite the guys along as well?"

"By ourselves I think," I answered as I pulled on clothes. I followed Dementia to her place and waited for her to dress as well. Ten minutes later we were out in the late morning light and on our way to the pub.

Once we were seated and had food in front of us I said slowly, "I hope last night was a one time only bad deal. Once was way too many times for me. Remind me to never say anything about your visions, just in case I already have..."

"I'll remind you, but you haven't yet. I agree, I hope that's it." We finished our food and returned to the Cathouse to spend another day building additional apartments. That afternoon curiosity finally prompted me to ask, "Did you guys sleep ok?"

"That's an odd question...but yes I did anyway, Mortiss?"

"Fine, I guess. I have a bit of trouble when I'm first in a new place, but other than that, ok. Why?"

"No strange dreams or anything?" I prompted slowly.

"No, not that I remember. Again, why?"

"We both had terrible nightmares last night. I guess I was kind of wondering if maybe the building had weird energies or something..." God, that sounded decidedly new-agey.

"Weird energies?" Darien asked. "No, nothing like that. Odd creaking noises once or twice, but that was it." I let the conversation slide back to construction topics for the rest of the day.

Late in the evening we once more retired to bed. Once again about an hour after sleep took us Dementia awoke shrieking. I dashed in and pulled her into a close hug. "Shit, shit, shit. I guess it wasn't one time only..." she said as wrapped her arms around me as well.

"Let's try something, I'll stay in your room a while tonight and see if that helps. Tomorrow maybe we should try sleeping somewhere else and see if it is the building. You know how guys can be, sometimes they just aren't all that sensitive."

"Ok." I slipped out of the bed and sat down on the floor like I had in the train car at first. Immediately Dementia patted the bed, "Oh no you don't. I want you to be comfortable as well." I gave a crooked smile and climbed in beside her.

"Just like old times. Sleep well." We drifted off and slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

"Well, well, well...interesting..." Dementia commented the next morning over coffee. "Building or proximity do you think? Or maybe total random coincidence."

"Maybe tonight we see if we can get rooms at the Adam and Eve? See if it's location..."

The night found us at the Adam and Eve asking Jo for rooms for the night. We explained the situation first to Jo and then to her father. Once we had they quickly arranged everything for us. We spent a great time drinking and talking to the Temple Heath crowd then headed up to the rooms. Sleep once again came slowly, only to be shattered as I jolted awake shaking in terror. Once Dementia was close to me nothing troubled our sleep for the rest of the night.

Sitting over coffee the next morning we apologized once more to Jo and her father for the disturbances during the night. Then we returned to staring moodily into our cups. "So, looks like we have nightmares if we sleep too far apart."

"What's really fucked up with this is I had the occasional vision before you arrived, but never did I have the nightmares."

Dementia's words brought me sadness, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

Dementia reached a hand out and placed it over mine, "It's not your fault. That just doesn't make sense. Something is changing. I've had kind of pre-vision feelings like that."

"What do you mean, pre-visions?"

"I get two kinds of things. I get the full visions like you saw the first night. In those I see what's going to happen with greater or lesser time between vision and events. Then I get feelings, kind of like shivers or resonances... It's really hard to explain those. It's more of just a sense of danger or fear or happiness... Just a strong feeling of what types of emotions will be strongest for a given event. What I feel right now is a sense of dread and anticipation. Something is changing but I'm not even sure the Lady really knows how it's going to be yet. Sometimes it feels really near, other times it feels like we have some time yet."

"Damn. I'll stick with what nightmares I get. That's just too creepy." We sat in silence for a bit and then I added softly, "I'm sorry I'm not, you know, interested..."

"It's ok. You're the best friend I've had and that is much more important than the other for me right now. We should get back to work on the club. We open in a few days. I have a question for you. The band is sounding really good. Did you want to play the opening? It'd certainly be more memorable than a DJ open..."

"I don't know. I'll ask the others at practice tomorrow. Guess we'd need to finally decide on a name though. That's been going as slowly as when we tried to name the club. We can't reach any sort of agreement."

The band and I were arguing on the stage about band names again when Darien walked by. He stopped to listen for a few minutes and then shouted up at us, "Why don't you call yourselves Love's Bitch, since all you do is bitch about things anyway..."

"But what's love got to do with it then?"

"Supposedly people play music cause they love it, right?"

"Go back to work," Le Mort shouted down at him.

"No, wait. I kind of like it," Audrey commented slowly. "Reminds me of a line from something, but I can't quite place it."

"It is memorable, isn't it?" Beth added.

"Well I think it sucks. It sounds too much like a chick thing," Le Mort pouted.

"Awww, wittle Mortie got a problem with chicks?" Maggie taunted. "Seems like this would be any guy's fantasy, four girls, one guy, and loud music..."

"Maybe, if any of you were interested..."

"We'd have a better chance of that if you weren't hitting on us every time we moved. Desperation is such an incredible turn off," I tossed back.

"It's just you're all so damn hot. I can't help myself."

"All the more reason to open the club as a band. Mortie will have plenty of girls to swoon over him," Audrey added.

"Does that still work?" I asked.

"Hell, I don't know. But it sounds good anyway," Audrey replied.

"So, we have another name on the floor. All those that can live with Love's Bitch, raise your hands," I called as I raised my hand. Audrey and Beth immediately raised theirs as well. Maggie thought for a moment and slowly raised her hand. We turned to look at Le Mort.

He stared back at us for a few minutes then slowly raised his hand as well. "I guess I can live with it..."

"All right then! I'll let Dementia know later. So, next question, do we open for the club?"

"Hell yes! Anything for a chance at women."

"Mortie, you are such a pig," Maggie commented fondly.

"But I'm the band's pig," Le Mort fired back.

"Good. I think this will be good. Now shall we run through the set list again? Dementia wants to open next friday night. That only gives us eight more days of practice."

As practice wound to a close Belladonna looked up from her keyboard and asked, "What are we going to wear?"

"What?" I asked.

"What are we going to wear. We're kind of a goth band opening for a new club. It wouldn't be right to look like this." She motioned to the everyday wear we all had on. "We need a theme or at least some sort of costume ideas. And while we're at it we should have names that work better than our street names, well at least Audrey, Maggie, and I should. Ennui and Le Mort have that covered already."

"I do a mean cat morph. I did it for a theatrical makeup class and liked it so much I would do it once in a while to keep my hand in," Audrey replied. "Let's see, goth band, Love's Bitch, I like the name Nightshade, a kind of deadly flower..."

"Proper Vampire is my look," Le Mort replied hautily.

"I always liked the Bride of Frankenstein look myself," I tossed in.

"Me too," added Beth and Maggie almost as one.

"We have Ennui, Nightshade and Le Mort, I can be Belladonna. That just leaves you sweetie," Beth added looking at Maggie.

"How about what you get as one of the side effects of poison, Nausea?" Maggie said mischievously.

"Cool, we have names and a concept! The club theme is mad scientist's castle meets low class brothel so a few props and we fit right in."

The finishing touches of the club rapidly came together during the last week. Thadeus delivered two elaborate glass contraptions for the upper and lower bars. When turned on they smoked and bubbled like a demented scientist's dream. Attached at various points were tear drop shaped vessels for holding liquors of various types. Carefully he explained to Dementia and I the connections to each section. After a couple of hours practice and copious notes we felt we could assemble drinks from the glass monstrosities. Or at least we believed that through the alcohol haze of too many samples.

Wall decorations, heavy curtains, colored lighting, sound system components, and the other trappings arrived during the final days. Dementia and I spent most of our time assigning locations and arranging the trappings.

Darien and Dementia put the last pieces in place just before the time scheduled for first opening. The results were more than we had hoped for. In a crazy symphony of sights and subliminal sounds we had successfully melded our concepts into a unified theme.

Back stage we were five very nervous musicians waiting for Dementia to say a few opening words to the first of the patrons and then announce us. True to her word Audrey, (Nightshade), was almost unrecognizable in a pink wife beater top, black leather pants and cat morph makeup. From any distance farther than two feet she looked like an anthropomorphic cat, down to the elongated muzzle and fur. Beth, (Belladonna), was resplendent in a white bridal gown with neck and arm stitches. Greenish white face paint and heavy purple lipstick added to the almost dead look. Her blonde hair was left in tangles and dreads. Maggie, (Nausea), had her curly dark hair even more tangled and wild than usual. She was wearing a tight fitting pink scoop neck dress. The long skirt of it came half way down her heavy black boots. I had chosen spider web stockings under a black velvet short dress with a blood red crop top and long tailed tuxedo coat. Mid calf black boots, greyish white makeup and stitch marks completed the look. Le Mort was almost disappointingly ordinary in his victorian gentleman vampire clothing.

Dementia walked out onto the stage and surveyed the room. The crowd she had hoped for was not there, however the empty space wasn't either. She had hoped for a couple of hundred people to mostly fill the dance area. Instead there were forty to fifty people milling about. Quickly she welcomed them to the club and then said, "And now, it is with great pride that I present to you the Devil's Cathouse own band, Love's Bitch."

We walked nervously out onto the stage and assumed our usual spots. After almost dropping her sticks Nightshade beat out the tempo for our first piece. We played it almost flawlessly without any sign of life. The crowd reacted with mixed enthusiasm. For the first set we played well but mechanically. We were frozen in place by nervousness. By the end of the first set I was ready to break and run for it. I could see the others were feeling the same way.

Back stage Nightshade said what we were all feeling, "We look like marionettes when the puppeteers go home. We have to liven it up or we'll completely loose the crowd."

Grimly I nodded. The others glanced at each other and shrugged. After the fifteen minute break we drew deep breaths and stepped onto the stage once more. The set started as wooden as the last. In desperation I picked one of the rowdy drinking songs and tried to remember all the bad band videos I'd seen. Calling on those images I started to prance and strut around the stage. Clinging to the image I seductively strutted to the edge of the stage and shouted out to the crowd, "How does a bitch get a drink in this place?"

Quickly a man down front reached up and handed me a beaker of beer. "Like this!" He yelled back. I drank it with exaggerated motions and swaggered back toward Nausea and her keyboards. Slamming the last of the beer I mock slammed it onto the top keyboard like it was a bar and mimed asking for another. Nausea grinned and mimed a quick beer pull. It started to break the ice. I launched myself into prancing around the stage and dancing up to Belladonna and Nausea.

Between songs I dashed into the back and emerged with a bedraggled rose which I presented to Nightshade on my way by. Nightshade grabbed it and carefully clamped her teeth around it.

During one of Belladonna's solos I grabbed Nausea and danced her around the stage. As we danced I mimed all the bad pickup actions I could think of. The crowd was in stitches as we slammed into the final bars of the song.

I was reaching for my bass when Nausea started a quirky rendition of the wedding march using the carillon bell setting of her keys. Immediately I motioned for Nightshade to join me. We marched toward the front of the stage where Belladonna had assumed the solemn pose of the preacher. When she mimed a benediction Nightshade and I mimed an exaggerated wedding kiss. The crowd howled as we grabbed our instruments and launched into an up tempo dance number.

During the song I danced toward Le Mort seeking to draw him into something. The set, distant look he wore diverted me toward Nausea instead. The rest of the second set passed in a haze of music and crazy antics.

By the end of the evening everyone except Le Mort had loosened up. The applause was deafening after our last song. When it didn't die back down we returned to the stage for a hasty encore. Not having prepared anything we played one of the first set songs that we really liked. It snapped into place like it never had before.

When we finally left the stage after playing two more first set songs Darien launched into a CD that kept the general tone of the music going. As the rest of the band headed for the back I strode boldly to the front of the stage and leapt out into the crowd. I was prepared to land and tumble but the crowd had other ideas. They grabbed me out of the air and set me gently on my feet. Wading through the crowd with a jaunty grin I made my way to the bar where Mortiss was serving out drinks. I settled myself onto a stool and watched the crowd as the music continued to pound.

I turned as Nightshade settled onto the stool next to me. "Great idea Ennui! That certainly got better. Thanks for breaking it loose."

"We needed to do something."

"You guys were great! How often do you think you'll play?" Mortiss asked.

"Not sure yet. I guess often enough to keep crowds interested, but not so often as to become boring. I don't know. The band has talk about it."

"You two want something?"

"Hungarian Bull's Blood for me," I answered.

Nightshade scanned the special drinks board and selected Blood Wine. Mortiss walked over to the glassware apparatus and twisted several valves. Liquids flowed and mixed finally emerging to partially fill an erlenmeyer flask sitting underneath. With a practiced hand he popped a stopper into it and shook the contents as he walked back to Nightshade. "Here you are."

Nightshade picked it up and sipped slowly. "Excellent, thanks. Just the right amount of hot pepper this time."

Mortiss commented,"Good. Dementia and I were tweaking on it again today. Thanks for the concept."

The Cathouse slowly gained popularity over time. Some of the people that came to see what it was about never came again, but enough did that the crowds grew to several hundred through the place on most nights. As I had expected it was mostly the younger crowd that would show up.

As the band became more comfortable on stage our antics got more involved. One night there was a mock wedding between the three of us "brides". Another night Nightshade ran amok through the band and "killed" the "brides" during the wedding. On yet another night Nightshade leapt out into the audience and carefully brought down several volunteers in simulated hunts. I started practicing my acrobatics again and used that as part of my seduction tactics. Dementia almost went ballistic when I wanted to rig a trapeze from the main bar ceiling and use one of the old hoists to lower myself onto the stage. In the end we compromised and extended a platform over to where the lab exhibit was. We removed part of the main floor and moved the setting down to the new platform From then on we had full access to the lift bed and all the other props for our show.

The only sticking point with the band was Le Mort. Constantly I would try to draw him into the antics but he steadfastly refused. He also refused to broaden our musical repertoire. That was far worse than the refusal to play along.

Several months after we opened I was complaining to Dementia for the millionth time, "You know, I'm getting irritated with aspects of this band."

"I've kind of noticed. Same things? You guys do know that you are sounding great and the theatrics are going over extremely well, don't you?"

"Yeah, we mostly can tell. It's just the same old thing, Le Mort. He's not getting the adoration from the women in the crowd he craves and he's been hitting on the rest of us."

"Not unexpected. You are all hot. From a platonic point of view of course," Dementia remarked with a large grin.

"Of course," I smiled back. My grin rapidly faded as I continued, "He's just so slimy. God, yuck! Not someone I'd want to go to bed with. I don't know Audrey's story, but the other two have each other and aren't interested at all."

"Audrey? Oh, right, Nightshade. In that makeup I forget she's our beer connection during the day. Have you tried to tell him that you aren't interested?"

I favored her with a 'Duh' look.

"Still not taking the hint is he? There's not much more you can do short of replacing him."

"That's so tempting, I'm just not sure how I'd find a replacement." I continued to rant, "Although if we could find a better singer I'd replace him in an instant. He either isn't very good or doesn't want to get better. I mean we all weren't that good to start, but he can't keep up with the places we want to go. I've lost count of how many times he's whined back stage about our ridiculous behavior and how we are 'ruining our image'. As if being a goth band at a place called the Devil's Cathouse is a reason to lodge sticks up our asses. This isn't like playing the Grand Opera House or something. Besides the antics are half the fun."

"Can't go where you want to go musically? I think you're doing fine."

"Yeah, we're belting it out and getting the dance beats and all so the crowd is happy. We just want to try some different beats and maybe some stuff with more dynamics and musical interest. Le Mort can't handle the rhythms and he has one singing style, full out."

"He'll probably leave on his own if you keep going. It seems like his issue with the stage fun will drive him out if nothing else does."

"Yeah, that's what we've kind of decided. It's just frustrating us because we have to table some interesting things."

"You can always do a set where he's back stage or you can come in on another night as a different group, just the four of you. I could set that up pretty easily."

"It might come to that. Right now I don't think I want to push it that hard."

"Ah, ok...let me know if you want me to open up another night. You still wound up from practice tonight or you ready to try and sleep?"

"Guess I can sleep now. Thanks for letting me rant a bit."

"No problem, it's one thing a friend is for. 'Night."

I woke to a violent kick as Dementia launched herself out of bed. She raced to her dresser and began pawing through the drawers. "Dementia, what is it? What are you looking for?"

"The com. I need the com from Merris. Quickly. We must warn her...vision, death..."

I had almost forgotten what this was like as I scrambled across the bed and pulled open the top draw on her woven wicker night stand. I hauled out the com unit and called, "Here it is."

Dementia rushed back, grabbed the com, and pressed the call command. "Merris," came the clipped reply.

"Team on the flooded world. There will be an incursion. From above, aquatics. Targeting lead submersible." Dementia frowned in concentration, "Wait, more...they want thing, item, technology. Large, boxy, big wires around it. Must not get...could get to us..." Dementia's voice faded as she passed out onto the bed.

"Dementia? Dementia?" Merris called from the com.

I picked it up and spoke, "That's all. She passed out."

"DAMN!" Merris hissed. "Ennui?"

"Yes."

"Tell her I'll try. I'll tell Bart to have Allen stand by in case she needs to go there. Her train will be at Central Station if she needs it."

"I'll tell her. Wait, Central Station? You could send them here to the Cathouse siding."

Dementia stirred slowly a few minutes later, "Did I get her the warning in time?"

"I think so. Does that woman ever sleep?"

"I've heard she does, but I couldn't say. Every time I've dealt with Portal Station she's been awake."

"She says she'll have your train ready if the visions need you to go."

The com buzzed, stopping me from continuing. I gave it a puzzled look and switched it back on. "Yes?"

"Ennui, good," Merris's voice came through the connection. " I forgot to ask you where the Cathouse is. I've heard of it but..."

"It's on the old city loop. Allen knows where it is."

"Thanks, I'll tell him. Now I need to ask Dementia to do something for me. Is she awake yet?"

I looked questioningly at Dementia and mouthed, "Are you awake yet?" Dementia shrugged slightly and nodded. "Yes she is, Merris." Silently I handed the com to her then slid to a position where I could listen in. Dementia smiled her consent as she noticed.

"Merris, to what do I owe this?"

"Dementia, you are one of the best for picking up new recruits. I have another one. He showed up once I sent your warning to Archinault One. Same world as Ennui, different place though. He will die doing a stupid stunt to impress a girl. Allen will have the location details by the time your train reaches the Cathouse siding if you accept. Transit time will be a day and a half each way. I can't get you anything shorter because of the Archinault One routings."

Dementia paused for several moments before reluctantly agreeing. "Thanks Dementia. I'm glad I have you available."

Dementia shut down the com and turned to me. "She's glad she has me. She'd find someone else pretty quickly if she had to."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Merris knows I am good at bringing in new recruits. She says I'm a calming influence, so she wants me to go and get another one. Do you think the guys can handle the club for a few days? Transit time will be over a day and I really don't need nightmares..."

I pretended to think to cover my concern. "I think they can. When do we need to leave?"

"As soon as Allen gets the train to our platform."

"How long we looking at?"

"Merris is listing transit time as one and a half days each way."

We threw some things into a couple of bags and hurried down stairs to Darien's door. After several minutes of pounding he stuck a sleep fuzzy head out and blinked sleepily at us. "What? What do you want? Need sleep..."

"We are needed on a mission. You and Mortiss need to take care of the Cathouse for a few days."

"Days? What's this days?"

"Days, as in several," I explained slowly. "Probably no more than three. You know the drill and the suppliers do too. You can get a message to us, can't they Dementia?"

"Yeah. You get on the com to Central Station and they can get a message through. See you guys in a few days." We headed down the stairs and out the back. We had to wait only a few minutes before Allen rolled up with the train of Dementia's old car, a second sleeper car for the drivers, and the locomotive. Once aboard we stowed our gear and headed out.

A day and a half later the com chimed with the arrival message from Allen. Soon we were racing across a large body of water toward a high red bridge. I stared at it for a moment, having never seen the Golden Gate bridge from San Francisco Bay before. As we watched a small figure leapt from one of the towers and plummeted toward the bay. A small parasail opened above it but it was too little too late. Still traveling way too fast the figure slammed into the water.

Allen was already slowing and positioning the carriage for the best angle. Dementia grabbed a headset com from the same drawer as the main unit and headed for the back platform. I followed close on her heels. As she leaned out to pull the floating body onto the platform a clawed hand slammed up out of the water plunging a wicked knife into her chest. The claws yanked, trying to free the knife, but the bone and tissues had locked around it. Soundlessly Dementia was pulled face first into the bay.

I dove down the steps and grabbed her ankles as she thrashed weakly in the water. Claws slashed up and opened a gash along my right arm as I desperately held on. Struggling and straining I managed to pull her part way out of the water. Between her feeble pushing and scrambling and my dragging I got her back onto the platform. "Dementia, Dementia, oh goddess..."

"Rescue..." it came out in a low whisper.

"Yes, I'll get us out of here." I ripped the headset off her head and smashed it onto mine.

"No. Finish rescue..." Her right hand fumbled weakly until it found mine and gave it a small tug.

"We need to get you to safety."

"Finish rescue... Must finish..."

She struggled weakly to move back to the platform steps. Carefully I held her down. "Ok, we will. We'll finish it. You just rest now. I'll be right back. You just rest..." I replied softly as I gave Dementia's hand a gentle squeeze. Tears burned my eyes as I spoke into the com, "Allen, quick, I need another pass. Something is fighting us for the target."

Slowly the train turned and headed back around. Just as I was almost in position a long, scaled, almost humanoid body flopped up onto the target and pushed it away with the flick of heavily finned feet. Again I called for another pass and again the aquatic thing pushed the target out of reach.

Frustrated I pulled energy and started creating an energy ball. When next the thing surfaced I blasted it. It's unconscious form sank back into the water as I pulled the recruit onto the steps of the platform. "Allen, I need help back here, fast. Dementia's badly hurt and I can't get the rescue onto the platform."

"I'm sending Jeff right away. He has medical training. Are things stable enough that we can get out of here?"

" No, I think the rescue would fall off."

"Let me know as soon as things are stable."

Time crawled in slow motion until Jeff burst through the door. Quickly we pulled the rescued body onto the platform and then I rushed to Dementia. Blood slowly oozed around the knife plunged almost to the hilt in her chest. Her head was down as if she were sleeping and for a moment I wasn't sure she was still breathing. The world spun as I struggled not to pass out. "Ennui, Ennui," Jeff's voice brought me back from the edge. "Tell Allen to get us out of here."

Still woozy I spoke slowly into the com, "Allen, this is Ennui. You can get us out of here. Be careful we're still on the back platform." I turned to Jeff, "Could you help me get her into the bedroom? I know we shouldn't move her, but it won't be any better leaving her out here."

"Sure. Go get a blanket or something that we can lift her on. We don't want to move the knife." As we worked the train slowly eased it's way back to the void. We reached it just as Jeff and I got Dementia into bed.

"What should we do with the new recruit? I think he's dead."

"Of course he's dead. That's how people come here, you know that..."

"Duh, right. But when we picked up Mortiss and Darien they were awake."

"It depends on a lot of circumstances. Sometimes you remain aware, sometimes not. This one seems to be suffering particularly serious soul shock. He could be out for several hours even."

"Maybe we could put him in the lounge." I grabbed his feet and Jeff took his shoulders. It was only a few minutes work to drag him into the lounge and throw a blanket over him. "Could you take a look at Dementia?"

"I was going to..."

"Sorry, I'm just...scared..."

We walked to the bedroom and Jeff stepped to the bed. Carefully he examined the wound. "There's not much I can do here. We don't have any of the right equipment. I can try and stop the oozing and stabilize the knife, other than that we have to wait. Could you have Allen try and get us the fastest routing back?" He was bandaging her while he talked. Soon he had the knife immobilized and dressings in place to stop as much of the bleeding as possible. "Now, let's see that gash on your arm."

"It's nothing." I had completely forgotten about it in the excitement.

"Still, it should be checked." Gentle fingers checked it over and applied a light bandage. "There, that should make it happier."

As he worked I switched on the com and called Allen, "Allen? Is there any chance Merris could..."

"Already talked to her. She got us an eighteen hour route. It routes us through some dangerous sections, however they've been quiet for a while."

"Thanks. Tell her I owe her one." I closed the com again and let Jeff know.

"One of us should watch the recruit. He could wake up at any time and it's best if someone is there. It helps ease the shock."

"Could you do that? I've never done one of these before and I'd really like to stay here. I know I can't do anything, but I feel better when I'm near her." Slow tears started to leak from my eyes.

"Yeah, I can do that, but I want some help when he wakes up. I'm not so good with the new arrivals."

"You've got to be at least as good as I am. I've never dealt with this before."

"Neither have I."

"Oh," I started and then stopped, not knowing of anything else to say. As he turned to leave I asked the question I didn't want to ask, "What..what are her chances?"

His not turning to face me and his hesitation gave the lie to his words, "She's young, strong and in good shape. She'll be fine."

"Jeff, don't."

He turned sad eyes back toward me, sucked in a very deep breath and said, "Not very good. If she survives the trip she might make it. I... I give her twenty five percent at best. I'm sorry, truly I am."

I nodded through tears and replied through sniffles, "Thanks for being honest."

"I...I... I better go watch now..."

"Ok. Come get me when he starts to move and I'll help as much as I can." Moving slowly and carefully I slipped into bed beside Dementia. I reached out a shaking hand to softly stroke her hair. "I'm sorry. I wish I could have done something." It was weird but I thought I felt a warm tingling energy flow from my hand. Putting it down to nerves I leaned my head back and stared up at the ceiling. Sleep slipped warm tentacles around me and swiftly drew me in.

"Ennui," Jeff called from the door. "Time to wake up. The recruit is awakening."

I mumbled some inarticulate reply as I struggled to wake up. I groaned and shook my head as I followed along behind Jeff. "Ugh, can't wake up..."

A moan came from the figure on the floor pulling my attention to him. I finally had a couple of minutes to look him over. He was young, probably in his early to mid twenties. Jeff had removed his wet clothes and wrapped him in a blanket. He was ruggedly handsome in a well built but not body builder way. Tangled brown hair framed his face. As I watched unfocused brown eyes opened and slowly focused in on me. He groaned again. "What?" He forced out.

"In my lounge. You had a bit of an accident and I rescued you."

"Accident? Oh, yeah, the paragliding...how did I do? Did I make it across the bay?"

"No. It was rather less than that."

"Well, how far then?"

"Face first into the bay I believe."

"I wouldn't have survived that."

"I'm afraid you didn't. I am here to take you to your destination."

"Are you an angel? You're dressed kind of funny to be an angel." The figure asked. Jeff snickered from the doorway as I glanced down at blood stained jeans and top.

"Shut up Jeff! Maybe you should go watch Dementia."

He settled into a sitting posture in the hallway. "No, I think I'll stay here for now. Just in case..."

"Dementia? Is that another angel?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that. You have a choice to make and I'm here to try and explain it to you."

"Oh gods, but I didn't mean to hurt anyone with that..."

"No, not that kind of choice really. You have the choice between the afterlife or adventure as a recruit of the Death City Metropolitan Railroad."

"Way to go Ennui, confuse the poor guy."

"Listen Jeff, I'm new at this and a bit distracted, ok?" I turned my attention back to the figure, "Sorry about that, now where were we?"

"Weren't you about to explain why someone named Ennui is trying to convince me that I'm dead and being offered a choice of after death experiences? Cause, you know, this is starting to sound more like a gag than a real thing, although I do vaguely remember hitting the water awfully hard."

"Thank you very much Jeff." I growled back at him. Then I said to the figure, "That part is a long story. You on the other hand have a choice that needs to be made. Yes, I am called Ennui. You are on a train of the Death City Metro. If you can sit up and look over to the window it will be quite obvious that you aren't in the Realms any more."

The man leaned up and took a long look out the window. He gave a startled gasp then said, "Very nice effects. Spared no expense I see. Although windows are easy."

"What?"

"I've seen enough movies to recognize special effects when I see them."

"Special effects? No, this is not special effects. Can you stand yet? If so, come with me...what IS your name anyway?"

"I'm Erick. Dementia, Ennui, and Jeff. Well, that's pretty clever. What's the matter Jeff? Couldn't think of a good goth name?" Erick slowly stood, wavering quite a bit as the blood flowed back into his legs. "Whoa, stood up a little fast there."

"Nope, I just like my name."

"Ok Erick, follow me." I said as I headed for the door to the back platform. We stepped out onto the platform and I watched as he took in the stars above. Then his eyes were drawn to the stars beside and under us between the sleepers for the rails. Wind whipped around the back and played in my hair. The noise of track and locomotive throbbed around us.

"This is impressive! Who's paying for this? This is a hell of a gag. I didn't expect a birthday this nice until my thirtieth..."

"Fuck! We are NOT playing with you!" I replied in exasperation. "Ok, come on, I'll show you the rest of the train." I took him the other direction after carefully stepping over Jeff, who made no effort to move. We went up the passage and through the connecting door into the sleeper car where the drivers' compartments were. From there I took him forward to the locomotive connect. "We could go all the way forward, but it is dangerous while we are under way." The wind whipped around us as we stormed through the void.

"Well, maybe I'm starting to believe you. What's the deal then?" Erick shouted back over the wind. "And how can there be stars and wind and air?"

"Magic, how else?"

"So what happens if I step off?"

"Well, hopefully you aren't able to. If you could, you'd die the Final Death. No afterlife, no anything, just end of existence. Which brings me back to your choice. You can go on to the afterlife and whatever you believe it will be, or you can sign on with Death City." I gave a self mocking laugh, "I don't know why I'm doing this. I've only been here a few months myself. Somehow I'm supposed to convince you to join up, but what can I offer? Either you go to the reward you believe you are getting or you join us and face more risk. If you die in Death City it is the Final Death. Although if you expect a bad afterlife this is a great way to side-step it."

"Ah, yeah, I'll think about it. When do I have to decide?"

"Before you die doing something for Death City. I think it might be like life in the Realms, you can technically decide right up until you die."

"Although there are some proxy gods that would hold it against you if you spent too much time working with us. We are looked upon with suspicion by both the 'good' side and the 'bad' side. We refuse to play their games of using beings in the Realms to fight their battles for them." Jeff added from the doorway

"So if the deity I worshipped didn't like my being here it would effect my chances on leaving?"

"That's it. The longer you are here, the more likely it is. Some sales pitch isn't it?" Jeff explained.

"Well I wasn't ready to be bored so I think I'll give it a try. When does the excitement start?"

I had to laugh, "For you, maybe not for a little while yet. We came out to get you. Now we're headed back."

"But you'll be there to show me around, right?"

"Probably not me. Jeff might though. It kind of depends on what you want to do. Now that you've sort of decided to stay you can start thinking of what you like doing."

"Uh, I like..."

"You don't need to tell me now. You don't ever have to tell me. You just need to think about it for yourself. Now I'm going to take you to a compartment where you are going to get some rest. You will need it after all you've been through." I took Erick back into to the drivers' sleeper and opened a spare compartment. Jeff pointed out the small closet and then explained how to open out the bed and use the fold down facilities. In the small closet were a variety of loose fitting clothes from which he could choose. "Now try and rest."

"It's recommended that you remain fairly inactive for at least eight hours after a traumatic ending. Someone will see you then." Jeff added.

I returned to the bedroom, closed and locked the door, then slipped back onto the bed and curled up protectively next to Dementia. I remained distanced from her for a few minutes but it didn't feel quite right. Carefully I edged closer and draped my arm protectively across her. Immediately I felt a soft tingle once more. This time I tried to analyze it but sleep aggressively pulled me down before I could form any real thoughts.

A loud knocking woke me. By the time I started to move it had turned into a heavy thumping. Head pounding I tried to roll carefully off the bed. Instead I fell onto my knees and hands. With a groan I shoved myself to my feet. It felt like the worst hang over I had ever had. Slowly I staggered to the door. "What?!?" I barked.

"It's me, Erick. I woke up. What happens next?"

'You leave me the fuck alone?' I screamed silently to myself through the pain in my head. "You go into the kitchen and find yourself food. There should be something you might like. I'll join you soon."

I slid down the door and sat on the floor cradling my head in my hands. When the pounding started to ease up I slowly stood, pulled open the door and staggered to the kitchen. I glared at the back of Erick's head where he was busy with the coffee pot. I edged around him and collapsed onto one of the benches in the dining area. There I cradled my head in my hands again and asked grumpily, "What did you want again?"

"To talk I guess..." He trailed off. I let the silence stretch a very long time before prompting him to go on.

"I bet you're wondering what brought me to the bridge and the accident." I managed a noncommittal noise which he took as assent. "It was pretty stupid really. There was this girl..." I choked back the biting remark that sprang to my lips. "Anyway I met her, Elaine, at this up-scale bar downtown. We hit it off really well and I got to bragging about how good I was with a paraglider. Well, we had a few more drinks and she dared me to jump from the bridge."

"And you thought this was a good idea, why?" I asked acidly. He favored me with a hurt puppy look. "Ok, un-called-for, sorry."

"We agreed on today as the day. She said she knew someone that worked bridge maintenance that could let me up to the top of one of the towers. Well, it was a set-up of a sort. Turned out the guy was her boyfriend and she was just trolling for kicks. I very nearly walked away, but it was such a sweet challenge. That and the boyfriend didn't think I had the guts to actually do it." I managed to bite back another scathing comment. "The rest you pretty much know. I jumped, realized I didn't have nearly enough air, tried to recover, and didn't make it. I guess what I wanted to talk about is what comes next."

I was drawing breath to comment when Allen appeared in the doorway. "Is that coffee I smell?"

"Yes it is. Allen, this is Erick, the rescue we were sent for. Erick, this is Allen, one of the drivers of the train. You met Jeff a while ago. Must be Jeff's shift driving now?"

"Yup." Allen pulled a cup out of the cabinet and poured himself coffee. "Ennui?"

"Yes, definitely yes! Lots of sugar please." A few moments later I had my hands wrapped possessively around a large mug of coffee. The first sip tasted so wonderful. "You wanted to ask something Erick?" I prompted.

"So I uh guess I want to know more about this Death City place and what's expected. I mean you and Jeff explained some a while ago but now I have questions..."

"So, ask away. No guaranteed answers though." Allen answered conversationally. I clutched my coffee and listened as they talked, thinking maybe there'd be a few more answers for me as well.

"What's it all about? Jeff said something about it not being liked by the other gods. I guess that's the first question, other gods? I was taught there's only one."

"Yeah, well, sorry but that's not the way it really works. Each one claims to be the only one."

"Ok-ay...leaving that aside for now...what is the purpose of all this?"

"That's easier. Every living thing has at least one deity, god, godling, etc. to take care of it when it's time ends. What about the non-living things? What about art, science, music, sculpture? All the beauty that sentience can create? That's what Eternia is about. We recover the items left behind when disaster strikes. We then slide it back into other areas of the Realms so it can be enjoyed again. Have you ever wandered the aisles of a junk shop and found the perfect treasure? Chances are we put it there."

"So that's the deal then? You go around picking up things? Doesn't sound very hard, or exciting for that matter..."

"Yeah, 'we go around picking up things' like you said. Only the proxy gods don't want us picking things up. They don't like our refusal to play their game either. Some of them try to block our actions and in recent times they've started to get violent about it. You missed the attacks on Dementia and Ennui because you were still in death shock. Dementia has a knife in her chest and not very good odds of surviving."

"No one told me."

"I'm not surprised. We're still surprised at how much more dangerous things have gotten recently. It used to be the others would try and obscure details or fake us out in some way, but recently they have launched actual attacks on Eternia personnel."

"You keep saying proxy gods..."

"Because they don't fight their own battles. They set up belief structures and then have their followers fight each other while they stay in Valhalla, Paradise, Archearon, Hades, or where ever and watch the results. Kind of like watching a football game where the sides can kill each other. You cheer on your team, but never actually risk yourself."

"You people aren't very good at selling this are you?"

"We're not selling anything. We offer a choice. Whether someone takes it or not is entirely up to them. There are as many reasons for accepting this as there are people in Eternia. Maybe you don't like the afterlife you've been taught to believe in, maybe you are tired of the cycle and the thought of one last adventure and then oblivion is comforting, or maybe it's some other reason. It doesn't matter, only that it is your choice. If we make it out to be something it isn't we haven't done you or us any good."

"So what do we do for the rest of this trip? However long it is..."

"Rest, relax, think about life, the universe, everything... Whatever gets you by. There's books in the lounge if reading helps. Me, I tend to sleep when I'm not relieving Jeff as driver. Ennui will return to keeping watch over her injured friend or sleeping as well. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to sip this coffee for a few more minutes and go relieve Jeff."

"Sure, no problem... Ennui?"

"Yeah?"

"Look, I'm sorry about your friend."

"Yeah, well, thanks. Thanks for the coffee too. I'm going to go back to watching over Dementia." His apology didn't go far, but it did take the edge off my irritation. "You should maybe eat something and rest some more as well."

"Ok." He began rummaging through the cabinets as I returned to the bedroom. I stumbled back to bed and collapsed onto it. My motions brought a soft moan from Dementia. "Shhh, I'm sorry dear one. Rest, rest and heal..." She moaned more softly and edged closer to me. It brought a smile to my face as I draped an arm over her once more. For a minute I wondered why it felt so good but once again sleep sucked me down rapidly.

I vaguely remember almost waking up at Portal Station. At least I think that's when I first heard the term 'Healing Trance' applied to what was happening between Dementia and I. The next thing I remember for certain was Allen waking me up. I woke a bit easier this time. "How long until Portal Station?"

Allen let out a small snicker. "We've passed it. You're back at the Cathouse platform. Seems you slept through the trip. You and Dementia both..."

"How is she?" I asked as I turned to look at her.

"Look for yourself. You two did some sort of healing trance, at least that's what the healer at Portal Station called it. She was mostly ok by the time we got there." I looked closely at Dementia and noticed the knife had been pushed entirely out of her chest. It was held in place only by the bandages Jeff had put around it.

"Dementia? Hey, wake up now..." I gently called. After several tries she stirred slowly and let out a soft moan.

"Oh wow, I had the worst dream..." She started to sit up only to see a knife hilt sticking up from a mass of bandages. "Oh shit, it wasn't a dream was it?"

I placed a hand on her shoulder. "No, but the good news is we have some amazing healing abilities..." I suddenly had to blink a lot to clear the unshed tears out of my eyes. Impulsively I hugged her close. "What say we head up to our own rooms. I'm sure Allen and Jeff would like to take the train back and get a break of their own."

"Is your friend ok?" Erick asked from the door of the compartment.

"Yes, yes she is, thanks."

"Good, I'm glad."

"The healer at Portal said you'd probably need to sleep some more. I'm guessing you'll need lots of food later as well. How about you call Temple Heath when you're up and we can meet at the Adam and Eve?" Allen added.

"Sounds great," I managed through a huge yawn. "Could one of you find Erick a place to stay? If he doesn't mind a bit of noise we have a few finished apartments above the club." I yawned again. "Well, we're off to sleep some more." Dementia and I slowly left the train and headed up to our rooms.

Ten hours later we walked into the Adam and Eve and descended to the basement hall where the Temple Heath crowd usually congregated. Allen waved us over and made room near him for us to squeeze in. Jo flitted over and set large glasses of water in front of us. "Finish these and then I'll let you order something else. Now, what sort of food would you like? We have the usual, plus super burgers, prepared specially for the survivors of healing trances."

Dementia stared hard at Allen. "Did you tell everyone?"

Jeff grinned and replied, "Allen didn't, I did. And I only told the people who would have asked."

We both ordered the super burgers and sat back sipping water. The rapid arrival of food allowed us to not have to answer an immediate flurry of questions. Once we were finished however the table prompted for a recounting of the entire incident.

Many hours later we staggered back toward the Cathouse, relatively drunk but happy. At the club Dementia said, "I think I'm going to dance a little before bed tonight. I've been lazing about too much the past few days." She headed down to the dance floor and checked in with the bar staff before making her way into the dancing throng. I watched from the upper floor for several minutes before following her down.

I danced my way to a spot where I could see Dementia near the stage. I didn't notice that Erick had danced up beside me until he touched my arm and spoke, "How you doing?"

I twitched at the unexpected contact and glared at him. "Fine."

"And Dementia? How is she?"

"She's fine too." I started to ignore him, then realized how rude that really was and asked, "How are you doing? Did you find a place?"

"I'm in one of your apartments, one of the ones on the second floor. It's nice. Thanks for offering it."

"Not a problem. Drink?" I asked.

"Sure." We eased our way out of the crowd and to a couple of stools near the dance floor bar. Erick stared at the bar apparatus. "Fancy glassware. Did you design it?"

"No, a friend of our beer supplier did. I'm quite happy about it though. Hey, Darien, this is Erick. He's upstairs at least temporarily. Erick, what would you like?"

"A lighter beer please."

"One beer and one toxic waste coming up." Darien started a beer pour and then stepped to the apparatus. Swiftly he turned a variety of knobs and liquids began to flow. The device bubbled and churned as light greenish liquid flowed into the test tube set aside for it. Darien stopped the device, ended the beer pour, and delivered our drinks.

"Toxic waste?"

"It's a specialty drink. I like it because it looks really awful. Plus it's a great way to watch the drink apparatus in action. As far as the apartment goes you can either stay in it or find something you like better. I'm sure Allen explained a lot of this to you today, but Eternia is mostly a form of barter economy. We all do the things we like and are good at. Then we share the results to benefit the rest."

"He explained some of that. He didn't say what happened if you got someone who didn't fit in though..."

"Are you worried about that?"

"No, just curious."

"It doesn't happen very often as I understand it. Whatever selection mechanism the Lady uses keeps it from happening in the first place. Dementia saw it once though. The person stopped contributing but continued to take what they needed. For a while everything just kept on, although they became more and more uneasy and uncomfortable. Some small spark of conscience, for lack of a better term, started to bother them. Eventually they went off on a mission and got themselves killed. It was rather sad actually. Here was a chance to heal from the nastiness of the Realms but they couldn't quite accept it." I noticed Erick seemed a bit uneasy at the thought but I chose not to push against it. Glancing back at the dance floor I noticed Dementia heading up the back steps. I forced up a yawn and said, "I'm starting to get sleepy again, so I shall be saying good night now."

"So am I. Let me follow you as far as my apartment." Erick rose and followed me up.

He started to speak once we had passed out of the club and into the quieter corridors. Not wanting to talk more I called up a large yawn again and said, "Sorry, but I don't think I could follow any more conversation tonight." I left him at the door to his apartment.

In my rooms I slipped into my night wear and joined Dementia in bed where I mentioned, "I think Erick was hitting on me tonight."

"I think Erick's been hitting on you every time he sees you," Dementia observed. "He isn't un-attractive..."

"I know, but just as you don't swing my way, he isn't the type of guy I find attractive. He's too, I don't know, full of himself maybe?"

"Ah, I know the type. They'd hose the floors down with testosterone given half a chance. Still, he is nicer than most of the guys I've dealt with. He at least seems to think we aren't lesser for being women."

"That is a good sign, you're right.

"Let me guess, no tinglies, right?"

"Tinglies?"

"Yeah, you know the butterflies in the stomach thing, the hard time figuring out what to say next, that little surge in various parts that says 'oh yeah'; tinglies."

"I could see having him as a friend, but you're right, no tinglies."

"You won't let me stop you from finding a relationship, will you?"

"Ah, no...it's just the nightmares spook me a little..."

"Yeah, I know the feeling. I wonder if it's a sleeping alone thing or a sleeping without each other thing..."

"I haven't a clue. How about we worry about it when one of us finds someone we're interested in? I think I'm still tired from the healing trance."

"Good night, Ennui."

"Sleep well." Dementia dropped right off but I lay awake a long time thinking about her tinglies comments.

The next night I was tending the dance floor bar when Erick plopped down on a stool. "Hi Ennui. Something strong ok?"

"Sure, what kind of strong? Paralyzingly sweet, sweet, neutral, or harsh?"

"I don't care, just strong. Uh 151 rum and diet coke maybe."

"Coming up." I set a glass down in front of him a few minutes later.

"Before you go, can I ask you something?"

"I'm the bartender, of course..."

"What type of guys does Dementia like?" That threw me for a loop. Here I'd been thinking he was hitting on me. Maybe I'd seen the wrong signals.

"You should maybe be asking her that don't you think?"

"Not yet. I don't think she likes me. She won't talk to me."

"Erick, the couple of times you've tried she's been exhausted or injured. What do you expect? Give her a couple of days to get back on her feet and try talking then."

"Point taken. But still, what kind of guys does she tend to go out with? Is she seeing anyone right now? I know you're one of her best friends. It's pretty obvious."

"And as her best friend it's not my place to tell stories about her. That's for her to do."

"The least you can do is tell me if she's seeing anyone. I could find that out from anyone."

"Ok, I can tell you she's not seeing anyone right now. Satisfied?"

"No, but if that's as good as I can get..." He started hopefully.

"It is."

"Then it'll have to do. Can you tell me what she likes?"

"What she likes?"

"Yeah, does she like to read? Go for walks, stuff like that?"

"Erick..." I replied in exasperation.

"I know, ask her yourself..."

"Very good. Now, do you need a refill on that?"

"I think so, only less coke this time."

I slowly climbed the steps to my rooms after the Cathouse closed, thinking all the while about Erick's questions. As I slid in beside Dementia I asked, "What do you like?"

"Hmm?" Dementia mumbled through a yawn.

"I know you aren't crazy about hard physical work, but you'll do it for a goal. You have terrible visions and nightmares sometimes. I realized today that I don't know much about what you like."

"Goes the same for you," Dementia responded sleepily.

"I guess it does at that," I was about to continue when I realized Dementia's breathing had slipped into her sleeping patterns. Not wanting to wake her I settled back and stared up at the ceiling, mumbling to myself, "I think I need to get to know you better..."

The morning dawned bright and beautiful. I awoke first and stumbled to the kitchen. While a fresh pot of coffee brewed I slipped into the shower. I was just drying my hair when Dementia staggered into the kitchen. "Coffee, mmmm. Have I told you how much I appreciate that?"

"You do? Good." I gave her a bright sunny smile. "So that's one of the things you like? Fresh coffee in the morning?"

"Well duh," Dementia answered with a smile of her own. "As far as I can tell you do as well."

"Especially after a hot shower, yes. How about foods? I know we go to the Adam and Eve for breakfasts a lot, but is it just because it's close or because you like the food as well?"

"It is close, but I like the food. I'm kind of a sucker for breakfast food. I could eat it most any time. How about you?"

"Burgers, definitely. And sausage kinds of things. Something about the seared meat taste just does it for me. I have a thought. How about we just take a lazy day before the club opens and do some of your favorite things?"

"What is this, get to know Dementia day?"

"And would there be something wrong with that?"

"I guess not. Just wait until it's your turn though..."

"Breakfast then? What would you like to do after that?"

"Breakfast it is and then how about a walk along the river?"

"Sounds great!"

As we walked along the river Dementia finally asked, "This is great and all and I'm having a wonderful time so far, I'm just a bit curious as to why, you know, why you want to find out about me?"

"We are room mates, we work at the same club, we spend a lot of time together, I just thought maybe we should know a bit more about each other..." I replied guiltily. "We don't have to do this..." Her questions stung more than I wanted them to. Quickly I turned away so she wouldn't see the tears that had sprung up in my eyes.

"Shhh, hey, I never said I wanted to stop. I was just curious, that's all..." Dementia reached out and pulled me into a quick hug. "I'm not so great at this I guess. I've been here quite some time but there are still things from the past that haunt me. And I'm afraid of you a little. I know you aren't interested in me the way I'd like, but I, well, I am having trouble not falling for you anyway. So some of my distance is because of that." Dementia gave a shaky little laugh, "So, I like long walks along the river, Warm fall days and kicking through fallen leaves. Purring cats, dancing to anything with a good beat, train rides, without the visions please, and breakfast foods. Now it's your turn."

"Walks on sunny days, the sounds of falling or moving water, candle-lit dinners, warm starry nights where you can lay out on a roof or a grassy patch and stare up at them, dark, brooding music and strange hair colors. Playing bass at the club, the weird crazy antics we do in the band, and grilled meats of most kinds. And you as my friend. Speaking of falling for someone, I have to tell you I think Erick has the hots for you. I was wrong in assuming it was me he was after. Just so you know he'll probably put the moves on in the next few days. He kept trying to get me to talk about you the other night. I kept telling him if he wanted to know about you that he had to ask you. He might have gotten the message by the end of the evening..."

"Great. It's happened before. Usually when I recruit a guy I spend the next few weeks convincing them that I'm not their long lost love. I'm surprised he didn't fixate on you though. You're the one who talked him through it."

"Why do you do it then? If I might ask..."

"It's sort of on my list of likes in a perverse kind of way. I like to watch people realize that the afterlife isn't this cut and dried thing. So many of them come in with terror of the afterlife promised by bad religious upbringing. It makes me feel good to give them hope again. How did it feel for you with Erick?"

"With Erick? I don't know, mostly scary I guess. I didn't have any idea what to say to give him a fair chance at a decision. If Jeff hadn't been helping I don't know what I would have done. As for the rest I guess I hadn't really thought about it that way. My upbringing was thankfully free of a lot of religious baggage, but I knew quite a few gaje... Oh, sorry, non-circus, settled down people...well, actually, the technical use of the word would be non-gypsy settled people, but we suborned it on the circus train... Anyway, lots of the settled folk weren't so lucky as to avoid that type of baggage. I think I know what you mean with Erick, although I was too busy trying to figure out what to do next that I wasn't really paying all that much attention to details."

"I mentioned coming from Victorian London, well there was quite a bit of religious baggage there, along with a lot of social position stuff as well. If you came from a working class background it was both more and less important than if you were of the upper classes. Some things were set aside to survive. I was lucky and found work in a theatre. Many of the people I knew had to work the streets to get by. It was a very harsh time if you weren't wealthy."

"I wonder if that's a kind of theme? I grew up with the circus. It's one of those things most people don't believe, but I did. My mom ran away from home when she was eighteen with a lion trainer. He wasn't very good either as a partner or as a tamer and was let go shortly before I was born. It was a wonderful life for me, however my mom didn't handle it very well. She was one of the support crew and in charge of costuming. She was really good, but she didn't think so. Slowly she fell into a depression and when we were near her childhood home she quit. We went to live with the man who quickly became my step father. He had been a childhood sweetheart of my mom's and his wife had recently died. He's nice enough, just rather set in his ways. He never understood the draw of the circus life and couldn't understand why I had such a hard time settling down."

"What was the hardest part?"

"When they put me in the gaje schools. The kids were horribly clannish and narrow minded. Most of them had enough local intolerance that they thought the circus was for people who couldn't make it in the real world. I still don't understand that one. The circus provided entertainment and escape and people flocked to it. You had to be top of your game to get in and stay in. It didn't matter to them. I was an average student and only really excelled at gymnastics. Anyway, I survived it and went off to university. Life was much better there. It wasn't quite so clannish so I managed better. I was happier so my grades improved which made my parents happier as well. I still miss my little sister. She was technically my step sister but we got to be quite close. She could tell me the things our parents wouldn't understand, like how she knew she was lesbian when she was twelve. Gods, I hope she's ok."

"Sounds like your parents weren't that bad."

"No, they really weren't. They tried, they just couldn't always figure me out. Cindi, my sister, is smarter than me so I'm sure she'll figure things out. She has one of those quiet but take no shit kinds of personalities."

"Hey, I didn't mean to bring you down..."

"It's ok. Guess I still think about it sometimes. This place is so...I don't know...I guess it has all the best aspects of the circus, without the high ego and ass hole factor."

"There's not total immunity from that here either."

"I'll believe you, it just seems quite reduced from what I've seen."

"It is."

"Do you miss the theatre at all?"

"Some, yeah. It had the same sense of belonging that there is here. It was so long ago that it's faded quite a bit in my memory though."

"Well, we don't seem to be doing as well for favorite things. Are there other things? Maybe things you do to relax?"

"Well..." Dementia smiled seductively.

I blushed bright red and hastily added, "Besides that..."

"You'd be surprised how few people actually think of that one..."

"I'm sure, still, anything else?"

"Spoil sport."

"Just don't want to lead you on to things that might not happen."

"Might not? Hmmm..."

"Dementia!"

"Ok, ok, let's see...I like movies and books. Curling up with a favorite one of either is good, especially on the rainy days. The Hall of Records project was kind of an extension of that and gave me something to occupy me when I was here. Now the club gives me something else to do and I find I really like doing it. It's a great chance to talk to some really interesting people. I hadn't thought there were so many that would be interested in what we created. And you?"

"Books are good. So is figuring new things out on bass guitar. I agree the club is a grand thing. It turned out better than I could have hoped! Is this how new recruits figure out what they want to do?"

"Usually. Often it's through talking about it with the people around you." She screamed and clutched her head, dropping to the ground in a boneless heap. "Com..." Her hands fumbled uselessly at her sides.

I grabbed her bag and fumbled through it. At last I found the com, pulled it out, snapped it on and waited for Merris to answer. As soon as she did I leaned close to Dementia and asked,"What are you seeing?"

"Route Alpha Gamma three six... trap, magic, counter protections, open to void..." Merris and I kept the com open when Dementia stopped speaking in case there was more.

As soon as Dementia passed completely into unconsciousness I spoke into the com, "Looks like that's it."

"Thanks, I'll keep you posted." I switched the com to standby and placed it back in the bag. I pulled Dementia into my arms and held her until she stirred. Gently I brushed her hair back and asked softly, "So what did you do before you had someone to watch over you when you collapse?"

"Fell down and woke up when it was over," Dementia whispered hoarsely. She remained in my arms until her strength returned. I helped her back to her feet as she commented slowly, "They've been getting worse lately. More of them and more debilitating when they come. Used to be I'd just sit and stare into space, now...well you've seen..."

"Is there anything more we can do? Something to track down the threat or something? It seems like it's just a matter of time before the warning isn't quite soon enough..."

Dementia stared at the ground with an expression of sorrow and fear, "I know. If only I could get the visions sooner, or with more detail, or just stay conscious long enough to state them clearly."

"That wasn't what I meant."

"I know, it's just I've thought the same thing and every time I can't think of anything else to do. Oh god, I just wish there was!" Dementia wailed.

"This isn't your fault. Just like the Lady told me, it's just where you are at the time." I wrapped a steadying arm around her and started us slowly back toward the Cathouse.

"I've seen a bit more. There are changes coming. We will be drawn into a battle with the proxy gods for our survival. They want something we have."

"Did you see all that?

"No, it's just pieces of feeling from the last few visions. But it seems right given the increasing attacks."

"You want me to handle the club tonight? Let you take it easy?"

"Much as I'd like that, I think I need the distraction of the crowd."

"Okaaaay, just be ready in case Erick shows up."

"Not to worry friend of mine, I've dealt with this before. Although I'm going to laugh it up when you get your first one..." Dementia finished with a laugh.

It was getting quite late at the Cathouse when Erick made his way to the dance floor bar. He sat down and waited for Ennui to notice him. Once he had his drink he stared into it nervously before flagging her down again. "I, uh, I was going to talk to Dementia. Have you seen her?"

"She's in the back, you want me to get her for you?"

"Please? Before I lose my nerve..." I almost felt sorry for him, knowing he had no chance at all. When I had a couple of minutes I slipped out behind the bar and up to the kitchen. "Dementia, Erick's here. He wants to talk to you."

"Well, well. Ok, tell him I'll be right down." I hurried back and relayed the message. Erick sat and nervously played with his drink.

Five minutes later Dementia emerged from the back stairs and slipped around to sit by Erick. Curiosity pulled me close enough to overhear their conversation.

"Dementia, how's it going?"

"Fine, Erick. You more settled in now? Found something to keep you busy yet?"

"I'm helping prepare coaches for the rescue missions and then helping with unloading and cataloging at the central repository."

"Great!"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask. Sometimes I even answer."

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"Kind of personal, but I can answer that. No, I'm not seeing anyone right now."

"Would you like to go out tomorrow night?"

"The direct approach, takes courage," Dementia stated. "I don't want to hurt you..."

"But direct doesn't work..."

"Erick, I'm not currently looking for a partner. I'm sorry. I'm not the right person. Stick with direct though, honesty is always appreciated here."

Erick sat back and struggled with himself before forcing out some reluctant words, "Is there a way we could be friends?"

"Yes. I would very much like that. It's hard to have too many friends."

"I, I think I'd like that as well. I gotta get some sleep, see you later..." He hurried away from the bar and out of the club.

Dementia sighed as she headed for the back. "Well, that went better than I hoped. It's still hard though."

I gave her a quick hug, "At least it's settled."

"Yeah. See you in a while, still got kitchen things to take care of." Something dark and sad in her voice unsettled me. After a few more minutes filling orders I turned to Mortiss, "I'm taking a break. I'll send Delirium out to help you." I slipped up to the kitchen, found Delirium, and asked her to help Mortiss.

"Sure boss." The tall, lanky, shaved headed woman pulled a dark brown robe over her tights and danskin top. "The monk is on duty."

"Thanks."

"You doing ok boss? You look a little spooked."

"Naw, I'm ok, just a of things on my mind right now."

Delirium nodded knowingly, "Yeah, that happens sometimes. Good luck!"

I headed out of the kitchen and onto the loading platform. I found a shadowed area, dragged an empty beer barrel into it, sat down and stared up at the stars. They were so beautiful here. A few minutes later movement caught my eye. I looked in time to see Dementia come out and step into the shadow as well. She seemed lost in thought as she stared up at the sky like I had been. At last I spoke, "Beautiful night isn't it? I love the stars here. There are so many of them."

"Damn, you got me..." I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up as Dementia tried to clarify, "Uh, you know what I mean, you startled me, sitting in the shadows like that."

"I'm sorry,"

"No you're not!"

"Guilty as charged. So, you doing ok?"

"Yeah, about to tell the crew to take over and head to bed. Still a little rattled from that conversation with Erick. It's never easy. I let him down as gently as I could while making it clear there was no chance. It hit him pretty hard, but he had stones enough to ask to be friends. I think he'll be ok."

"He'll find the right one. Probably take him a while, but he will." I turned back to the stars. "Want to sit and watch the stars for a bit or go sleep?"

Dementia settled onto a second barrel. "Watch for a few minutes, then tell the crew the club is theirs for the night."

We sat in comfortable silence for half an hour. At last Dementia stood and stretched, "Got to sleep now, before I fall off this barrel." She headed back inside. "I'll tell the crew. See you upstairs?"

I started to nod, then remembered it was too dark for her to see me. "I'm headed up soon as well." I stared up at the stars a few minutes longer as the chaotic thoughts from inside rose up and swirled around again. With a sigh I stood and made my way to our rooms. Quickly I prepared for bed and was just settling in when Dementia came in from the club. She quickly prepared for bed, slipped in beside me, and turned out the light. Almost instantly she fell asleep. I lay awake staring up at the ceiling for a long time once more.

I woke to an empty bed and the smell of fresh coffee. Slowly I stretched and slid out of bed. I padded out into the main room and caught a picture perfect view of Dementia curled up in a papasan chair. Sunlight danced off the highlights in her hair as she read a book and sipped coffee. For a few minutes I just enjoyed the image. Then I tip toed back into the kitchen and poured myself coffee. I returned and settled myself into another chair. Rather than grabbing a book I stared out the window at the river and the cathedral in the distance. I was so lost in thought that I didn't really notice Dementia speaking at first. "Huh? Sorry, just lost in thought..."

"Would that be because it's unfamiliar territory?" She laughed when I stuck my tongue out at her. "Best be careful with that. Some might take it as an invitation."

I started to flip her off, laughed, and said instead, "Go ahead, pick on me. I have coffee, I can take it."

"I was just wondering if you were ready for food yet, and if you slept well. You seemed kind of restless when I woke up in the middle of the night."

"I slept." Reluctant to tell her what was really on my mind I covered instead with, "All that talk of our pasts did make me restless... Food would be good."

"I didn't mean to dredge all that up, your past that is..."

"I know, just once in a while it hits me. I mean someone like Erick was dead anyway, so whatever he chose didn't matter to his survivors. I could have chosen to stay. I would probably have died of boredom, I'm not sure I would have been able to find interesting work, but I would have been able to still see my friends and sister..."

"It's not too late to go back. It'd be hard to explain the long absence, but you could try..."

"No...no. I think about it sometimes, but I don't think I could... I like too many things about here to want to give it all up. I'll be ok...now about that breakfast..." I finished through a half hearted grin.

Later in the afternoon I headed down to the dance floor for a quick band rehearsal. The others were already set up and ready to go. We quickly ran through a few of our newer songs before checking that everything was ready for the evening's performance. As Audrey headed out I stopped her to ask, "Got a few minutes?"

"Sure?" Audrey asked puzzled.

I paced a bit before asking, "Does this place change you?"

"Yeah, usually, how do you mean?"

"I find I'm not thinking the same way about some things any more."

"It can do that, could be just personal growth as well though. The changes we see most often are someone arrives looking the way they did in the Realms, then they slowly morph into how they see themselves. Sometimes the difference is quite amazing, sometimes you'd barely notice."

"Oh." I slumped down on a stool and leaned my head in my hands. "It just feels like so much of what I thought isn't important anymore and it's really confusing me."

"That happens. It does help to talk about it. You and Dementia seem to be really good friends, how about her?"

"I would, just..."

"I think I can guess. It involves her in some way and you don't want to say anything until you have whatever it is sorted out a bit more..."

"Great guess. You got it."

"Well, you can do it that way, although sometimes things have a way of coming up before you're ready."

That was like a hard slap in the face. I gave a heavy sigh and explained, "It's just I've been telling her a couple of things about me that were true in the Realms. Now that I've been here and experienced more things I find that they aren't as true any more. I'm just not sure how not true they've become. I don't want to hurt her with them."

"So, as you would say as bartender, just talk to her. Put it like that and let her decide how she wants to deal with it. One thing I would say is Eternia is a more dangerous place than the Realms. It is often best not to wait to tell someone something. You might suddenly loose the chance."

"Yeah," I said slowly, unconsciously rubbing the new scar on my arm. "Thanks, see you tonight."

Slowly I stood and made my way out onto the back platform. I took the stairs down and crossed the tracks. At the river I turned right and followed along the bank until I came to the spill-way from the upper hills. There was a small patch of hardy grass that I singled out to flop down on. For a long time I just listened to the water, continually pushing any thoughts away as fast as they came. Eventually the sun and the sounds lulled me into a light sleep.

I awoke a while later when the sun had slanted down behind the buildings on the far bank. Stiff and a bit chilled I stood up slowly, stared into the rushing water and mumbled, "Well, that didn't help much." I slowly walked back to the Cathouse, arriving as the red light of sunset faded in the distance.

"Hey, you ok?" Dementia called from behind the bar.

"Yeah, went out for a walk along the river and fell asleep on the bank. I guess I must have needed it. Now I'm stiff though." I smiled and said, "I'm going to grab a quick hot bath, get into costume, and be back down." I was about to add something else but stopped at the last minute, still too uncertain to give it voice.

I returned a while later dressed in my "bride" costume for the evening performance. In the kitchen I wolfed down a burger and retired to the dressing rooms to finish my makeup.

I took over behind the dance floor bar once the band had finished for the evening. As soon as I had taken quick stock of the bar and settled into the night's routine Erick flopped down on an empty stool. "Hey, great performance tonight! I really liked some of the love song things you did. Are those new?"

"Yeah, we've been working on them for a while but tonight was the first time we used any of them."

"Who's the drummer, she's one interesting lady. I love the cat makeup. Could you get me a blood wine when you get a chance?"

"Nightshade? She prefers to keep her non-stage identity to herself. Sometimes she hangs around after a performance. Tonight I think she wanted to get home." I had to hide a smile as I saw Audrey swagger down the steps from the entry level without her Nightshade makeup. I kept up the charade as Audrey stepped up to the bar and asked, "So was the band any good tonight?"

"I thought we played well. You'd have to ask someone else for an unbiased view though. Maybe Erick has an opinion. Erick?"

"I thought they were great. They did some new stuff that was excellent. Especially the drum parts."

"If Erick's response is typical the new stuff we did tonight was well received."

"Good to hear. Well, time for me to get some dancing in. See you in a bit. Nice to meet you, Erick." Audrey wove her way through the crowd and onto the dance floor.

"Not dancing tonight?"

"No, I wanted to thank you for telling me to talk to Dementia."

"I'm glad you did as well. It can save lots of misunderstandings."

"So, as bartender you must get plenty of lonely people coming to you for advice. What do you tell them?"

"Actually, not as many as you'd think. Advice, keep your options open and don't come on too strong. Standard stuff like that. Otherwise I have a strict no interference policy. Now I'm off to get your drink."

"So you won't point out the lonely people? I could offer to pay, but it doesn't work that way here." Erick asked when I returned.

"Just stop being desperate and people will like you more. You've been here what now? About four days? Let yourself settle in and decide who you are. Then look for companionship." I looked at him a moment trying to figure out what his reactions might be then said in mock severity, "This is not a meet market. We run a good clean family place here." He seemed to think about that for a bit and then headed out onto the dance floor. The rest of the night passed quickly in a haze of drink orders.

Again Dementia found me on the back platform as the club wound down for the night. "Hi. You still ok?"

'I am now,' I thought silently before answering, "I'm ok. God, Erick is a walking hormone bomb. Tonight he was asking about available people I might know."

"Oh right, something I did forget to mention, those who die to come here often have an intense period of adjustment. It has to do with how the new body works or something. I remember being miss mega-bitch for almost a month before I figured it out. As a Walker you don't have to deal with that. You may slowly change into who you think you are, but the wild hormonal and emotional things won't hit you."

"What sort of changes happen to Walkers?"

"You can expect some physical form changes if your mental self image doesn't match your physical reality. Some attitude changes as the expectations of others give way to what you really believe underneath. That's mostly it."

"Mostly?"

"Sometimes Walkers end up being restless and unsettled. I don't think it happens every time, but it is a risk and I've seen it happen to some. Well, that's it for me. I'm headed up."

"Me too." We walked in companionable silence to our rooms. Several times I tried to speak but each time I couldn't quite figure out what I really wanted to say. Once we were settled in and the lights were off I tried again. This time I almost made it until I realized Dementia was already asleep. After staring at the ceiling a while I turned to watch her profile in the dim star light filtering in the window. It was the star light that finally allowed me to decide. Settling down I snuggled up close and placed an arm protectively over her. "Sleep well beautiful one."

I woke first in the morning and rather than hop out of bed like I had every morning before I snuggled close to Dementia and lay listening to her breath. When she showed signs of waking I started to pull away, then thought of Audrey's advice and last night and remained where I was. Sleepy brown eyes opened and looked into my wide awake green ones. "Hi," I breathed softly then I lost my nerve when I saw confusion appear in her eyes. Quickly I rolled out of bed and looked back at Dementia, "I'm going to make us some coffee, then there's some things I'd like to explain..."

It took me twice as long as normal to make the coffee. My hands shook as I measured and set it to brewing. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and sweat poured down my back. When the coffee was done I poured two partial cups, so I wouldn't spill them with my shaking, and headed back to the bedroom.

It looked like Dementia was as nervous as I was as I sat uneasily on the end of the bed and began, "I've been thinking about the things I said when I arrived. And the things I've said since. They may have been true then, but they don't seem so very important any more." I looked down nervously before continuing, "I'm falling in love with you. I didn't mean to and I don't understand it, but I am. I know I've pushed you away ever since arriving so I'll understand if you don't want this."

"Hey, I'd like you to fall in love with me. I just want you to be sure it's right for you." Dementia patted the bed near her, "You want to come back here?"

I scooted up and settled into the crook of Dementia's arm. I tipped my head up, stared into warm brown eyes, and kissed Dementia softly. "Mmmm, better than I could have imagined!" A long time later we sipped cooked down coffee and talked into the afternoon.

The Cathouse staff immediately noticed something had changed when we walked into the kitchen. Delirium grinned at me when I came into the kitchen for an order and said, "About fucking time boss. The tension was so thick between you two we could have served it on desert plates."

"Yeah, well..." I answered back, grinning like a fool. "It sure feels good now."

Once again Erick sat down at the bar when he saw I was on duty. "Hey, just thought I'd let you know I'm going out on my first mission tomorrow. I can't wait! At last, something to do."

"Great. How long is it?"

"A short one, maybe two days at most. It's to pick up some stuff that was missed by the first team in." Erick looked closely at me. "You seem happy today."

"I am! I figured out something that had been bothering me for quite a while. Good luck on that mission by the way."

"Oh yeah! I am so stoked! I gotta dance some energy off. I'll be back." He practically bounced his way over to the dance floor and powered his way through several tracks. When he came back to the bar it was only for a drink and water then he was gone again.

I jumped at a touch from behind. "Hey, how's it going down here?"

I relaxed into warm arms and a quick hug when I recognized Dementia's voice. Smiling up at her I said, "Hey yourself. It's going good. Our friendly new recruit is going out on a mission tomorrow. He's so excited he can barely contain himself. I'll be right back, orders to take..." I hurried through the orders and returned. "So, what you doing later? Want to go watch some stars?"

"I'd love to. You know, there's a roof access upstairs and I just happen to have the only key..." Dementia grinned evilly.

"Ooooh, wicked one! I'm so there!" I replied with my own grin. "We have talented help, we could skip out for the night..."

"Now who's the evil one? I'll arrange it and send Delirium down to take over."

Ten minutes later Delirium came down the steps and said, "Ok boss, you're done for the night. Go find your lady friend and forget about us." I bounded up the stairs and out onto the roof. The sight stopped me in my tracks. Dementia was lounging on a pile of pillows in a low cut frilly black dress that would have been barely decent in the club. Beside her was a low table with an ice bucket and a bottle of champagne. "Wow!"

"Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come over here?" I gave her a lazy smile and seductively stalked toward her. Slowly I settled down beside her and planted tiny little kisses all over her face.

Morning found us tangled up together in bed. Neither of us leapt forth to make coffee. A couple of times one of us would start to slip out only to spot the other and settle back in for one more kiss. It wasn't until the call of a full bladder pulled Dementia out of bed that coffee was made.

That night when we walked into the kitchen together the rest of the club crew clapped and gave us cat calls. Delirium summed it up best with a resounding, "Way to go boss!" The news spread through the club like wild fire since we made constant excuses to check how the other one was doing. A couple of times we even slipped out onto the dance floor for a couple of slow dances.

Two nights later Erick flopped down at the bar again. "Wow, what a trip! There's this hot babe I just met during the mission. Her name's Audrey. I think you kind of know her, she was asking about the band a couple of nights ago? Hey and congratulations on stealing Dementia away from me. Nothing personal but I didn't think you were her type."

"Erick, are you always this blunt, or is it just something in me that brings it out in you?" I asked somewhat annoyed.

"It's just you. You are a friend and I can be direct with my friends. So anyway, this mission was great! Lots of danger from unstable buildings and old security devices and such, not to mention the unexploded bombs and the like, but everyone just waded in anyway. It was such a rush! I can't wait to go out again. I wonder if Audrey is going on the next one? She was so cool, working as hard as the rest of us and all..."

"Do the words chauvinist pig mean anything to you?"

"Hey, I've known my share of white trash, I've seen movies, why?"

"Because...oh never mind." I shook my head and left to get him a drink. By the time I returned he was bending the ear of the person on the next stool about the joys of missions.

The next day Audrey cornered me after practice, "Hey, congratulations! I hear you have a new love. And she's hot besides!"

"Yeah, it's really cool. Thanks for your advice. It helped a lot."

"Speaking of advice, do you have any about Erick? He seems to talk to you a lot when you're behind the bar."

"What kind of advice?"

"How to get him to back off a bit? I might be interested if I didn't feel like he was some weird sort of stalker or something. Last mission I couldn't go anywhere without him being there 'helping'."

"Dementia found the direct approach worked best. He's nice enough, just not well socialized. Once Dementia told him to back off he pretty much did. I keep telling him to stop with the desperation and things will be better for him. I keep hoping it'll work."

"I'll try a combination of those ideas then, thanks."

"Yeah, no problem."

Over the next few months Erick continued to go on every mission he could. Each time he would come back excited and rambling. Always he told me all about it. Fortunately his obsessiveness over the women around him moderated after the first month and a half. Only if Audrey was a part of the mission would he come back and try and get information from me about her. He asked Audrey out a few times, however she never agreed, always managing to find a reasonable excuse. Still he kept trying.

The Cathouse continued to expand in popularity until it was routinely crowded every night, often from opening until closing. The nights when our band would play would pack people in even more tightly. Dementia continued to have visions of disasters and each time we got the info to Merris in time to prevent any serious injury to any Erternians.

About a year after my arrival things changed again. Once again things started out like any other mission. Erick chattered excitedly at the bar on the night before the scheduled departure. Audrey had come in to practice that day and told the rest of us she was heading off on a three day mission. Le Mort had added he was also going along. From the bits and pieces I received it sounded like a much larger mission than was typical. Two trains were scheduled and three separate teams were being gathered.

I mentioned the mission to Dementia after closing. At first she didn't seem very concerned about it. However as the night went on she grew more and more restless until she bolted awake in the late hours. "We need to go on that mission."

"We do?" I mumbled uncertainly, still not awake.

"We do. Something's going to happen that we should try to prevent." Dementia grabbed the com and told dispatch while I struggled to stay awake. "We can go back to sleep for a little while. The mission doesn't leave until mid morning."

Morning found us at Central Station with the others for the trip. A well coordinated team was loading supplies and equipment while another group was organizing the workers. "Name?" One of them asked Dementia when it was our turn.

"Dementia," That stopped him briefly. He flipped through several pages on his clipboard and said, "Merris left a message for you. She would like for you and Ennui to be at the team leader briefing. For now you will be in the first train." He assigned her a seat and moved on to me where he repeated the request and assigned me the seat nearest Dementia. Two hours later the trains were underway.

The mood on our train was a strange mix of a little nervousness, a bit of tension, and quite a bit of enthusiasm and high spirits. Meanwhile a curious little soap opera style scene was playing out with Erick. Erick was talking with Le Mort while casting quick glances at Audrey. Audrey was ignoring the fact Erick was watching her and instead was talking with Dennis, one of the three team leads, about what he knew about the mission. Several of the support group were going over materials and food allocations.

When we pulled into Portal Station we joined Fritz, the mission leader, Dennis, and Rick, the other team lead, in a small conference room where Merris was already waiting. She began as soon as we were seated. "You are headed to Delestra 6, which has recently seen massive civil war. Many of its major cities and industrial centers have been destroyed. There are a few survivors, however they live in areas your teams are not going to be touching on today. The mission is the university district of one of the major cities. Fritz and team one will be working in the archeological center, the art center, and the engineering library. Dennis and team two will take three underground vaults from the university toward town square. Each should be accessible from the subway system. You will have cutters and excavating equipment at your disposal should you require it. Rick and team three will take the main art museum, the primary library, and the philosophy library. The first train will remain at the university center for teams one and three to load. The second train will take team two and receive the items they recover. Here are the data packages for the recoveries. Anyone have any questions? No? Then we should be finished. I need to talk to these two a moment longer, then we'll clear you for departure." Merris handed out three large packets of information and waited while the others filed out. "Dementia, I'm not sure what you've seen..."

"Not much... Just enough to know we need to be out there."

"I'm updating your com and giving Ennui one as well. These will allow the two of you to have a secure channel in case you need to separate. They also have a secure channel back here to Dispatch in case you need to update us as well." She took Dementia's old unit and replaced it with two slightly smaller but definitely newer replacements.

I looked nervously between the two of them. "Do you know something I don't?"

"Not really, just a strong feeling that the two of you may need to talk privately in the future." She walked us through the settings, including how to set them to monitor standard rescue mission channels while still allowing us to talk to each other privately.

Our arrival back at the train was the signal to roll once more. Just as I was getting comfortable Erick padded over. "So, what's the word? Any private information goodies to share?"

"Erick, you know better than that," Dennis interrupted. "You will get the information during the briefing just like everyone else. These two are friends of Merris and she probably wanted to wish them well." Erick looked doubtfully at us but moved away in front of Dennis.

"So he latched on to you as a friend instead of a lover." Dementia commented thoughtfully.

"Shut up, you." I growled back at her then gave her a kiss to take thing sting away. "He's more annoying that way."

She leaned back contentedly, "Better you than me. That's all I've got to say."

The mood of almost a party continued as we stormed on toward our destination. We we about an hour out when Dementia stiffened in her seat. For a moment I was afraid she would collapse but she only slumped forward when the vision released her. "Damn her, I hate it when she's right." She whispered to me.

"What?" I asked softly.

"We need to separate. I need to be with the first team and you need to be with the second." Her eyes turned haunted. "You need to be strong, it's not going to be pretty."

"Any details?"

"No, not really. There'll be many injuries but I don't know who or when yet. I don't want to freak those around us either, so I'm not going to push for them right now."

The last part of the trip was far less festive for the two of us. Once we arrived at the university I headed off to join team two. For a moment I thought Dennis was going to turn me back, but he relented at the last. With a muttered, "Stay close to someone experienced," we boarded the train. Le Mort, Audrey, and Erick were part of the group plus thirteen others I didn't know.

Dennis pulled out the contents of the data package and began the mission briefing. "Le Mort, you are one of the best finders, I've assigned you lead position. Erick, you are good at reading structures, I'd like you by Le Mort to spot dangerous sections before we are into them. Everyone else we will be using standard movement order. Ennui, since you are new to our little family, you stick close to Amanda. We'll pull equipment from the stores as needed rather than burdening ourselves with it to start. Anyone have any questions?" Dennis waited a few moments then finished up, "One last thing to be aware of. We have no secondary routes out of this. All our data shows only one remaining path through the subway system. Ok Tom, take us in slow." Dennis handed a com headset to Tom and donned the matching one. Soon we began to slowly ease forward.

Ten minutes later we descended into the dark hole of the subway system. Outside the train twisted piping, pushed aside concrete, and other debris shoved in perilously close. After an agonizing twenty minutes the train slowed to a stop at the first platform. Doors were opened on the cargo cars and powerful flood lights lit the scene. Le Mort and Erick went out first and swept the platform. Once they declared it safe the rest of us stepped out. Quickly Le Mort led the way through the subway terminal and into the target area. The first recovery was finished within an hour of our arrival.

Slowly the train crept along the subway tunnel to the next location where the process was repeated. Once again the recoveries were completed quickly. Then the train began creeping toward the final platform. When we were about three hundred meters away from the platform a deep boom echoed through the tunnel. The ground shuddered as broken concrete and dust rained down on the train. It banged and clanged off the roof leaving large dents in several locations. At last the train eased into the final station. The flood lamps one again illuminated the wreckage strewn platform. This one was far worse than the previous two. Large sections of the ceiling had crashed down leaving oddly shaped voids above. Piles of rubble created an obstacle path between the tracks and the access ways to the rest of the station. Debris spilled out of two collapsed passageways and the stairs to the surface were littered with rock and dirt.

Carefully Le Mort led the way toward the far passage which was the one indicated for best access to the target buildings. Erick was busy scanning the walls and ceiling as they went. Every so often he would place a hand on Le Mort's shoulder and hold him back while he took a closer look. Then they would move forward a bit more.

They cleared the final pile of rubble on the platform after ten agonizing minutes and stopped to wait for the rest of us. Once everyone was in position Le Mort eased his way into the passage. He had gone five feet when an explosion ripped through the right wall and shredded him with flying debris. Erick dove face down on the floor as black balls of energy crackled through the newly formed opening.

Debris rained from the ceiling. Large chunks dropped Dennis and several others as screams of pain echoed around the chamber. Frantically Audrey dragged Erick back out of the passage. Energy screamed along my nerves and flew into the hole before I even thought about it. High pitched shrieks told of successful hits. A second volley of black energy dropped even more chunks of the ceiling down on us.

Looking around at least half of us were down and not moving. An ugly grey form streaked from the hole and fired straight at me. I dodged desperately and fired back. It dropped as my blast caught it full in the face. "Fall back!" I screamed as another creature leapt through the hole. It dodged my next blast and sprang at me with impossible speed. Max let fly with yellow energy and caught it in the side. It dropped at my feet in a tangle of long arms and short legs. A gaping maw of teeth bifurcated the hideously deformed face. Wiry greyish black fur covered most of it and it twitched and gibbered as greenish fluid spilled from the wound Max had blasted in it.

Rapidly we scrambled back away from the shattered hole as numerous black balls of energy sizzled and snapped from within. We dove for cover behind various piles of rubble on the platform as Max and I fired back at the pursuing things. Valerie made a frantic run for the train and swung a digging cutter toward the passage. Firing the cutter randomly into the area she was rewarded with several shrieks of pain.

Suddenly a well placed black ball slammed into the digger and melted the front of it. Valerie dropped to the deck and lay still. Several more black bursts splashed against the side of the train. One of them burnt a hole through the side of the engine. Tom dove from the cab as dark smoke billowed out the cab door and the hole in the side. He staggered to the nearest group cradling his arm in a pained grip. Amanda took a quick look and turned to Mat. "I need an aid kit. Think you can get one?"

Mat dropped into a crouch and scrambled for the next section of rubble. Once there he grabbed the aid kit from Alexa and headed back. Energy balls sizzled into the rubble around him as he leapt for cover. He shrieked in agony when black fire seared across his ankle as he slid in behind Amanda. She grabbed the aid kit and began working on Tom. Once she finished with Tom she pulled the burnt fabric back from Mat's ankle. Charred flesh covered the ragged burn. She slapped a dressing on it as she spoke, "You'll need a full healer to look at your ankle when we get back. Take this for the pain." She passed him a pill. "Let me know if it isn't enough."

Max and I fired back at the emerging figures when we could get clean shots. We were keeping them back but we couldn't drive them away far enough to move either. The situation rapidly degenerated into a standoff. At one point Amanda tried to make a run for Valerie but quickly scrambled back behind cover as she was immediately targeted.

Just when it seemed completely hopeless I noticed movement from the subway tunnel. Back in the distance three figures moved stealthily toward the platform. Carefully I began moving in that direction in case this was another flanking attempt. When they reached the end of the tunnel they broke and ran straight at the dark forces. Screaming and firing energy weapons they charged into the flanks of the enemy.

Black bolts rained down around them from the rapidly recovering forces. One of them dived across a pile of broken stone and rubble. Frantically it stood and clawed at itself until its backpack fell off. It sprang away from the pack as it flared into a bright explosion. For a moment the figure stood in apparent shock, until one of the others staggered from a blow to the head. Then with an animal howl of rage it launched itself into a mass of grey dark forces bodies. Energy shimmered and crackled around the now spinning figure as it dealt death on all near it. One of the other two stopped to watch for long moments, almost getting itself killed in the process. The dancing figure turned to the still figure and said, "Come, dance with me." The words rolled as a siren song through the tunnel drawing many of us to our feet. A black bolt sizzled into the ground in front of me and I yelled, "Down!" It was enough to break the spell and the rest of our team dropped back behind cover.

"What was that?" Audrey asked.

I just shook my head in puzzlement.

A blast of energy blasted rubble from the floor at the feet of the dancing figure. Another shriek echoed through the tunnel as it grabbed the nearest grey creature and hurled it back into the shadowy recesses of the passage. It returned to its dance of death and soon the dark forces were reduced to bodies scattered on the platform and in the mouth of the passage. The other two figures slowly approached the third. Slowly the shimmering faded and the third figure slumped in exhaustion. They turned and approached us where we huddled behind the debris. "Merris sent us to get you out of here. I am Sammi, this is Jemima," she said pointing to the second figure. "And this is Kali," she finished pointing to the one who had danced death with such wild abandon.

I hadn't expected our rescuers to be three women. Jemima was the tallest of the three, standing around six feet tall. She had short curly dark hair, brown eyes, and a pleasant round face. Sammi was the shortest of the three, probably just over five feet tall. Her face was aristocratic under braided long blonde hair. Both of them wore heavy work clothes now stained with greenish goo.

Kali was the most striking of the three. Her face was angular, softened only by a wavy riot of dark red hair. Her eyes were grey as the stormy sea. She was wiry and almost as tall as Jemima. When she moved it was with the grace of a cat or a professional dancer. Greenish ichor clung to her hair and face, bits of greyish flesh clung under her fingernails and spattered her ill-fitting olive drab jump suit. She didn't seem to notice it as she came forward to meet us.

Jemima asked, "Where is your driver?"

"Tom is," Audrey replied, pointing to Tom where he sat cradling a broken arm.

"Are you able to drive?" Jemima asked. He shook his head. "Anybody else know how?" The rest of us shook our heads no as well. She looked back at Tom, "Do you think you could give Kali enough instruction that she could take the train out? We need to..."

"What about..." I started to say.

"Lover, you need to get out of their soon. The creatures are tunneling through just up the line to cut you off." Dementia's voice broke in from the com.

"I can try..." Tom started to reply.

"We need to go. All of us." I broke in rapidly.

"Wha..." Tom started to say.

"Trust me," I said with absolute conviction. "We'll be cut off in minutes if we don't. Everyone, get the wounded on the train. We are leaving."

Amanda began giving quick instructions for gathering our various wounded and getting them aboard. Tom stood shaking his head. "We aren't going anywhere. I was trying to tell you the engine is damaged."

"Kali, think you could fix it?" Jemima asked. "Sammi and I can put up a shield in the passage before they come back. It should slow them down a bit."

"Maybe I can. Come on Tom." Tom trailed slowly after Kali as she hurried to the engine and disappeared on board.

I turned to board when Dementia's voice called from the com, "Are you moving yet? Come on love, talk to me."

"Not yet, trouble. What do you see?"

"A group of opposition breaking through the tunnel ahead of you in two minutes."

"Where?"

"Just around the first bend as the train starts up the incline to the surface."

"I can get a shield item set up..." I said into the com.

"No, that's needed where Sammi is. This will be a two prong attack."

I turned to Max. "Max, you're with me. The rest of you, whatever happens, don't let the train stop for anything."

"Take the Power Shield," Sammi called.

"No, you need it to block the passageway by the stairs, where you were going a minute ago." I started moving up the platform to where the tunnel headed out. I never thought to wonder if Max would follow, I just knew he would.

On the edge of the platform I switched on the light I had grabbed and began walking quickly up the line. "Max, the uglies will be blasting a hole into the side of the tunnel just around the first bend ahead. We need to hold them back until the train passes. Try not to kill them. The more of them that die, the more of us die."

"What's that?" Max asked as strange words burst from the back of my throat in a odd rhythmic pattern. As we rounded the bend and approached the incline they surged to a wailing crescendo as debris blasted out from the wall in front of us. A titanic thunderclap of sound echoed down the tunnel as Max blasted an energy bolt into the hole. My hands shot forward streaming lines of purple fire. It splashed on the tunnel walls and thickened into a tightly woven web of energy.

Black energy slammed into it as the creatures fought to push through. At one corner the web began to tear. Max slammed a couple of quick bolts into the clot and they staggered back.

I sucked more energy from deep inside and spun the web tighter. More black energy snapped and sizzled along the web. My vision swam toward blackness as I tried to pull even more energy. In the distance I could see the warm red of the train engine. It called to me in a voice of power. Two more figures dashed through as the web wavered briefly. Drawing on my last reserves I strengthened it once more.

Max dropped one of the figures but the other darted up the tunnel. Dim red rose to bright yellow as the train wound up in the background. Resisting the siren call I instead dug deep into the ground for more to strengthen the web. Long dormant energies rose sluggishly in oily brown waves. It flowed into the web as another figure was prying itself through the strands. The energy awoke suddenly flooding my nerves with bubbling fire. Head back I shrieked in silent agony as the web flared into ultraviolet brilliance. The creature clawing through vanished with a scream and a puff of greasy black smoke.

I fell to my knees as the train engine reached power behind us. My vision collapsed to a dark tunnel as through a dim purple haze I heard the sound of wheels on the track. Black energy slammed into the web and back through the power lines to me. Ice fought with fire as the energies collided in my nerves. Screams of agony clawed out my throat.

"Ennui, are you ok? Ennui..." Dementia called from the com.

"Pain, fire, ice...must hold..."

"No, stop. Let go lover. It will kill you..."

"Must hold...fuck, must hold..." the words became my mantra as my world collapsed to the battle of power in my nerves. Desperately I struggled to keep the web in place.

Hands pulled at me but I was held to the ground by the forces surging through me. Dimly, in the distance I heard Amanda shouting, "Let go of it. We can't move you until you let go."

I pushed and struggled against the dancing flames of pain until I was too weak. "Can't..." I moaned. At last it was too much and I faded into blackness with Dementia's voice echoing in my ears.

Fire woke me. Fire burning in every fibre, screaming pain that I could not escape. Paralyzing pain where all I could do was lie rigid with tears running down my face. Erick noticed almost immediately and called Amanda. She took one quick look, said, "Neural burn," jabbed a needle in my arm, and I faded back into soft, comforting darkness.

I awoke in a warm soft bed with arms around me. For long moments it all seemed a bad dream until I opened my eyes and saw Dementia. Her eyes were haunted and her face still held tear tracks. "You're awake. Are you in any pain?"

"No," I could almost remember being in pain, but it seemed fuzzy and far away. "What is neural burn?"

She pulled me into a desperate hug, almost tight enough that I couldn't breathe. "It's when you channel so much magical energy through yourself that you burn out your own nerves. It's usually fatal. Don't ever do it again, please!"

"Le Mort..."

"I know. I saw it too late." Her tears started again, "God damn it, I saw it too late. What's the fucking use of this gift if my friends die?" She screamed at the ceiling. Rage and grief washed through her dwarfing my own.

"You got the rest of us out. We held them back long enough."

"I know, just..." Fresh tears replaced the old ones on her face. I grabbed her into a tight hug back. "I know, just, gods, I want so much to keep us from dying. Do you hear me? Please, just let me get the visions soon enough."

"What about Valerie and Dennis, and the others? You got all them out right? Is there any word?"

"Yes, you saved them all with that crazy stunt of yours. Dennis and Valerie are still in hospital for observation and everyone else has been treated and released."

"I can't believe it. It all happened so fast." Slowly the shock and exhaustion was giving way to the riot of feelings the disaster had left me with. "I didn't like him much but I never wanted him to die. Damn it. He was an ass hole, but he was our ass hole. It's not fair." I wanted to cry and I wanted to hit something and I wanted to curl up in a ball and have it all go away.

The dam in my head was giving way when Dementia's com sounded. She gave it a startled look and then picked it up. "Merris? You're down here?" She held the mute button and asked, "Would you be ok with seeing Merris?" At my nod she continued into the com, "Sure, come on over. Where you coming from? Ok..." she narrated the way to the Cathouse and then shut down the com.

I was just settling back into Dementia's arms when a voice called from our entry stairs, "Hey, anybody here? It's Audrey. Hello?"

"You want to see anybody right now?" Dementia asked softly.

I nodded slowly and then called, "We're here. Come on up." We threw on robes and emerged into the living area a few minutes later. "What's up?"

"I wanted some company. I hope that's ok..." her voice trailed off. She collapsed into the nearest chair and huddled in on herself.

I crossed to her quickly and held her close. Dementia moved up behind me and held us both. For a very long time we sat huddled together holding on to each other as anchors in the storm.

"I can't stand to be alone right now. Damn him. I was just going to give him a chance. After the mission. I was going to give him a chance!"

Dementia stroked her hair and murmured gentle sounds. "Stay here tonight. None of us should be alone."

"I don't know... I think I'll be ok. If not, I'll let you know...ok?"

"Sure. We're here and it's no problem, really."

"Tomorrow I'd better tell the band about this..." I started slowly.

"They already know. You've been sleeping two and a half days. The healers told me it was a healing trance of some type. I had to tell them when I saw them. They asked. What's happening Dementia? We aren't supposed to be attacked like this. There's supposed to be a truce isn't there?"

"There was. Something happened. One of the dark groups found a way to break it that didn't allow for immediate reprisals. That's all I know right now."

"But it'll be fixed, right? Things will return to the way they should be, right?" Audrey asked in a panic tinged voice.

"I don't know Audrey, I just don't know."

"Is the band ok? Maybe we should get together..."

Feeble though it was the distraction seemed to help. Some of the terror drained from Audrey's eyes as she replied, "I told them I'd get them when you were feeling up to visitors. They want to see you. Make sure you're ok and all."

"Sure, later today? I'd like a little more alone time before seeing them."

"Ok, we'll stop by before club time tonight. If you still aren't ready let me know and I'll bring them back another time." I smiled in thanks as she headed toward the stairs out.

A few minutes later Merris called up the stairs. "Hey, you guys ok? Can I come up?"

"Sure," I answered.

"I was down from Portal Station and thought I'd see how you two were doing."

"Down from the station? Merris, are you ok?" Dementia asked seriously.

Merris gave a self deprecatory laugh, "Yeah, kind of odd, I know. It's just there were quite a few people involved this time and I wanted to see how those of you at the center of it were doing."

"What are we supposed to say?" Dementia asked.

"Yeah, good question really. Better than my inane ones about how are you."

"I didn't mean it quite that way..."

"I did though. I guess I really wanted to see you two and...well, just see you again. It was too close and I ..." Unshed tears appeared in her eyes.

"Thank you," I replied. I was going to say more but instead reached out. She slid in for a close hug. Dementia wrapped her arms around us and we stayed that way for a long time, reassuring ourselves that we still existed. "Thank you for sending the reinforcements. Don't know where you found the fighters but they were very welcome."

Merris gave a short bark of a laugh. "Circumstance mostly. Sammi and Jemima were showing a possible new recruit around."

"Kali was a new comer? Holy shit!"

"You're one to talk Ennui. Sammi told me about that little web stunt you pulled. You never mentioned you were that level of battle mage."

It was my turn to blush bright red. "Uh, would you believe I didn't know?"

"I would. I think you and Kali were alike in that. She arrived four days before she rescued you. To hear Erick tell it she was an avenging angel. To hear her tell it she didn't do anything."

"I know the feeling... Erick is often prone to exaggerate, especially if a woman impresses him, however Kali was every bit of what he said and maybe more. She took down a large number of the attackers, fixed the locomotive, and drove it back. Is this normal? Arrive and almost immediately end up in the thick of it?" I asked.

"It wasn't..." Dementia replied.

"Not until very recently," Merris seconded. "Another sign that things have drastically changed. I don't suppose you have any visions or ideas about this do you Dementia?"

"No, not really. I just see flashes of things, really bad things, but I don't know much about the where or when or how." Her face was drawn and pale when she finished. "I'm sorry Merris."

"Don't be. I've learned to try not to borrow too much trouble at any given time." She tried to give us a smile, but it looked rather forced. "I'll leave you two alone then. I need to get back. I'm glad you both are here!" She turned and left as quickly as she had arrived.

Late that afternoon Audrey returned with Beth and Maggie. Both looked as shocked as I felt. We sat in the main room and mostly just looked at each other after the first long hugs. Finally Maggie broke the silence, "I...I would like to keep the band going. It would be a way to honor his memory." Beth nodded her agreement. Audrey stared at the floor and I was uncertain.

"I guess...I agree...just I'm no singer..." I added slowly.

"I can give it a try," Maggie replied hesitantly. "I sang a bit in the past."

"I'd like to start practicing as soon as you're feeling up to it, Ennui. It'd help me get past this, I hope anyway," Beth added.

"Ok, they say it works in the Realms anyway, keeping busy... How about we practice tomorrow?"

That night I was down at the dance floor bar sitting on a tall stool. I was taking care of some drink orders but mostly I was trying to distract myself from thinking about the mission and Le Mort. Delirium, known to many as The Monk, was doing all the work, although she would tell anyone she was just assisting. Just when I was thinking about giving up for the evening Erick sat down in at the bar. "How are you doing? They wouldn't tell me after they pulled you on the train."

"I'm ok," I replied slowly.

"Yeah, it's hard to get all settled isn't it. I didn't know him that well but we worked together on several missions. Doesn't seem it should be that way. Should have been me. I usually go first."

"Someone very wise told me you can't take the blame for a random occurrence. It was hard to follow then and it's hard to follow now. But it is true."

"That's it?" He looked at me with loathing and incredulity. "He's a member of your band and that's it?"

"No, that's not it. I miss him. I wish he were still here and it hurts like fuck to know he's gone. But he's gone and I can't bring him back." I hissed through sudden tears. I fled through the kitchen, not stopping until I was back in our rooms upstairs. There I flung myself on the bed and tried to cry out all the agony.

Four nights later I was behind the bar once more after a rough few days with the band. We were trying to get past Le Mort, and sometimes we were almost making it, but it was still hard going. I was having trouble focusing on the club. Just when I was about to give up for a bit and go sit on the loading dock for some air I saw a flight suit clad figure stalk down the stairs. Controlled dark fury rolled off her in waves and people scattered to get out of her way. Erick trailed along like a love-lorn puppy, unmindful of the chaos roiling around her. She turned and found an open part of the dance floor and as she did her face revealed it was who I had thought.

Kali began dancing in a sharp, angry way but rapidly she settled into her more graceful movements. Erick danced over to her and remained in close proximity for several songs. By the sixth one I could see him starting to flag. Kali was still going strong. At the end of the eighth song Erick staggered over to the bar and ordered a large water and a blood wine from Delirium who was once more assisting me.

He turned to say something after he slammed his water but interrupted himself when he saw Kali approaching. He turned as she settled onto a stool nearby. She smiled and said, "Hey, battle mage, didn't know you worked here."

"Hey, warrior woman, what brings you in here? I'm Ennui by the way. We didn't get introduced in all the excitement."

"Heya Ennui, good to meet you. Great job on that defense screen in the tunnel. You really save our asses! The music brought me in," Kali answered. "Could I get another of those morphine things?"

"Morphine drip?" She nodded. "Sure, coming right up. Anything for you Erick?"

"I'm fine."

As I returned with Kali's drink I heard him ask, "What happened earlier? You want to talk about it?"

I watched her, curious about what he meant so I saw the haunted look that flickered across her face before she answered firmly, "No." She slammed the drink I had just placed in front of her, smiled a twisted smile, and stood. "You coming?" she asked as she hurried back onto the floor.

"You sure do pick them don't you?" I asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That's one intense lady there my friend."

He looked at me with wonder shining in his eyes, "I know! She's even more intense than Dementia or Audrey."

"Have you ever thought about finding someone less complicated? They are out there you know." While I was speaking he turned to watch her on the dance floor. Truth to tell I could see why he was fascinated. Still, she had that jangly kind of energy that made you want to run from her almost as fast as toward her.

"I don't want to be bored."

That stung, even though I knew he wasn't directing it at me. "Less intense doesn't mean boring. God, you can be such an ass hole."

"What?" He asked, still distracted by the dancing Kali. "She sure is a great dancer. Look at that energy and grace."

I tried once more, "Erick, listen to me, please. You don't want this one. She's trouble. Please, trust me."

"Trouble? She wouldn't be allowed into Eternia if she was dangerous. That's the way it works."

"She's trouble for you. Look at her. You can see the demons dancing around in her head. Watch her eyes. Watch her move. Remember how you were when you first arrived? That's where she is right now." I had seen something else as well. Something that was just a little bit off. Once in a great while it was like she was tripping over herself, almost like she wasn't used to herself. It was like the way I had felt a couple of times right after I had arrived.

"But I settled in. Sure it took a little bit and a few smack downs from you and Dementia, but I'm ok. Maybe it's my turn to help someone else." He broke into my thoughts with his words.

"Erick," I said carefully as I took his hands, "Look, I don't want to hurt you here but she's gay for one..."

"You know that's not hard and fast here!"

It snapped into place then. Somehow I just knew. I took a deep breath and said, "You didn't hear this from me since it's hers to tell and not mine. She's a Shadow Walker, ok? Are you sure you want to get involved with a Walker?" I stopped for a moment and looked down before continuing, "Look, she seems nice enough, if a bit cold. Just be her friend for a while before you put the moves on her alright? Get to know her first, ok?"

Erick pulled back from me, I don't think he had heard anything after I had said 'Walker'. "A Walker? How can you know that? How could she be?"

"If you look you can see it..."

"No you can't! There aren't any signs. Everyone knows that. It's how they manage to blend in here, even if they don't really belong." He was too busy ranting to see me flinch at that. "You're wrong. I know you are. She's just a mixed up new arrival. We've all seen it before."

"I know she is a Walker." He paused for a short breath at that and then was starting to speak again. "You want to know how I know?" I waited until he nodded. "Because I am as well." If it hadn't been such a serious conversation his look would have been funny. For a moment all animation fled, then a look of profound pity appeared on his face.

"I don't want pity and neither will she! It's as much a gift as a curse regardless of what you think!" I snapped. Suddenly angry beyond words I turned and stalked away.

"Ennui," he called from behind me. I turned coldly back to him and glared. "I'm...look...I'm sorry, ok? You startled me..." It thawed me a little, so I gave him a short nod and continued down the bar to get someone else a drink. By the time I returned to where he was I had calmed down some. He reached out to take my hand, "I didn't mean to hurt you. You're one of the best people I know here. Please, help me understand."

I nodded again and said slowly, "We can talk about this tomorrow, ok? During the day. It's not something to talk about right now."

"Ok," for a moment I thought he might say more, whether to put his foot back in his mouth or try and pull it out further I wasn't sure. At last he gave me a strained smile and asked, "When shall I find you?"

"Around noon, here at the lower bar."

"Ok, he replied again. He stood and headed upstairs to his rooms.

Kali finished the next set then came back to the bar. She scanned quickly for Erick then waved me over. "Did you see where Erick went?"

"He headed out. Said it was getting late. Did you want another Morphine Drip?"

"Oh. Yeah, one more would be wicked, thanks."

I returned a little bit later with the drink. Once I handed it to her I turned to go, then stopped. Something prompted me to say, "Erick's a nice guy..."

Kali grinned at what she thought were the implications, "I'm not interested in him that way. He's yours as far as I'm concerned."

That brought a smile and a blush to my face, "No, that's not what I meant."

"Oh?"

"I was just wondering. He sometimes comes on a bit strong and I was wondering if he offended you or anything..."

Kali stared at me in puzzlement, "I guess I'm confused now."

"He's just a good friend of mine and I just wanted to let you know he's not a bad guy."

"I got that part," her tone was starting to cool considerably. "He's also fairly brave and a sensitive kind of guy in a lot of ways. I got that too... I guess I'm curious why you're taking the time to tell a relative stranger all this."

"Cuz he's got the hots for you and I thought you should be warned. Erick latches on to anyone that seems interesting and it often annoys them. And...and I told him you are a Walker..." I trailed to a stop as I saw her tilt her head and regard me frostily.

"And you did that why, exactly?" Her voice was deceptively quiet and intensely menacing, "Don't you think that's going just a bit far?"

I nodded soundlessly but held my ground as I replied, "Yes, yes it is. I told him you were and I am. I told him to scare him away, or at least make him think. I told him so you wouldn't have to chase him away or hurt him. I didn't want him to go on about yet another crush. God, I don't know why it's so important to me."

"He's that good a friend then? That you'd risk the wrath of a stranger to protect him?" Something else appeared in her eyes. "I admire that." She sipped her drink and I saw some of the anger leave her. "What do you know of this Walker business?" She leaned across the bar again and said very quietly, "I can't get anyone here to answer many questions. Could you help me?"

For long moments all I could do was stare before answering, "I can try. I don't know how much I will be able to tell you though."

"Anything has to be better than nothing."

"I'm going to try and explain this to Erick tomorrow around noon. If you want you can drop by tomorrow as well and I'll tell you what I know. You can find us here."

"It's a date then." She finished her drink, stood, and headed back to the dance floor. As she turned she gave me an almost warm smile and said, "Thank you."

Dementia was in our rooms already when I arrived at the end of the night. She was alternately reading one of her favorite books and staring out into the night. Making sure she knew I was coming I sat on the floor next to her and leaned my head against her knee. "I had a strange conversation tonight."

"Let me guess, with Kali."

"You saw her too?"

"Briefly. She was talking to Erick. I think he was putting the moves on her."

"Big time, yeah. I tried to warn him off. Even told him something I probably shouldn't have..."

"He mustn't hook up with her. It's very dangerous for him. She's one of the signs I've seen. She means it's going to get much more dangerous outside Eternia." Dementia said very seriously.

"I thought the same. I don't know if I convinced him... She's a Walker you know."

"No, I didn't. Did she tell you?"

"I just knew. You can meet her again tomorrow. She's coming by to talk about Shadow Walkers with me."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No, but I think we should know more about her. She could be a very good friend. Makes me wonder sometimes, why am I here? You get the visions, Le Mort was a finder, Kali seems like she's destined for battles, what do I do? I help run a club. Seems strange to me..."

Dementia wrapped me in her arms. "You keep me sane, you help with a place where people can come to let off stress after hard missions. You can coordinate with Merris when I can't even see straight through my visions and you're a battle mage of considerable power."

"But you managed before me...and the magic stuff, well, it just had to be done."

"Very few could have 'just done it'. Besides, I wouldn't manage on my own any more."

"Yeah, I guess so," I agreed reluctantly and then lapsed into silence and let Dementia slip into sleep. I stared at the ceiling for a long time wrestling with the doubts that wouldn't quit. Several hours later I finally slept.

Erick found me first the next day. I was checking the bar apparatus when he walked up. There were dark circles under his eyes and he had that washed out look of hardly sleeping. Even his voice was flat as he said, "Hey, Ennui...about last night..."

"Yeah?" I said warily.

"I didn't mean...I'm sorry. What does it all mean anyway?"

"That's just it Erick. It doesn't mean much of anything. We aren't different, just because we arrived differently. This is still a place away from the Realms and a place of healing. Just because we could go back doesn't mean we would want to. I don't understand why this is an issue with so many. Do I seem like the restless type?"

"Ah, but is it really that simple?" Kali spoke from the door. "Sorry I'm late, I forgot to get directions last night for the open doors. I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Kali!" Erick visibly brightened as I rolled my eyes. Kali noticed and grinned my way.

"How do you mean that?" I asked suspiciously.

"Just are you really that settled? Does it come with time? I, for one, am still restless and uneasy here."

"Give yourself time. Maybe Walkers are generally restless and maybe they aren't. Does it really matter? What if others are restless as well? Why should it get in the way of helping out?"

"What do you know about Shadow Walkers and the rest?"

"What do you want to know?"

"How it works. What's the what of it all. The why's and the wherefore's..."

I had to laugh at that. Kali's glare forced me to answer, "I don't know either. I'm still trying to figure out why me. Dementia's still trying to figure out why her and she's been here for decades. If you want answers you might have to go to an afterlife and then, I suspect, you'll only get the 'official' story based on that godling's view." Kali growled low in her throat, for a moment sounding like a large predatory cat. "I'm sorry. I want to help you, and myself, and Erick, but I don't know either."

"But haven't you gotten anything from being here? Anything at all?"

"Maybe a little. Walkers seem to be the first choice for interacting with the Realms. Walkers make the best people to return the found items to the Realms time streams and things like that. Sometimes they are used as recruiters, but not always. That's about all I've found out. It has something to do with being more visible in the Realms or something like that. Maybe Merris, head of dispatch, knows something." I added.

"She doesn't. I asked her a couple of days ago." Kali all but snarled.

"Then I'm sorry but you know as much as I now."

"Argh!" Kali hissed in frustration. "That seems to be the story of this place. No one knows anything or wants to talk about anything... I never was interested in the new age-y way of thinking and here I am in a world a friend and I created..."

"Whoa, what do you mean by that?" Erick asked.

"I read a story on the internet about this place and started writing to the person who had written it. We started collaborating on other stories about this world. Then after a thoroughly awful week this strange little tram showed up and offered me a ride. It dropped me off here...since then it's been an exercise in frustration trying to figure this place out..."

"Is that necessary? The figuring it out? Isn't it enough to be here in a place where what you do matters? That was why I came along when offered, I wanted to do something more important than the bullshit of the Realms." I asked.

"Yeah, that's part of why I stayed, but I still want to know about how all this works. The part of me that was writing in this world before still wants to understand it."

"So here's one for you. Do you think you and your friend were making this up or channeling it from what existed?"

"Ma..." Kali stopped abruptly, not sure what she wanted to believe now. "I don't know. I would have said making it up but it seems like it has life of its own. So maybe we were just seeing little pieces of the reality..."

"Would that be so bad?"

"No, no I guess not... I've got to go, things to do..." Kali stood abruptly.

"So do I," Erick popped in. I watched as he followed her into the day. I returned to my club preparation tasks.

That evening I was again at the dance floor bar when Kali came down from the main floor. She launched herself into dance before she even cleared the stairs. She whirled into the crowd and into an intricate routine. For song after song she kept moving, completely oblivious to the crowds watching her with interest. At last she seemed to come back to herself. At the end of the song she made her way to the bar. "Warrior woman," I greeted her.

"Battle mage," Kali smiled in return. "Could I get water and a Morphine Drip?"

"Certainly. It'll be right up."

When I returned with the drinks she said, "I'd like to talk to you a bit more, somewhere alone. Any way you can grab a few minutes?"

"Sure, just a minute." I slipped into the back for a few minutes and returned with Delirium. "Upstairs?" Kali nodded and I waved her around the end of the bar. She grabbed her drinks and followed me through the back way up to the our rooms above. I motioned her into one of the comfortable chairs and settled into another one. "So?"

Kali started abruptly. "Erick, I'd like you to tell me how to deal with Erick. He seems to think I'm interested in him. I'm not."

"Don't take this wrong ok? Erick falls in lust with any woman who shows intense reactions to anything. He latched onto you because you did what you did in the fight where he met you."

"So the next person that comes along will divert his attentions? Wicked awesome. Maybe I can find someone to do it sooner..."

"That's how it works with Erick."

"Are you interested in him?"

"Not at all," I answered with a bit of a laugh. "I already have someone. Someone unexpected...why am I telling you this?"

"Because I have a friendly face?" Kali answered almost sarcastically.

"Why are you so prickly?" Her comment stung.

Kali's eyes flashed as she stood and paced jerkily, "Because I'm terrified, ok?" She spun to stare back at me. "Look at me. This isn't me. I was..." she stopped abruptly and continued slightly more softly. "..different... when I came here. A nebbish, a frightened mouse quaking at the shadows. Ugly, dumpy, something you wouldn't bother to notice on the streets." I had to bite back a comment. It didn't seem possible Kali would ever be unnoticed. She barked a hash laugh and pushed shaky hands through her tangled hair. "Look at this," she said as she executed a perfect pirouette. "In the Realms I could barely walk without tripping and now..."

"I don't understand. Don't you want to dance?"

"Yes, more than anything..." Kali said softly as she folded down to the floor. Her nervous energy momentarily stilled. "This is everything I've always wanted and I am so scared I'll lose it." Tears sprang into her eyes and spilled over. "Every time I got something I wanted in the Realms it was taken away. How can this be any different? HOW?!?" The nervous energy pulled her to her feet in a graceful spring. She half danced, half stalked around the room.

"The Lady isn't a proxy godling. She is not that cruel."

Kali slowed, eyes downcast, "My heart knows, I think. My head, I don't know, my head and heart never really talked, you know?" she replied half bitter, half sad.

"Do they now?"

"Yes, no, maybe...I don't know. Gods," her hands pushed through her hair again as she stared up at the ceiling. "...I just wanted answers. This is the fucking afterlife and still there aren't any answers."

"What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know. Fuck!" Kali dropped back into the chair and stared up at the ceiling again. Suddenly she asked, "How do you do it?"

"What?"

"Get comfortable here? Believe it is really real?"

"Give yourself time. It took me a while to believe it as well. Just go easy on yourself. It's a hell of a shock to come here. Maybe even more for us Walkers, I don't know. Those that die, well, they have to know at some level, even if they can deny it because they still have form. You, me, we came here, but we could go back. I don't know about you, but I'm scared I will be forced to go back and I'm scared because I don't want to go back, but I do too. There are people I wasn't ready to be done with and yet, if I go back, is it really me, or the me they knew anyway?"

"I hated it there. So many times I was so close to ending it. I want to stay here so badly and it always seemed like the more I wanted something the less likely it was to happen, or to last if it did. When I was young I prayed for visions, for a mission, a golden path to take me the fuck out of there. I even made up crazy stories that were more real to me than where I was. One day I realized they could never be more than just stories and most of me died." She paused and the pause stretched out into silence.

"This is real. Believe it. Believe the Lady. You more than most should know that."

"What do you mean me more than most?"

"She touched you, anyone with eyes can see that. Where do you think that raw energy of yours comes from? Who do you think changed you?" I leaned forward, "Tell me, haven't you felt more alive, more yourself since you came here? She won't take that back. This dream is the true reality under the Realms."

"Maybe...maybe..." Kali sat forward and stared into the distance for long moments. Some of the crackling energy faded as she sat. When she looked at me again her eyes were almost calm. She blushed bright red as she asked, "Can I ask something..."

"You may..." I answered uncertainly, wondering what could turn her so red.

Kali turned even more red as she stammered, "How do the biological things work here? Will I...will I...bleed...each month? Do I have to worry about...ah...about getting pregnant?"

"Yes, you will still get periods here. You probably won't get PMS though. I used to get it bad some months, but I haven't here yet. Pregnancy, no. This is Death City after all. This is about healing and the like but it is not about new life."

"Ah, ok, thanks. I think I need to dance some more." Kali rose rapidly and headed toward the door.

Dementia walked in shortly after Kali had left and found me staring out into the night. "You ok? Delirium said you left to talk with Kali."

"Yeah, yeah I guess I am. She wanted to talk a bit more," I answered thoughtfully. "I still don't know what to make of her. She has this weird mix of insecurity, vulnerability, confidence and daring all at the same time. Just when I think she's a total bitch she says something vulnerable or kind."

"Sounds like adaptation issues."

"She makes it sound like she has changed more than most here."

"How do you mean?"

"I don't have specifics, it's just the way she said some things and how she asked the usual questions about periods and pregnancy. It was almost like she'd never talked about it before."

"Strange..."

"Yeah, I don't know what to make of her, but I like her for all of it. I expect she'll talk some more. I think she has lots of questions remaining."

"She works with the Temple Heath crowd doesn't she?"

"Yeah, wonder if she hangs out with them too?"

"We could always check out the Adam and Eve and see. I suspect Bart would try and talk her into it. He works hard to keep his newcomers happy." Dementia grinned. "You done for the night?"

"No. I told Delirium I'd only be a little while. I should go and help her for a while anyway."

"Ok, I'll be up here. The upstairs is slowing down early today."

I returned to the dance floor bar and settled in to help Delirium. Kali was back on the dance floor and still at it. She would stop long enough for water, but danced the rest of the night. When DJ Davros ended his show at 0200 she bowed to him just as someone started clapping. I was surprised that it was enough to chase her into the night.

Next evening found us making our way to the vault, the larger common room, in the foundations of the Adam and Eve. We found a corner near one of the walls that provided a reasonable view of the Temple Heath table in the center of the chamber. The table was already packed with people, food, and beer glasses.

Jo made her way over just as Allen looked up and spotted us. "Hey, over here. Don't be strangers, come join us!"

Dementia shook her head as Bart chimed in, "Come on over Dementia. I haven't seen much of you these past months. I'd think you had a new partner or something."

Dementia and I blushed deep red as we slowly rose and walked to their table. "As a matter of fact I do. Bart, you remember Ennui don't you?"

He smiled brightly, "Of course I do! Good to see you again. I'm glad you get along with her. She does better when she's not alone." He stopped when he saw Dementia looking uncomfortable. "Sit and be welcome with us." He turned and waved at the table, "This is the Temple Heath regulars. Merris I'm sure you know..." He added, waving to where Merris sat next to Kali.

"Merris?" Dementia quietly asked.

Bart grinned wickedly and said softly, "She seems to have some interest in things down here all of a sudden."

"Uh, we can't stay long, but thanks for inviting us over."

"That's fine. Just no reason for you to stay by yourselves when you have friends over here." The table returned to random conversations as Dementia and I ordered and ate. Kali was laughing it up with Merris and the rest of the table, much more at ease than I had seen her at the club. All too soon it was time for us to leave.

Outside Dementia turned and remarked, "Kali and Merris do you think?"

"Yeah, I think. Did you see their body language? They were much closer than necessary."

"That would be great. Merris needs a distraction from dispatch. She's been hermitting up there ever since I fished her out of a lake."

"You fished her out of a lake?"

"Yup, she was another one of mine. We hooked up for maybe a week, then she found her way to Portal Station and I became the other lover. I wish Kali more luck."

"Should I be jealous then?"

"Nah, that was several years ago. I like her fine, but not as a lover."

/* kali comes in again needing to talk some more - maybe the next night after shopping with Claire, maybe the night after - more about her past and her struggles to adapt with the massive changes - will she talk to Bart again as well, not quite as likely given her nervousness around men */

Over the next few days it fell into an almost ritual to go and eat with the Temple Heath crowd. As time went on we got to know most of them quite well. The fifth night we were sitting close to Kali when she leaned over and asked Jo, "Jo, who is that over in the corner? I've seen her here almost every night for the last week."

"I don't know her name. I think she might be mute or something because she never speaks. I've seen her help mum out in the kitchen a few times, more than that, who can say?"

I followed Kali's look and noticed a nondescript person sitting at a shadowed table in the far corner. From where I was sitting I couldn't see much other than to realize I had seen her several times as well. "Now that you mention it I've seen her at the Cathouse a few times. She always sits at the dance floor bar in the darkest corner she can find. Her favorite drinks are Assisted Suicides and Asthma Attacks which she orders with notes scribbled on a small white board. You know, I don't think I've ever seen her dance or talk to anyone. Mostly she just sits and types into that battered laptop, like she is now."

"That's it. I'm going to find out about her." Kali stood and strode boldly toward the table. As she neared it she slowed until she was moving slowly and with deference. She spun a chair around and straddled it after the woman waved her to sit.

They sat for a few minutes and then Kali stood. She staggered back to our table looking pale and drawn. She sat and stared into her drink.

Almost immediately Erick was asking, "Are you ok? What's her deal anyway?"

"I...she...uh...nothing..." Kali replied in a shaking voice. She took a long drink of beer before adding, "She doesn't talk about herself and she prefers her privacy."

"What did she say to you?" Erick pressed.

"I...I'd rather not say..." He started to ask again until Kali turned frosty eyes on him and stated coldly, "I will not say." Erick gulped and went back to his drink.

The figure packed the battered laptop into a ragged pack sack and stood. She flung a worn black leather duster over her thin frame, shouldered the pack, and slipped toward the exit stairs. She hugged the shadows, walking silently on the balls of her bare feet.

Curious I stood to follow, motioning to Dementia as I went. Together we trailed the figure up the stairs and out into the night. She crossed the bridge and made her way to the Cathouse. There she picked a shadowy section near the main door and bonelessly dropped to sit cross-legged in the shadows. Puzzled by her actions I approached where she waited. The closer I got to her the more a strange discomfort crawled up my back. By the time I was within three feet of her fear was fighting a winning battle with my feet, slowing me to a stop. Carefully I studied her, looking for any sign she was doing this. Her face was empty and blank, empty eye sockets stared into nothing. The fear surged to terror suddenly and I found myself spinning around and running to join Dementia at the club door. "Goddess, now I know what spooked Kali," I mumbled as I reached Dementia.

"What was it?"

"A feeling of emptiness...she had no eyes...just a cold empty shell sitting in a shadow..." Shivers rippled through me as I moved closer to the club. "Let's go open shall we?"

"This I've got to see..."

"No, let's just go, please."

Reluctantly Dementia turned and followed me toward the club. "But if she comes in tonight I'm going to come and see her, maybe even see where she goes when she leaves."

Swiftly I stepped into the light and warmth of the club. Slowly the shivers stopped and I began to feel warm once more. With the warmth a bit of my curiosity returned as well. "I'll signal you if I see her leaving, you do the same."

By the time we had finished the last of the opening duties and I had gone down stairs the woman was already seated in the shadows of the bar. It took most of my will power to approach the now sinister figure to ask her what she wanted, yet as I approached I encountered none of the terror I had felt outside. As I approached I studied her more closely than I had ever done before. The woman was neither young, nor old. Her face was nondescript, not beautiful or ugly, or handsome, or plain. It was a face it would be very hard to pick out of a crowd. Her hair was a no color brown and worn long and straight. She wore baggy, faded green fatigues and a dusty rose t-top over a thin androgynous frame. The laptop was battered and faded grey, almost like it had been left in the sun too long. The only color on it came from a gold mud flap girl sticker stuck to the back of the flip up screen. On the white board was a request for an Asthma Attack.

Throughout the night I would watch the woman when I had a bit of a break. She remained at the club most of the night. Only as the crowd began to thin did she pack her laptop and rise. Swiftly I moved to follow. The figure slipped up the darkest stairway and along the edge of the upper room. I waved frantically at Dementia until she saw and nodded. Outside the club the figure moved swiftly to the railroad and followed it toward the spillway from the higher sections of the town.

Just about at the base of the spillway was an old, rundown warehouse in a triangular lot. An overgrown cobbled street ran up one side and the rail bed ran past the other. A tilted and rusty ornate iron fence separated the weed filled yard from the street. The woman turned up the street and walked rapidly to a gate set into the fence. She pulled it open, stepped through, closed it and walked to a personnel door set into the building. A few minutes later lights came on in a section of the second floor directly above the door.

"I didn't think there was anything over here," Dementia commented.

"Recent additions?"

"Maybe... Wonder what this woman's story is? She's even more enigmatic than most."

"We can ask around back at the Cathouse. See if anyone we know has any ideas."

/* remember to change this - Anastasia will remember picking her up when reminded - ubtil then she will have forgotten all about it */

It turned out Audrey was the only other person to have interacted at all with the mystery woman. "No, I don't know her name either. She showed up a couple of weeks ago and asked to help around the brewery. I put her to work cleaning since she didn't indicate she had any previous brewing skills."

"So she talked to you then?"

"No. She used that white board of hers, just like she does with you."

"Did you know she lives in an old warehouse near the spillway?"

"So that's her? I saw lights in the top of a warehouse over there recently. Figured it was just another new arrival that I hadn't met yet."

/* insert section on Love's Bitch restart here */

/* insert section on Kali and Merris joining Love's Bitch */

/* make sure this gets updated with the corrected version from Anastasia */

Two months later was the first time I went on a mission with Kali. It was supposed to be a routine rescue mission. As I was to find out with all things Kali, this was not how it ended up. For this mission she was along as just another team member. We deployed into the target areas and began the recovery work. Audrey was along because she had become quite a good seeker after the death of Le Mort. Once all the items in the main area had been located Kali and I were assigned to a new team along with Anton, Lauren, Lissa and Anastasia. Alisha was placed in charge and we set off to find the last item. Alisha was strangely cagey with the information of what we were supposed to find. Still we progressed rapidly to the top of one of the hills nearby. There Alisha motioned everyone down and then pointed to the far edge of the hill.

Kali shrugged in my direction and inched forward. What she saw must have not been what she expected cause I saw her stiffen. When I inched forward to join her I saw the valley opening out below us. On the far side was a cluster of buildings around a large ring of stones. I looked over at Alisha and mouthed, "Is it over there?" Just then a small group of grey skinned beings emerged from one of the buildings. Other groups joined in from the remaining buildings until a large gathering surrounded the stones. They began to dance and sway in a strange rhythmic pattern. It was disturbing and compelling in an odd sort of way. After a few minutes I found I didn't want to take my eyes off it.

Alisha motioned us back although most of us ignored her. She had to pull my head away from the site below before I would pay any attention to her. Once she had our attention again she gave us our assignments. "We need to stop them from opening that gate. At least until the rest of the mission is completed. Lauren, Anastasia and I have some magic that we can use that should blast the stones and topple them. The rest of you need to keep watch to make certain we aren't disturbed."

Kali immediately returned to watching the valley while the rest of us stared off in various directions. We would sneak glances back whenever we thought no one was looking. Alisha, Lauren, and Anastasia started chanting and gesturing. At first nothing seemed to happen but then slowly I could feel something like a static charge building around the three of them.

I could feel it ebbing and flowing like a hesitant tide. It would surge up and fall back as the rhythm of their voices struggled to remain steady. In the distance I heard Kali's muttered whisper as if I were standing next to her, "Damn it, come on. They've almost got the gate open..."

I turned to look just as a small white ball formed near Alisha. She tried to juggle it in a shaking hand as Kali snapped, "Transfer control. Give me the pattern, you're losing it."

"You haven't been trained. I can't," Alisha replied.

"Transfer control, NOW. I can stabilize it. Give me the pattern!" A flash of anger flitted across Alisha’s face as she tossed the energy ball angrily toward Kali. It darted to a place above her head and began to pulse and wobble crazily. Sweat popped out on Kali's face as she fought some type of battle with it.

For long moments it all seemed to hang in a twisted sort of balance until the blob suddenly popped into a perfect ball of light. Looks of wonder formed on Lauren and Alisha's faces as they shifted toward Kali. As they focused on her the white ball swelled to five times its original size, turning lop-sided and wavery as it did. Her face twisted into a silent shriek as she snarled out, "Too much! I have enough!"

Energy crackled and sizzled in her hair. Lightning danced from her fingertips to the ground as she raged and fought to restore the perfect ball. After long minutes the corona around her dimmed and the ball shrunk back to a dancing globe of white. Kali looked up at it and smiled. With a gentle little push she nudged it toward the dark energies that were gathered around the stones.

Like a ball rolling down a hill the little globe of light started moving slowly, gathering speed as it went. "Get down! The back-blast can kill you!" Alisha yelled. I started to dive until I saw Kali. She stood with her head slightly cocked and a bemused expression as the little ball rolled closer and closer to its target. Mesmerized I watch as well as it gently bumped into the roiling black cloud of energy. There was a firm THUMP and the black energy vanished. Little grey dust devils danced away from the stones and into the grey beings. Eleven of them dropped soundlessly to the dirt.

Alisha stood shakily and stared at Kali, "What have you done?"

"I balanced the gate with a counter-gate," Kali replied calmly. I noticed her twitch her head a bit when the others weren't watching. She caught my gaze and gave me an imperceptible wink.

She turned toward the others when Lissa gave a ragged little laugh and said, "Of course, she must be the new Writer Big Joe mentioned." And yes, the capital 'W' was attached to the term writer. I would learn more about that in time as I got to know Kali better. But right then I was more puzzled than the others by the remark.

"Yeah, leave it to a Writer. They never do things the usual way," Marren added.

"Hey, Ms. Writer, shall we get out of here now?" Lauren asked with a bit of awe apparent in her voice. Kali nodded and motioned for Alisha to lead the way. I ended up beside her as we headed back.

"That was pretty impressive back there. How did you know to do that?"

"I'm not sure... Ever since I got here I just know things I never would have before. Some days it makes my head hurt."

"At least you have some idea. I've been here for a while now and still don't know why. I want to help out and..." A panicked twitchy feeling ran up my spine. Without even thinking I dove sideways into Kali and brought us both to the ground. A black ball of energy sailed through where we had been moments before. "Alisha, the rest of you get down NOW!" Black energy bursts shot through the air. One clipped Lauren as she dropped slower than the others. "Kali, can..."

"Ennui, get the rest of them out of here and warn the main team. We have to go as soon as everyone is there." As I watched pale ice replaced her eyes and she began dancing an odd pattern while power crackled around her.

I turned and crawled as fast as I could toward the others. As I crawled I began to understand Kali's confusion as patterns appeared in my head. It was almost like the computer images that were used in movies. In my mind I could see the hill we were on and the position where the black balls had come from. There was a second clot of dark grey beings slipping around to the right through a glade of trees. A third group of enemies was making its way up from the valley in a line that would take them to the train. Alisha and the others were also there in the positions they occupied. While I tried to sort it all out the image that was Kali began to move toward the larger third group.

Complex movement plans danced through the image as my mind went off on its own and began running various sets of actions. Tiny little figures danced up and down the hillside, first moving one way then the other, always in a jerky kind of fast motion. In each case some or all of the figures on my side dropped and didn't move again. Suddenly one snapped into focus. The little figures danced a simple pattern and then ran for the train. As soon as I reached Alisha I started it in motion for real. "Alisha, you move left and around the clump of trees, come up on their flank. Fire into the center of them. There's a leader in there, the third one up from the back and surrounded by the tallest ones. Don't kill it, just knock it out. As soon as the center figures drop break around the back of them and run for the recovery team." Next I came to Anton where he was tending to Lauren, "Can you move her? If so, start back for the recovery team. We'll be right behind you. Warn them they have half an hour to get things wrapped up." Then I crawled over to Lissa, "Are you able to do magic on your own?"

She gave a frightened nod, "What do you want me to do?"

"You're with me. We are going around to the right through the bushes over there," I pointed where we would go. "There's a small group coming up just to the right of those bushes. In the back is a spell user. We need to knock out the group. I'll take the magic using leader and the three others in back. You take the front three. We don't want to kill them."

She stared at me with wide eyes, "How do you know that?"

"You have to trust that I do right now. Maybe I can explain later."

Why not kill them? I know how to do that...I think..."

"It..." the words began to form in my head as I spoke them, "It's a balance issue. If we kill then they can. If we don't they won't either." I wanted to stop and think about this new development but there was no time. Quickly we crawled to the bushes.

We only had to wait a minute or two before the small clot of grey beings emerged from the trees exactly where they should have been.

Lissa turned frightened eyes on me, "I...I don't know how to do this..."

Fear chased through my stomach and I wanted to shake her something awful. Instead I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, "Think back to how you do magic. It had to be terrifying the first time but you did it. You can do it now. I trust you." It was amazing to watch her face clear. I had a moment of pride realizing I had done that. She drew herself up and chanted a few weird sounds almost silently. Seconds later she shot her left hand out and a pink shaft of energy leapt from her fingertips. It splashed against the three leading figures. One gave a short grunt of anger as they dropped to the ground in a shapeless huddles.

My hand flashed forward then and the back four dropped to join their comrades.

"Wow!" She turned to me smiling in triumph.

"Awesome job! Now we run for the train. I bet they'll be pissed when they wake up." It was easy to give her a grin in return.

"Oh yes. That felt like they'll wake with terrible hangovers." she laughed almost hysterically. Twenty minutes later we were in sight of the train. It looked like my message had not been taken seriously. The team was still scattered about the site merrily digging and carrying on.

Anton saw us and came running with Alisha in tow, "We tried to warn them but they didn't want to hear it."

A red haze of anger filmed my eyes as I drew breath to shout. Just then Kali dashed from the trees into the clearing. "What the fuck is this? Weren't you warned? Get on the train right now."

"Lissa, start warning people you know, get them headed toward the train. Anton, you and Alisha do the same." I instructed in a calm but carrying voice.

Thomas, the official team leader puffed up and bellowed, "Hold it! I am in charge here. I would do nothing to endanger this mission however these new comers seek to panic us."

Kali drew breath to shout just as I saw a clot of figures break from the cover of the trees. "Kali, behind you!" She spun and drew energy. Thomas stood rooted to his spot as an energy bolt shattered the ground at his feet.

"Everyone, fall back to the train." I ran at Thomas and shoved him out of the way as another ball clipped my back. Howling in pain I staggered to my feet as Kali let fly with a massive burst of energy. The grey figures dropped as one. Kali swayed and dropped to her knees a second later. Adrenalin sizzled through me as I flipped Thomas over and grabbed his shoulders. "Go get Kali and get her to the train."

Scared eyes looked back as he mumbled, "How could I know..."

"Get her now. Talk later." I hauled at him and screamed as the fire in my back flared again. Anton dashed back and hauled me in a fireman's carry to the train. Thomas came seconds later half dragging Kali. "Lissa, get the train moving..." It was a hiss through the pain as my vision swam. Blackness flickered at the edges of my sight. The train began to move as I finally surrendered and dropped into the comforting dark.

"Ennui, Ennui..." A voice kept sounding in the distance.

"Want sleep."

"Ennui, come on, I need you to wake up."

"Sleep now."

"No, Ennui, I need you awake."

I pried an eye open and looked into the face of Anton. "Prick," I mumbled.

"Yes, I have one. You want to see it?"

I couldn't stop the giggles that prompted. "Ouch! Now see what you did?" I had wanted it to be teasing but it came out more like a whine.

"Good, now you are waking up. I need to check your shoulder and I didn't want that to be what woke you."

His words brought it all back. I struggled to sit as I asked, "Are we ok? Did we get everyone?"

"Yes, everyone's ok. You're the worst of the lot. Kali's sleeping off whatever she did and Thomas is wanting to apologize as soon as you're ready." His fingers were moving as he spoke and a stab of pain followed. Gently he rolled me over and examined it. "Looks like you're going to be ok. No sign of infection or poison. Thank you for back there by the way. You did a great thing getting us all out alive." Swiftly he re bandaged it and settled me back onto the set of seats that had been rigged as a bed.

"Ugh, how long have I been out?"

"Four hours. We passed Portal station over an hour ago. We'll be in Death City shortly. That was the other reason to wake you."

"I suppose I should give Thomas his chance now. It'll only get harder if I put it off. Could you help me sit up? I don't want to be laying down for that."

"No weakness in front of the troops?"

I couldn't tell from his voice if he was serious, mocking or teasing so I just said, "Nope. Must appear super-human at all times. Passing out kind of spoils that though..." I finished through a very shallow laugh which still hurt more than I had hoped.

"You're doing ok with it I think." He finished propping me up with a big wad of pillows.

A few minutes later Thomas came into view. He leaked nervousness and worry. "I, uh, I'm sorry about all that. I've never seen that kind of attack before. I didn't mean to put anyone in danger."

"I'd say it was ok, but it really isn't. You can't take those kinds of chances with people's lives."

"But how was I to know it wasn't hysteria?"

"Thomas," I tried to be as diplomatic as I could. Truthfully that was very hard when the actions had been so poorly thought out. "Thomas, if it were hysteria, don't you think you should have tried to find out why? The first thing we learned as kids, at least those of us with the circus, was you always look out for the others of your team. Together we are strong, apart we are weak."

"I...I didn't..." His eyes turned slightly moist as he tried to explain, "Look, I was in charge because I can coordinate recovery actions pretty well. I'm not good when it comes to thinking about danger. I'm an archeologist, or at least I was. My skills are knowing what kinds of things are important from an artifact stand point. I didn't sign on for war."

"None of us did. I fear we may not have a choice right now though. I'm sorry this happened on your watch. Leading in ideal cases is easy. Leading during danger is not."

"Next time..."

"Don't worry about next time. I suspect there'll be a debriefing on this if I know Merris. Things will get worked out and new policies decided after I think." Anton moved back and said, "Merris routed us around by the Cathouse. You can get off first. She said she'll come see you tomorrow about the debriefing. You rest tonight."

"Yes sir, mister doctor sir."

He smiled and said, "And don't you forget it missy." He finished speaking as the train began to slow. Outside the window was the very welcome site of the Cathouse loading platform. The train pulled to a stop as the most welcome site of all came into view. There was Dementia standing on the platform nervously watching the windows. I stretched to wave and was hit with pain as damaged things were stretched. I hissed and waved anyway.

She wave back. Within moments she had me wrapped in a careful hug. Kisses followed until Anton coughed slightly. "You know she'd be more comfortable and easier to get to if she were inside."

Dementia blushed her really cute blush and helped me up. I gave Anton a last smile as we walked slowly from the train. As we passed some of the others they clapped and called out thanks. It was my turn to blush at that. Dementia commented loudly, "My very own hero. Eat it up guys." I didn't think I could turn any more red until she said that.

We went straight to our rooms where she settled me in bed and then climbed in to join me. "I've arranged for the others to take care of the club tonight. We are going to have ourselves a nice long healing trance. And then you get a proper welcome back." It wasn't very long until I tumbled down into sleep.

Late the next day I woke with warm arms around me. Smiling like a fool I cuddled close, noticing the healing had worked well once again. When sleepy brown eyes opened next to me I smiled and kissed the nose between them. Much later I padded to the kitchen to re-enact the most important ritual ever invented, the creation of a good pot of coffee. The skin and muscles in my shoulder were still tight, however the nagging pain was gone. Coffee in hand I returned to the bedroom and had Dementia unwrap the bandages. She pronounced it healed.

We spent the last of the daylight sitting while I told her about the mission. I had just finished when there was a knock at the door. Standing outside were Kali and Merris. Waving them in I offered coffee and then we all returned to the comfortable chairs.

Merris asked the first questions and once again I found myself explaining what had happened. This time in much more detail. I saw Kali raise her eyebrows at my description of how I got the small group off the hill side.

"So I'm not the only one," she mumbled.

"The only one that what?" I asked.

"That gets things just appearing in their thoughts."

Dementia laughed at that, "Goddess, no. I've had things popping into my head since I got here."

"I get the basic dispatch data in a similar way. I know where to route the trains and the tracks are there. It isn't more thought out than that some times."

"I don't know why I didn't see this one though," Dementia said slowly.

Merris hastened to reassure her, "You haven't seen them all, ever, have you?"

"No, but...but someone I really..." she started to say through sudden tears.

"That's the hardest part I find. When I have to send someone I know out into the unknown. It never gets easier and I don't ever get visions about the dangers they may face." Her eyes drifted to Kali even though they weren't sitting together. A knowing smile tried to flicker on my face but I held it back as hard as I could. Still, I think Dementia saw it cause she gave me a tiny little nod. "You won't always know."

"But it's only going to get worse and I can't see if the people," Dementia's voice broke and she continued in a choked whisper, "the people I care about will survive the coming war."